things I didn't know I found annoying until I had children.

[BusyCee]

repetition
loud noises
things being spilled on the floor
being touched

To be fair all the above happened far less frequently before I had children. Repetition is a particular annoyance - not just me saying the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, but chanting, singing the same line of a song repeatedly, taunting etc.

Love them, but dear God for just 24hrs of peace....

Last night 2 year old DS woke up coughing and crying saying he needed "medsin" so I brought him downstairs to get the calpol and he was warm so I took off his socks. He looked down and saw fluff on his toes shouted "FUFFFFF" and let out and almighty scream. He couldn't breathe he was that upset. Hell on earth at the time but I must admit it is cute now I think about it

No sense of individual space, being lain on, and now older being draped on. Hate it.

The tone of that Mummmmmmmmy or Papaaaaaa when they want something. Always having an audience on the loo, or whenever you want or need to do something faintly embarrassing eg tampax.

Not staying in bed in the f*ing morning, and not going to bed in the evening.

And mine are not toddlers

Another joyous moment is when DS tips up a full bowl of cereal on purpose. I could cry! He's not naughty the rest of the time but finds this hilarious.

I spend a lot of time reading to him and teaching him new words and he doesn't listen then I mutter "for fuck sake" under my breath ONCE and now he keeps going "uh sake, uh sake". I pray he doesn't figure out the first word

Oh yes the endless blooding bickering. And that noise when injustice has occurred.

The sound of things being constantly dropped on the wooden floor (think coins). Supremely irritating!

Ah TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams, Raisins - yes, raisins. Everywhere.
The Whining. Picking the bits of orange out of the marmalade
And what I find most surprising of all, muddying the paint colours in their pots.

Feet going stiff or squirmy when trying to put socks on. I fucking hate putting ds socks on him. Worst point of my day!
Answering the same question over and over (how can flowers grow?) Or telling the same story over and over (jack and the beanstalk).

My three year old's current vogue for staging massive 'emergencies' on the living room floor (involving a hundred vehicles and half the Happyland population, a dolls' house, a fire station and a garage) with which he begs me to assist, but won't then let do do anything with the grubby, slightly-broken fire engine I'm allowed to hold.apparently I do the siren noise wrong.

'Head wrestling', which involves getting down on all fours and trying to push each other backwards with our foreheads. His is like a cannon ball with blonde hair.

He is fully able to go to the loo by himself, but likes me to come in and have long, philosophical conversations about death and sewage while he does a poo.

Thomas the fucking self-righteous bastard Tank Engine. And Fireman Sam. I fantasise about his slightly jealous fisherman brother Charlie using him as bait.

Jesus fuck. Weetabix. Everywhere. And more often than not dried to cement so that it doesn't fucking come off anything!!!!

That and the touching. Being mauled 85% of my day, no wonder I just want to lie down and sleep by 7pm. Relentless.

The mess the mess the bloody mess.

YY repetition. I am sick of the sound of my own voice.

Great thread. Makes me feel strangely normal.

Solidarity!

Buying a cake or ice cream that's then dropped or child exclaims "I don't like it" " I want a different one". Rage.

Just when I think I've nailed training both dc not to stand in front of the front door (so I can open it with keys) one of them stands right in front of the fucking door again tonight.

Que?

Yupyupyup to standing way too close, leaning on me constantly and pulling my trousers down while I'm trying to wash up. When he was a baby he always cried while I was washing up and it pissed me right off. And cheerios: rolly, sticky fuckers.
Milk. Argh! The sight of that stuff ANYWHERE other than a sippy cup makes my blood pressure explode. It's a flipping biohazard.
Postman Pat. Used to love it, but now find myself muttering "for God's sake Pat" a lot. How hard is it to deliver a parcel that hasn't been chewed by several different animals?

"Dollius01

Yes, and why do they always have to walk right in front of you so you trip over them?"

Yes! ...downstairs, incredible slowly, in front of you, when you're trying to answer the door to a parcel courier before they leave you a red card and take your package away to be lost forever. Argh!!

Being poked in the face
Sharp elbows in my tummy
Ds moving into my place in a nano second if I move
Wee on the loo seat
Toothpaste spit welded to the sink
Rubbish, left every where
All the packed lunch food for the week eaten in one sitting
Changing the channel to a cartoon then leaving the room
Accusatory screaming that the wifi isn't working WHYYYYYY ISNT IT WORKING?
Being expected to give a lift, in rush hour, to the other side of town because he's just arranged it and needs to go NOW!
Every single iPhone charger and plug gone, never to reappear

I love them both a lot though

Being kicked in the chest whilst changing nappies / having a toddler hand thrust down my top and pinching my nips fgs!

Toddler going up/down stairs at the pace of a chuffing glacier. Dodgy hip left over from pregnancy making it painful to just pick her up and move her when I can stand it no longer.

Cleaning food off the floor 10,000 times a day.

Toddler refusing to go into the high chair/car seat/trolley and all the shenanigans that follow.

Never having the time / peace to do anything with 100% of my attention (cooking, cleaning, having a shower!).

Waking up in the middle of the night with a cbeebies theme tune stuck in my head. Last night DP started singing 'melody' just as he was drifting off to sleep, it was quite amusing to be honest

Flowerpower41 - you sound so much like me I had a moment of existential confusion where I wondered if I had namechanged, posted your comment, and then forgotten.

Swirlingasong - I would loooove to watch your chef test cooking show. It would be riveting must-see tv If anyone on this thread happens to be in tv production PLEASE make this happen. Please?

jollyfrenchy - oh good God yes! Being handed rubbish is one of the most annoying things ever.

I have been reading out various posts on this thread to DH. His response was "So, mumsnet is basically a support group then?".

"mummy!!! bogey!!!!" As I'm driving down the motorway.

Fighting over me, toddler 2 "my mummy!" Followed by toddler 1,"No! My mummy!!!"

Doing a supermarket shop and walking past those silly car rides that swallow pound coins for 30 secs of amusement. No we can't even enter the bloody building without having a tantrum and that's before I've even attempted to put one of them in the trolley.

Trying to cook tea without said toddlers wanting to watch/help. No dears you can't help, because I want to eat this side of midnight.

Anything with that Justin CBeebies bloke.

Rain, which means I can't boot them into the garden and wave at them from the kitchen window whilst they play on bikes and wear themselves out.

Having to have exactly the correct cup/bowl/cutlery combination for that meal. Silly mummy, we use that spoon at bwekfast!

Being made to look and smell a poo in the loo. Being made to show a poo in a nappy to a proud toddler in exchange for him letting me wipe his arse.

Fucking bubbles. They just tip the mixture on the floor, or throw a fit cos they can't make bubbles and get me to do it.

Swings.

The interruptions. On average every five minutes. Driving me spare!
The constant chatter of pre-schoolers. My OH is away much of the time, so they talk at me. OH brought me back some industrial strength ear protectors from his work - sanity savers!
The pointless food prep and inevitable waste of same food. Next door's chooks are very fat from our scraps.

Thanks for this thread, I thought I may have been being harsh on the kids, but probably just being too harsh on myself!

The inability to walk from A to B without feet dragging / having to balance on an edge / follow a crack on the pavement / jump over a drain.

The noise - DH can't understand that I get annoyed if he puts the tv or music on immediately after bedtime - j just need to enjoy the silence for a bit first!

The inane requests that you oblige to cos it's not worth the argument / tantrum I.e mummy you walk that way, I walk this way / letting 3yo DS do things 'by mines self' when it takes 3 X as long / not that cup/bowl/etc - that one' / cut it this way not that way...

Eating ice lollies with no sense of urgency. "Muuuummy, it's dripping!" Well of course it bloody is. You've been standing staring at it for the last 15 minutes!

Fantastic thread.

The fact that even when I'm alone (rare) out shopping and I hear 'muuum' I think it's ds! Never switch off.

The touching/fidgeting/never sitting still/constant chatter has actually driven me slightly insane. I'm sure this is temporary and I will look back at this time with rose tinted specs on.

The bathroom. Let's draw out brushing our teeth, at bedtime, for as long as is humanly possible.

The random questions. I'm so glad Google exists.