The cute --weird-- rituals/jokes you do with your DP...

[YouBetterWerk]

Here are just a few of the personal little in jokes and rituals we have, but the more I think about it the less I think other couples have them!

1. Puffins. Obsessed with them. Don't know where it came from, but we have notepads, cards, nicknames, all surrounding these bloody Puffins.
2. 'Sunday Morning Face' - The blank excited stare, pushed right up against my face every Sunday morning.
3. 'Bobble Hat Song' - Every time we see someone with a bobble hat on, we sing a song. I would post the lyrics but it is copyright.
4. 'Stair Necessities' - Here we have a song we sing to the tune of 'Bare Necessities' every time I go up the stairs to bed. He will also change the lyrics to reflect what we've done that day, giving it that lovely personal touch.

This is just a small example, there are dozens more. We are both grown adults.

I asked my hairdresser about hers the other day and she looked at me like I was crazy and said 'Sometimes I guess we say goodbye in a funny way'

Please reassure me it's not just us!

Another one I remembered, whenever one of us has a phallic vegetable to hand while cooking we have to gently frot the other's bottom with it. No speaking, no smiling or laughing - it has to be as creepy and furtive as possible.

This thread pleases me greatly :o

When I'm driving and someone lets me out, DH will always raise his hand in thanks, as if he's a driving instructor or something. It used to drive me batshit crazy, but now I thank everyone who lets him through with a flamboyant (almost nazi style) wave of thanks.

Dry humping while cooking or doing the fire. In fairness that's normally me as DH is very prim about such matters and endures my humping with a face.

One of the dogs calls DH "grandad" as well. She is very bouncy and I accompany her excitement with a chorus of "grandad, grandad, I looove you" :o

We randomly speak to each other in various accents.

When we play Call of Duty together we get really competitive and call each other buttface, cuntychops etc.

Rating each others burps.

Making up songs together about totally mundane things.

We're usually totally ridiculous and really awkward, we can't even have sex without spending about an hour laughing at each other, insulting each other and being stupid beforehand. But we know each others weak spot - if I call him honeybun he loves it, and when he calls me 'bach' - Welsh term of endearment meaning 'little one' - my heart goes all melty.

Oh and we try to sneakily grab each others bums in public to embarrass each other as much as possible

I'm working through this thread very slowly, dipping into it, like a box of posh chocolates. It's hilarious.

We have loads, I'm sure, that would look weird as fuck from the outside; but they're so much part of 'normal' life now that I can't think of any ...

Oh, but we do a lot of Father Ted shouting 'Feck/Drink/Women' etc if someone on the telly shouts, or one of us says something and it comes out too loud.

We still occasionally do the 'that's you, that is' thing from Newman and Baddiel a hundred years ago.

HellKitty, we too do the 'How about now?' within a couple of seconds of saying 'no'. thing.

And growl 'Murder' in either Taggart-style Glaswegian or a dreadful Noo Yoik accent: 'Myda!'

We burp competitively and applaud or denigrate each other's efforts.

ah yes Newman and Baddiel/Mary Whitehouse Experience is often quoted here too, along with the Fast Show, league of Gentlemen and Alan Partridge.

Yes, Norbert, us too – well not Alan Partridge (I've never really got him) but the others all the time.

We also give a running commentary on telly programmes and supply our own stupid vastly superior dialogue.

He's just come over behind me, read 'Chat' here and is all 'look at you with your funny chat site being chatted up by hunks in trunks' then walked away with his shorts under his arse.

I've thought of another one, an annual ritual ..... the first day of the year that DP wears shorts I have to say to him "ooh, come here a minute DP, you have some bits of cotton hanging from the bottom of your shorts....oops, my mistakes, it's actually your legs"

In our house, if someone starts a sentence with 'do you know...' it's a race for the response 'no, but if you hum it, I'll play it'. We were waiting for partner to finish his dinner once and he exaggeratedly cut his last piece of food into tinier pieces until the children were hysterical. They still ask him to do it.

We spot nuns on holiday..points for each one .I can't remember how this started.We occasionally
Priest spot too.Got very excited in Rome by a pin up calendar of young good looking priests(I kid you not)Fully dressed of course(or wouldn't have known they were priest) Have never seen a nun calendar though
When approaching DH I sometimes mumur in his ear 'Havent I seen you onTV' (he used to be a journalist and a couple of times many moons ago he did appear on TV)Makes him
laugh every time

When we sneeze we like to come up with as many 'ch' words as possible ie/ A-chicken! A-chips! A-cheese!

magimedi and honeydragon DP and I have the pinch punch first day of the month competition too. I ALWAYS won until DD was born last year, and now I am so exhausted and distracted that he gets me every bloody month!

DH and I race to popper/button the most poppers/buttons on the duvet cover when we are putting the clean sheets back on the bed. Whilst stuffing the duvet in, we both start grinning like loons in anticipation of the upcoming 'competition' and proceed to giggle madly whilst poppering. When DH is away with work and I've changed the sheets on my own, I'll do the poppers up and then text him to tell him "my win" (a kiddism of our children from when they used to say "my" instead of "I"). He then sends me a cross face smiley. This has been going on for almost 16 years now

God, this sounds so silly!

We also have a few phrases and things that we say to each other. I can't possible divulge what they are!

This thread is great! We also have loads of stupid nonsense going on over here. We have two dogs, one 6 year old and one 2 year old and a 6 month old baby. The running gag is that the youngest dog and the baby are texting each other all the time. The older dog is always telling them off for texting when they are in the same house. The texts are always pretty elaborate - well it amuses us!

Generally not between me and DH although my mum, sister and i have a whole raft.

For example, If we see eccentric mad looking lady or man 'I didn't know your mother/father/sister was coming'. Definitely not one to try out on friends.

Maintaining staring eye contact when we do 'cheers' - it's rude not to make eye contact but somewhere along the line it became 'seven years of bad sex if you don't'. And we've spread it amongst our friends. So not exactly just between the two of us any more.

We think we're hilarious (me, mum and sister). Tellingly, no-one else in the world feels the same.

Also, bum bongoes are currency. So if I want him to do something he doesn't want to (go to the shop for me, let me squeeze a spot) I'll offer him the bum bongoes in return. He then gets to slap my arse cheeks in the manner of a bongo player for a minute.

Just remembered another few!

If DH is walking up the stairs and I happen to be behind him, I will propel him up the stairs with my head on his butt.

Neither of us can say 'around the outside' without saying it three times, like the Eminem song that starts with the lyrics, "two trailer park girls go round the outside..."

If we ever happen to hear the theme song from Friends (can't remember who sang it...was it The Rembrandts?) then we have to drop whatever we are doing to clap along to the clappy bit

If one of us is trying to attract the attention of the other from across a distance, we'll re-enact the scene from Alan Partridge when he's in a car park and shouting "Dan!" at ever increasing volume.

If we are both in a room together, we'll sometimes pretend that there's no room at all and have to squeeze past one another really tightly!

When DD was a toddler she read the words on DH's Calvin Klein boxers as Chucklevision - so CKs are always Chucklevision pants. Which explains why DH has just done a mad dance getting dressed for work singing the Chucklevision theme tune with gusto (with me joining in the song, of course).

We play a furtive groping game in supermarkets. A bit like tit cricket, he is in the lead with a crotch grope in Waitrose!
For some long forgotten reason, we often ask each other "Mit käse?" (with cheese?) The only accepted answer is "Ja ja! Mit Käse!"
Neither of us speak German.
My boobs are called lefty and right, they make honking noises.
Whenever my DP is naked, he will do muscle man poses (despite his belly. ) I gasp and grab at him like I can't help myself.
We have a future dog called Branston. We tell each other all about the adventures of Branston.
We have a sucky fish kiss and a secret handshake that is really long and impractical. It's to identify each other if we get cloned.

Those of you who bum pinch or grope in public, do you ever get the wrong person? Once, in the video shop I sidled up to DH and pinched his bum, but it wasn't him And to make it worse, DH watched me do this from the other side of the shop, in horror!

We also had a ritual when we went swimming, we had to race each other to get changed and in the pool, last one in is a "custard". On our honeymoon, I beat DH into the pool in the very naice hotel, I then saw him appear from the changing room and called over to him "YOU'RE A CUSTARD". Unfortunately it wasn't DH but as I and the not-a-custard stranger were the only people in the pool, it was really embarrasing.

These are sweet :) we have atupid names for things that have us in hysterics but I'm not repeating because im to embarrassed haha x

Psychobabble

Chanting - Say it, say it, say it, say it!!

"ooh, come here a minute DP, you have some bits of cotton hanging from the bottom of your shorts....oops, my mistakes, it's actually your legs"

Haha I am so going to use this one this year

If we see eccentric mad looking lady or man 'I didn't know your mother/father/sister was coming'.

We say "Don't fancy yours much".

I love this thread