My lovely silly dh was not my first h either. but it is hard to define the difference between things like this being lovingly done, or not. My X and I had coded remarks, which at the time I would have said were the same as these things, but after getting away, I realise those remarks were more passive aggressive or even emotional abuse. (Being flung both ways, mind you, not just him to me). Which is why it is so easy to suddenly find yourself in a deep mess, you think you know what is happening, until you realise you were mis-reading everything.
But this has reminded me of another thing: GHT and BHT (Good Husband Things and Bad Husband Thing). Also GWT/BWT (W = wife, obviously).
Pretty much as it sounds, he would do something, and I would say it was a GHT, meaning he should keep it in mind for the future, for example: making coffee in the morning. Or, maybe i said would take out the rubbish before leaving the house, but then didnt, when He got home to a smelly house, he might say I did a BWT. It was a very uneventful, no big deal, not nagging or critical way to sort expectations, standards, limits on everything from housekeeping to sex. It was a shorthand way of defining small details of how each of us hoped the little tasks of living together would or wouldnt happen, or opening a conversation about a big issue. This makes it sound like we used it constantly, it was more a low volume but consistent habit.
We adopted it from a couple I knew, though we added the wife side. With them, it was all her directing him, and honestly it seemed unbalanced and controlling! The first time of my dh did something innocuous and then asked GHT or BHT?, it was a joke after spending a day with them. But, then it became a useful thing for the first couple of years.