Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

With a human skull in the garden?

640 replies

Slippersandacuppa · 07/05/2016 20:45

Because I've never been in this situation before.

We've been tidying up the garden and have piles of rubble all over the place. One of our rickety old fences borders a graveyard (very old belonging to ancient church) and I'm assuming the skull sort of drifted under our fence and has been near the top of the soil for a while. I hope.

I've googled but can't seem to find much info. I'll be contacting the parish council on Monday but wondered if it warrants a call to 101 (or whatever it is) to register it just in case it's not a graveyard wanderer Confused

Anyone had a similar experience?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
33
mateysmum · 14/05/2016 16:27

Ever considered having the house exorcised?? Wooooh alert

So if you have no septic tank, do you have mains drainage and if not where is all the pooh going? Could Yorick have died from inhalling pooh fumes?

SoupDragon · 14/05/2016 16:33

Having read the story of the phantom septic tank, I'm not convinced that unbricking that the wall in the cellar is a good idea.

zzzzz · 14/05/2016 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LMGTFY · 14/05/2016 19:19

As an honour to the late great prince you should be themumsnetterformerlyknownasskull!
I'm reasonably fearless stupid and totally bribeable so would investigate the cellar, however I am also fat and old so am probably not much use!

tanberry08 · 14/05/2016 20:01

Ok so is the conclusion that anyone in possession of a skull needs to hand it in to the police? Even if it has 'been in the family' for years, including prior to the current possessor's birth? Asking on behalf of a friend...(!)

aSkullByAnyOtherName · 14/05/2016 20:02

LMGTFY You are willing, which is a massive step above anyone else me. Come over!

I love that username. Do you mind?

DH has poured one of his legendary G&Ts. It's hopeless. I'm going to get him to have a look.

And I am most definitely calling PC You're Married and PC Dogman tomorrow. I need to know how Yorick is.

aSkullByAnyOtherName · 14/05/2016 20:04

Did he/she you unearth buy it recently?

She you could have her your own thread!

aSkullByAnyOtherName · 14/05/2016 20:05

That was bloody difficult 🍸

LMGTFY · 14/05/2016 20:37

If I wasn't 5 hours away and already on the prosecco I would! And go for it with the username!

We all need to know how yorick is, he could have been bagged n tagged and stored in a dingy basement, we need to know he's OK!

RubbishMantra · 14/05/2016 21:47

I also thought hooks for hanging meat after looking at your last 3 photos. But what kind of meat?!?! Has anyone seen the French film, "Frontiers"...

Bolingbroke · 14/05/2016 23:36

I haven't rubbish but it's made me think of the Last King of Scotland. That involved meat hooks and James mcavoy. Not pleasant...

kelpeed · 15/05/2016 05:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CattyMcCatface · 15/05/2016 17:02

There are houses near here which have septic tanks and I can tell you when they are emptied you bloody know it - the stench is undescribable! When your one was 'emptied' if you couldn't smell it they were definitely screwing you over!

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 15/05/2016 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EBearhug · 15/05/2016 17:45

enough of the scarey stuff. here's a nice theory based on a bed time story .

the real reason for the tunnel AND the cellar

But that implies the OP is Boggis, Bunce or Bean...

ScrambledSmegs · 15/05/2016 17:51

What the blazes is that thing, Sexlube? It looks like one of the Tremors worms went to IKEA.

I'm on my phone so it could be a perfectly mundane piece of decoration but at about 2cm square it's terrifying.

SexLubeAndAFishSlice · 15/05/2016 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BananaThePoet · 15/05/2016 19:40

Tanbury08 - "Ok so is the conclusion that anyone in possession of a skull needs to hand it in to the police? Even if it has 'been in the family' for years, including prior to the current possessor's birth? Asking on behalf of a friend...(!)"

It depends how the skull came into the family in the first place. I used to have a human skull in a box on top of my wardrobe when I was a student in the 80s and I inherited it from another dental student and at the time we all had them as in those days anatomically correct skulls made of plastic did not exist as the technology didn't exist to make them accurately enough for study purposes.

I suppose ones like that are unlikely to interest the police. The one I had was fitted out with nice golden hooks and 'eyes' to fasten the top of the cranium on like a lid and hooks and 'eyes' and springs to fasten the mandible to the maxilla.

These days I'd be very squeamish about having such a thing as no doubt somebody's family sold this skull and probably the body too to a merchant who then sold it on to a medical supplies firm and I would feel very uncomfortable about the level of exploitation likely to have been involved.

Back then I'm ashamed to say it didn't cross my mind at all Sad

tanberry08 · 15/05/2016 22:34

Thanks BananaThePoet - yes I do not like having it around, would like to get it buried somewhere but as it is has been passed down dh's family side am meeting with resistance!!

LookJustCancelTheCheque · 16/05/2016 09:24

Just shamelessly parking myself on here.

Love this thread. How gothic.

kelpeed · 16/05/2016 11:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmINutsTheTruthPlease · 16/05/2016 13:07

Quick update: Phoned the local police station. They read the file and said there was supposed to have been a follow up the day after YS was seized but that hadn't happened. He was going to email the police officers who had come out to ask them if anything had happened. They'd spelt my name wrong (it is a VERY common surname) and got my phone number wrong. I'm guessing they were blown away by the excitement of it all.

Anyway, I asked if it was okay to call back and they said no problem, so I'll do that and report back Smile

SoupDragon · 16/05/2016 13:35

Did you tell him there was a whole host of your Imaginary Friends waiting with bated breath?

AmINutsTheTruthPlease · 16/05/2016 14:43

Sorry, it is skull here and I'm not sure Nuts is better so I'll revert back!

You are not imaginary 😳🦄

I did imply it was quite important I got a response soon.

Natsku · 16/05/2016 15:52

I hope you stressed how extremely important it is that we you know soon!