Oh ffs, if my dog were on AIBU this would be the scene right now.

[SatansLittleHelper2]

AIBU ??

I'd just finished taking a drink from the toilet bowl when I smelt something tasty in.the bathroom bin.

What could I do other than nose it out the door so it rolled down the stairs (( my preferred method of bin opening )) and there amongst the usual fluff was a blood soaked, tasty morsel.

IMO in thinking my human over reacted ?? Was there really any need to chase me round the house screeching and yelling at human number 2 (( number 2 because he doesnt keep treats in his pocket ))' the string, the.fucking string, the stupid idiot has a.fucking tampon string hanging out of its mouth, don't just sit there'

After snatching my snack away owner is now upstairs making an awful racket in the bathroom. AIBU in thinking this is emotional abuse and completely unreasonable ? I really don't see what all the fuss is about. 🐕

Oh my god, that's disgusting. Do dogs really do this?

This is why Muslims don't have dogs in the house they are disgusting

• dogs that is!

I know quite a few Muslims with pet dogs.

YANBU I am a PUG and am in deep trouble because my stupid owner left the fridge door open and I found some tasty sausage and of course ate it I am a PUG that's what we do,

It did taste funny apparently it had something called garlic in it normally when I fart my owner just smiles but after I had the sausage and did a tiny little fart she went ballistic (must admit it WAS a bit more pungent than normal and TBH I was proud of it) now I am consigned to the conservatory whilst my sister Pug is in the kitchen having HAM

Its not fair

My human is just as bad. Can't she see that by opening the outdoor bin, opening the bags and removing all dirty nappies, that I'm just adding to the ambience of the garden?
Or that by taking all her tights into my bed for a nibble I'm giving her an excuse to buy more?
Why wasn't she grateful that when I ate a sock, my poo came out tucked inside it, wrapped up like a little gift just for her?
These humans need taking in hand. I even gave my human her MN username- she says I'm "always booping my snoot into something I shouldn't be". Do I get any extra credit? NO!
We must stage a coup to show them who's boss.

Best Regards,
BoopDawg

YABU. She's probably jealous and wanted to share the tasty snack but you didn't offer it to her. When I eat my brother-dog's poo in the garden (soooooooo tasty! ) I always make sure to poop it back out in liquid form so that the humans can enjoy it too!

Yanbu I do this too and my human hates it! They also don't like it when I helpfully clean the cat litter of poop. You would think they would be grateful!

Yabu
You're an amateur!! Up your game!!!
I find a naice poo (I find fox is best). Roll, eat, repeat. I show no sign of undue distress. Once home I will immediately (and without warning - this is best if DPeople is on toilet) regurgitate said poo. Before DPerson can hobble toward me pants round ankles I will then run off and hide in a carpeted area and regurgitate the regurgitated poo. I then allow DPerson to clear this nightmare up (it's a true success if she has tears streaming down her face as she herself attempts not to vomit onto the awful mess)
Love, peace out
DemonLab

AIBU to be sick of my human trying to put eye drops in my only precious eye 3 times a day, does she not know the energy I have to put into running and hiding from her when she appears with the little bottle, she also blames me for needing the eye drops, all I tried to do was save her from next doors cat by escaping out the front door, trying to fly but crash landing head first into nettles, having a reaction to said nettles so my only eye couldn't open meaning a trip to the vet on bank holiday Monday, where again she was not happy at me because I kept growling at the other dogs, not socially acceptable she tells me!

If she keeps moaning about the price of vet trips this week I will unleash a Staffie fart in her direction...again!

I would comment on this thread but it's sunny, the birds have the cheek to start singing in the garden, so I'm going outside now to bark at them for no reason at all.

YABU - That is so gross. I only deign to eat cut up chicken pieces that have been very slightly heated in the microwave.

The human tries to make me eat dog nuts by mixing them in with my chicken, but I am an expert at avoiding them. The vet suggested that the human should try pressing the dog nuts into the chicken pieces to make sure I eat them, so I just refused to eat at all until I got my own way.

Me 1 - Humans 0

Mwhahahahaha

My humans just the same any time I look after one of her bras for her she tells me off.For sod sake,it's not my fault her bras smell like breast milk to me despite the fact she reckons she hasn't breastfed any of the hairless pets we own(and she calls them her DC)for 6 years,I reckon she's lying and if she won't let me snuggle her chest she can at least let me snuggle,slobber over and chew up her bras!

It's not my fault she keeps buying new one's and I have to wear them in for her.

YANBU. My humans are exactly the same and won't let me do anything! They shout when I eat my own poo, and tell me off when I bark at birds/flies/the ribena advert on the tv/the meerkets on the tv/anything I don't like. Don't they understand this is my house and I WILL NOT tolerate intruders?! They should be happy that I keep the house safe from all potential threats.

One of my favourite games is to wait until human has sat down in front of tv and then start barking not because anything is wrong, but because I fancy. AIBU to think the human should not tell me off for this. Also, the humans think they're being nice by giving me bits of chicken sometimes. It's a start but I think they should give me a bit of whatever they're eating, it smells so yummy. I don't even cry, I'm that considerate that I just sit there and hope I'm annoying them enough, but the humans tell me off again and send me to sit on 'my' chair (I have comanddered my own chair, complete with blanket in living room. This does not mean I can't go on other seats in the living room but when wet I can only go on my chair. Which I think is unreasonable actually. Why does how wet I am matter?! Surely my comfort and wishes are the main thing!)

Honestly I'm constantly being bossed about. Human 1 (because he is soft and gives in) isn't too bad about giving in re food or allowing me to have the door open in the cold (when it is raining I dont wish to go outside but want to sit on the doorstep and make sure no squirrels are invading my garden) but is annoying over my barking! Human 2 (bit stricter than number 1 but still lenient) normally admits defeat after a while but does insist in talking in a soppy voice, giving me cwtches and doesn't let me get away with as much as number one. She does put me to bed in a most satisfactory way though so that's alright. Human 3 (so named because she's the meanest) has her ideas and no amount of whining changes them! She takes me to the vet and complains when I bark at other dogs, tells me off when I eat poo, tells me off when I chew the quilt on her bed, insists on putting this yucky 'wormer' goo on my back now and then and doesn't like it when I growl in response, basically I can't get away with anything with her! Although she does buy me toys so not completely bad, just mostly.

Aibu to climb into the female hoomans prized water feature ( that looks like a large toilet if you ask me) and sulk because I got a real telling off for chasing the gardener round the garden trying to hump him?
Apparently it was very embarrassing but I've hit that teenage phase and I hump anything that moves - he was moving, quite rapidly as a matter of fact!

I love my humans, they have installed a buffet table for me but call it litter tray for some reason
There are fresh morsels of deliciousness deposited for me every day, sometimes there's even a warm one!
They have also installed carpet all over the house which is fabulous for my arse draggery, I can do it all over the house and leave little train tracks of shit, but oh the relief a good shag pile brings

Ah yes, the.relief of a good shagpile. It's like heavens angels blowing on my hairy, dog arse

My chief human keeps telling me off for barking at sheep... They are in the next field, how dare they!
Also she well and truly freaks out when i find halved rabbits in the thick bushy bit in the wood.

However, they did buy a huge new l-shaped bed for me which takes up most of the living room. Trouble is they seem to want to sit on it with me, cheeky fuckers!

Dear oh dear. You need to watch some of those training videos on Wooftube.

I have my female human trained so well she has bought new bras just so I can chew on the old ones I steal the new ones as well obviously

I also run a useful chicken wrangling service. They just wander around the whole garden and look untidy so I herd them into a nice small space.

For some reason the humans just don't understand my OCD (organising canine dilemma) the little lavender chicken has to be carried around - it is for her own good.

my humans are awful

can you tell me if this is abuse

eg stopping me from eating a pile of orange sick in the street. Making a big kerfuffle about me getting my tongue RIGHT in my sister's ear (it was only for 20 minutes, 30 absolute tops). Not letting us go to the street party today while they whooped it up with the neighbours. Not letting us play with the wabbits. I only want to pet um

And to cap it all. Smaller humans rolling biscuits down my upturned chops trying to get them between my ears with great hilarity for all the world as though I was a cheap fairground amusement

AND THAT WAS JUST TODAY

Should I phone Dogline. I should, shouldn't I

....oh, and the floors

I haven't mentioned the floors

they...got rid of the...the carpets. When we moved here. All the carpets, just...thrown ....thrown in a s s s SKIP

I should be on one of them adverts

YANBU.

I got the same reaction from my humans when I brought a used condom downstairs from the bathroom bin during the small human's playdate.

Very chewy.

My human is a bit pissed off with me today. Her hairless pet had a nose bleed and I thought I was helping by chewing up the blooded tissues.
Then I ate a tube of toothpaste. It tastes better than that beef crap she does mine with.

Are they always this controlling ?

LTB

don't get me started on the toothpaste

I get liver flavour ugh how fucking patronising can you get

you'd think they'd take a bit of time, research it better. Try looking at this thread for a kick off. How about fox shit flavour? Or (my personal favourite) rabbit shit (I'm trying out veganism). Or even just plain sick flavour