I actually posted this on the cheeky thread but I think it has a place here too.
When I was a student I was living with a guy who was pretty feckless. He was a creative type who didn't see why he should have to work, especially as I was working, despite the fact I didn't really earn enough to support us both. Things reached breaking point with us and he was offered a job abroad for a year which he decided to take.
At the time, we were living in a rented flat and I couldn't get out of the contract so he invited his brother to stay while he was away (without consulting me). I was pissed off that he hadn't asked me but I got on OK with the brother and was relieved that I'd be getting money towards rent and bills as exDP told me his brother had agreed it.
Brother moved in and was commuting back and forth to London for work, but he'd meet me every day and we'd go to the supermarket to buy dinner. For the first week, he'd either make an excuse when we got to the tills - 'Oh, I've spent so much money today, would you mind getting this?' (obviously he expected me to cook too). Or he'd just disappear saying he had to go and get something, then reappear after I'd gone through the checkout all disappointed and apologising for not being there when I paid. Funnily enough, he never offered any money, just said he'd buy me a takeaway next time.
I got wise to this after a few days and would make sure I either didn't meet him after work or made a point of buying only my own food, to which he huffed and puffed and passive-aggressively whined about being skint. Yeah, tell me about it, I'm doing a 40 hour week at minimum wage while writing my dissertation, mate. He refused to pay any money for bills, borrowed my mobile phone if I made the mistake of leaving it lying around, and when I eventually asked him for money towards rent he refused, saying that it wasn't fair because the bed in the spare room was smaller than he was used to. So I said he had to find somewhere else to live. He kicked up massively, calling me stingy and spent days in a strop.
After about a week he found somewhere else to live, but made a point of saying he would move out while I was at work. This rang alarm bells so I made sure I would be at home, only to find him helping himself to food from my fridge to take with him to his new flat along with some of my bedding, towels and kitchenware. I saw him loading it into boxes and confronted him, only to have him start moaning about how selfish I was and he was 'only borrowing' it. Like fuck. I took it all back and a massive row ensued when he called exDP demanding he 'make' me apologise to him! Thankfully, the next day he left. But I had to throw out the pillow he'd used because he was a skanky bastard who never washed his hair and the stains wouldn't come out. I also found out that he'd been stealing from a bottle of Stolichnaya I had in the freezer which I'd been given as a present - it was nearly completely water which he'd topped the bottle up with so I didn't notice.
To cap it all, I'd got exDP a phone on my account which he ran up £600 worth of bills on then tried to get out of paying. I made him pay it. About six months after we split up (which unsurprisingly wasn't too long after brother-gate), he phoned me at work and begged me to lend him money. I said no and asked him when he planned to pay me back all the other money he'd borrowed. He went quiet. I hung up. Never heard from him again.