things I didn't know I found annoying until I had children.

[BusyCee]

repetition
loud noises
things being spilled on the floor
being touched

To be fair all the above happened far less frequently before I had children. Repetition is a particular annoyance - not just me saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, but chanting, singing the same line of a song repeatedly, taunting etc.

Love them, but dear God for just 24hrs of peace....

and I'm sure Ds is fine tuned to know when I'm slacking. I can be busy clattering about in the kitchen, if I sit for two minutes I hear 'muuuum' from the livingroom!

Oh yes, and splash mats were invented so Mum's could have a number 2 in peace. If Ds hears me he announces 'are you having a poo'?

sits rocking on the loo

I had forgotten all this stuff now mine are older. The repetition of it all. DH never understanding why I was so keen to get them into bed (some nights they had half five bedtime, just so I could breathe )

To the poster upthread who said that maybe it was internet and computers that made children more reliant on adults for entertainment - my oldest dc were born in the eighties and had no consoles until school age, but certainly did all that whiney fighty stuff regardless.

Yes when mine where younger and it was winter i used to put them to bed earlier.You just need a bit of peace.

And when they talk endless crap and you switch off,why do they pick that moment to ask you to repeat what they just said.

Plus they always wait til you eating something or after taking a drink to ask you a question.And they keep repeating while you try to answer without choking.

I have another one - (the walking in front of the pushchair mentioned upthread reminded me -DD1 did that ...with random stops- and she was 6 or 7 not a toddler. The 20 min walk from the local shops used to take the best part of an hour ....thinking about it still makes me grind my teeth...)
The wanting - in fact insisting - to go to the shop on a balance bike or a scooter... then after 5 mins deciding they would rather walk/run instead - so you are stuck struggling carrying shopping and a blinking bike/scooter...and those metal scooters with thin edges are designed to spin round and inflict the maximum amount of pain as they bash into shins...

Oh the fecking stopping! My DC are both like clockwork toys, they wander along for a bit and then... stop. Not to do anything, just stop and stare into space! I have to say "Keep walking!" "We're trying to get somewhere!" "Yes, that's right, keep moving!" about 300 times to complete any journey.

Being stood on. OMG I hate to be stood on. Can just about handle it from an under 2yo.

esp. bad when the nipples get stood on

They still turn brushing teeth into combat sport.

Oh thank goodness its not just me with the touching thing! I loathe being tapped on the arm or shoulder by DD (5) during mealtimes. She is continually trying to get my attention and does not seem to get that tapping me when I am right next to her is not required. Its all I can do not to flick her off me! I also feel all touched out. I feel harassed by DD, the dogs and DH for affection ALL the fecking time. A cold hard nose from the dog on the back of the leg is as annoying as DD's shoulder tap.

Personal space is a huge issue for me and I get the rage when I get crowded by them all. We have a galley kitchen and they frequently all get in the way at once when I am cooking.

When I am on the loo, DD taps on the door and sings 'Elsa? Pleeease, I know you're in there!' grrr

Everything that has already been said!

Finger prints! Finger prints everywhere, mirrors, windows, door handles and light switches are constantly covered. It drives me fucking barmy!

The TV is constantly covered in smears. Why? It's for watching not touching! Stop hugging the TV, why do you need to get so close to it? Once I found a kiss mark on the TV . Who knew that I needed to enforce a "no kissing the TV rule"?

My mum hasn't been in good health recently so I went to her house to clean - her house was minging but the TV was spotless.

The never ending mess drives me insane. I thought that when DD2 went to school the house would be tidier but nooo. She wakes at 6am and turns the house upside down before she leaves for school. Leaving it for me to tidy up when I get home from dropping her off!

When I am on the loo, DD taps on the door and sings 'Elsa? Pleeease, I know you're in there!'

OMG that's hilarious! Does she then sink to the floor and sing the closing lines of "Do You Wanna Build A Snowman" with her back against the bathroom door?

toomuchtooold Yep.

I am considering enrolling her in drama classes next term. She can also squeeze out a tear on demand...

I naively thought I would be able to zone out any annoying noise my children made.

How fucking stupid I was.

chocolate One of mine will go "I shut you out!" and put her hand up to block the other one. Then the other one goes "PLEASE don't shut me out again" and then it descends. "Mummy, she shut me out! Muuummmyyyyy!" Oh FFS, you are acting a part from a film! You are not actually princess Anna! Just sing the bloody song!

the mixing together play doh making it a horrible brown poo colour

ds totally spoilt the play doh cakes, fruit and aliens i made by mashing it all together to make a big poo ball and expected me to be impressed

Yy to the touching and standing right behind you in the kitchen!

Also whistling - DS (7) has just discovered whistling, possibly due to gappy front teeth, and it goes right through my head!

Nipple-standing-on, omg yes!

Foot can find nip at a million paces, yet, if I ask child to stand in particular spot (on pavement, by door, touching car) they lose all sense of knowing how to fucking stand.

Argh to the being stood on! YES! And knelt on too.

Both my boys, nearly 8 and 3, have the ability to kneel/stand on the side of my thigh, arm, or nipple Every Single Fucking Time. It HURTS!! I no longer grin and bear it though.

Can I throw in shit jokes?

Mummy, mummy! What is brown and goes splat? A poo!!!!! A poo!!!!!

Mummy, what is brown and goes splat boing? A poo!!! Hahahahaha!

Mummy, mummy..... What is.....

Over and over and over again

The endless bloody cleaning and tidying. Once upon a time I worked f/t, cleaned the house Saturday mornings and it stayed clean and tidy. Now I clean and tidy every day. By 5pm it doesn't look as though I've even attempted to clean or tidy as the DC come home, play, play fight, throw all the cushions on the floor to play some random made up game...
Oh, and Justin. Do you know how annoying Justin is when you're on your second DC? Poor dd never got to watch cbeebies much. She was raised on scooby doo and 'let's draw/paint/bake/go to the park/have a tea party/anything to not have to watch cbeebies all over again because I did it with DS'.

Weetabix that hardens into something that is strong enough to fill potholes with - ohhh yes, I remember that!

My favourite weetabix memory is the weetabix sneezer - where the child waits until you have fed them a big spoonful of the stuff before sneezing, and basically pebbledashing the whole fecking room with weetabix. Washing weetabix out of your hair and eyebrows, after picking it off all the furniture is such fun.

All of the above!

I'll add spongebob laughing. Thanks dh for discovering spongebob on Netflix, I had weeks, weeks of ds imitating spongebob!

I was a woman on the edge, then ds got bored of it, thank fucking god!!