Tell me about the most jaw dropping OMG moment you've ever witnessed...

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Because everyone's got a story! And here is mine...

I was on a bus recently, quite a full bus. A wheelchair in the wheelchair space, one lady with a pram (unfoldable I think) in the buggy space. Bus pulled up at a bus stop, where two ladies are waiting with pushchairs, chatting to each other.

One lady gets on, parks her pushchair into the remaining buggy space. The second lady tries to get on, but the bus driver won't let her as the buggy space is now full. She asks the lady with the pram to get off the bus so she can travel with her friend. 'Pram lady' looks at her askance, and says sorry, but she needs to get home. Both pushchair ladies then proceed to loudly and verbally abuse the pram lady for being selfish and not getting off the bus, so they can travel together.

Everyone else on the bus was stunned into silence, the bus driver throws both pushchair ladies off the bus and drives off. Pushchair ladies stand at bus stop yelling and shaking fists at the receding bus!

I've never known so many bus passengers strike up conversation all at once, making sure the 'pram lady' was ok, and generally saying 'what a pair!'

Oh another one, driving through town and two blokes in money suits are running down the high street pretty much bashing everyone out the way (it was early evening) one was shouting "ooh ooh i black monkey" the other shouting "ooh ooh i white monkey" absolutely pissing themselves laughing then ran off down towards the sea front i looked everywhere thinking I'd see cameras for a hidden camera show but i didn't see any.

A lady walking along the street, messy hair, mis matched outfit with literally RED circles drawn on her cheeks like clowns do and blue eye shadow up to her eyebrows pulling along one of them shopping things and holding an empty asda carrier bag. Suddenly just stopped, pulled up her skirt, weed in the bag then carried on walking with a piss filled Asda bag!

A bloke in the local Tesco express clearly stealing stuff, stuffed two cheeses down his trousers and then grabbed a bag of maltesers and put them in the front of his jacket (had pockets on the front) right in front of the manager, clearly a manager to with the stripey shirt and huge name badge. She confronts him and says she knows he is stealing and she'll call the police he just goes, "fine i don't like it in here anyway!!" throws all the stuff on the floor next to bemused manager then fucks off running out the shop. :S

I'm sure I have more, there's always weird stuff happening in this town!

Walking down down the Main Street in hackney and what do I see but a woman lift the back of her dress up exposing her naked bum, no knickers, and out pours a great long stream of wee, she finishes and walks off.

Another one, there used to be an elderly man who used to walk around the North London area : finsbury park, stoke newington etc wearing a white wedding dress and veil - and a long white beard!

Years ago we were having a drink after work. A rather elderly and portly lady creaked down the stairs in a raincoat, carrying and old 1980s style ghetto blaster and walked slowly to the table next to us. Yup, she was a stripogram (or rather stripogran). It was just so sad. She pulled off the coar and had fishnet stockings, french knickers, cami top - the whole shebang.

The whole place just stopped and gawped. Everyone found fascinating spots on the carpet.

The worst was once she had done her sexy dance she pulled on her coat and made the slowest exit, huffing and puffing back up the stairs, pausing to sigh/deep breathe/cough as she went.

Oh I have another one. When I was 9 I was lucky enough to go on a family holiday to Florida. On the flight over there was a bomb scare. Someone had left a mobile phone at the back of the plane and they were very concerned that it was a bomb. They took all our blankets and pillows to put around it to try and contain the blast if it went off.

The plane was redirected to Boston and we were met by a fleet of fire engines and ambulances. It was very frightening and my poor mum , who was not very mentally well anyway, was physically sick for most of the holiday from the stress.

I remember everyone on the plane telling each other they loved each other and the stewardesses repeatedly going through the safety demonstrations so we would all be prepared.

I used to work as a pensions administrator and ran an AVC scheme for a massive supermarket chain.

I took a call from a worried checkout cashier, who told me she'd been caught taking money out the till that morning and had been dismissed. She was extremely concerned that the supermarket chain would reimburse themselves from her pension fund, I was gobsmacked and didn't know how to handle the call.... I think I transferred her to my manager.

My Saturday job as a teen was in Greggs. I think it was the Easter holidays as I was in on a week day. One regular customer had special needs and usually came in with his elderly mother. But this day he had a list. So I was serving him when he turned round to the line of postmen standing waiting to be served (the delivery office was up the road and my dad was manager), and grabs the poor blokes ears and starts telling him how cute they are. Poor postie has a bright red face and doesn't know what to do. I tell Ronnie to leave the man alone and stop touching his ears. "But Groovee, they're so cute and I want to touch them!" Is the reply. I explain that he can't just walk up to people and touch them as it's invading their personal space. He accepts what I am saying with a glum look, pays and heads off.

Off course the posties are taking great delight in slagging off their colleague! My dad asks me later on what happened and does his usual. He walked up to the poor postie and touched his ears the way I said Ronnie had .

Another postie found out who my dad was when I asked a postie I knew to deliver a cake to my dad as a wee treat. Had known the guy for years as a child. The other postie hassles him all the way up the road as to who my dad is and his face is a picture. He keeps telling everyone the next day. So fast forward about 6 months. Postie comes in on 1st April and asks what I had told my dad. Had no idea but did point out the date to him. Turns out my dad hauled him up over the fact the manager of greggs has given me your description and the fact that you trashed the cakes the day before because it was minestrone soup! I didn't speak to my dad for days for that one!

Not really OMG but toe-curlingly embarrassing.

I was on the mats at the gym, stretching, and found myself watching a middle aged man on some other mats. He was doing the weirdest pelvic circling and hip thrusting routine I'd ever seen in front of the mirror.

I caught the eye of the lady next to me and we both looked at the man and smiled. I whispered to her "if that's what he does in public imagine what he does in the privacy of his own home!"

The smile fell from her face and she said in a quiet, hurt voice "that's my husband."

20 minutes ago. Teenage girl in M74 service station in pjs, slippers and a fluffy dressing gown.

Sitting in the back of a taxi-minibus in southern Cyprus. Driver is driving like a maniac weaving in and out of small children playing on a village street.

A chorus of anguished voices in English and Greek screaming 'Be careful - children are playing!'
Taxi driver - "It all right, they not my children."

Watching the London marathon a few years ago. At the red start, amongst all the fairies, rhinos, clowns etc ran a man wearing nothing but a pair of trainers, some body paint, a leopard skin thong and a tail.

My most surreal London moment was on the central line - coming back from a meeting at about 3pm and heading into Bank. A man in a full gimp outfit came onto nearly empty carriage with the ball in his mouth, face covered in a mask. Just stood next to me, while I sat in my city work stuff, mid afternoon.

Reminds me of the guy in this picture.

Love the way none of the other passengers are even bothering to look at him.

A few years ago I went to the loo in a bar, there was no one else in the outside bit of toilet but somebody was banging on the door of a cubicle like they were locked in.
Using a coin, I undid the door and pushed it open, there was a guy standing there with his pants round his ankles pissed out of his brain covered in vomit and he had shit and pissed himself! He made a lunge towards me to her out of the cubicle but forgetting his trousers were around his ankles fell straight on his face.

It was so disgusting I ran out and told the bar staff, his mates had also left him too it.

There's nowt more queer than folk.

Last year at a theme park in Devon. Two women had a full on fisty cuffs fight in the queue for the log flume!

Turns out they didn't know each other but one woman had taken a photo of other woman's 'bloke'.

I was literally stood with my mouth hanging open. There were kids crying and they were rolling round the floor.

Luckily an off duty policeman got stuck in and separated them.

Bus one...

Bus driver impatiently shut the doors just before a tiny (2 I'd say) kid could follow his mum off the bus. She was just struggling the buggy off, and let go of child's hand for a second. He was just ridiculous- lucky the kid wasn't hurt! Then proceeded to quote bus rules and regs: stop once and only at stops as he drove off (really fast) down the Uxbridge Road, fully aware he had a screaming baby on his bus and a screaming mum running to chase the bus and about 50 passengers saying "BUT IT'S A BABY! NOT A MOUTHY TEEN!" repeatedly.

Everyone immediately used their mobiles to call the complaint line. He then stopped the bus at the next stop, several people scooped up child and carried him at a jog back towards running mum to return him.
Bus driver refused to move bus on because we were "unreasonably" ringing his boss. So much for rules and regs when it suited him!

Oh I got another one. Wee related this time, no poo.

I was in my local pub which has a late licence and doormen.
From the front door there's a corridor down to main bar area with a seating/dance floor area alongside it. The corridor is slightly sloping.

I was leaving at about 2am, and stopped in the corridor to talk to a friend who was stood in the seating area. As I was talking to him I looked at the front door and noticed a woman crouched in the doorway, with one of the doormen stood over her shouting. I was just about to say to my friend "has she got no trousers on" when I realised her trousers were round her ankles and she was pissing and the piss was running down the corridor and was about 3 inches from my feet!!!!
The doorman was shouting "LJ move out the way!!!" And my friend grabbed me and yanked me into the seating area.

It turned out she had been kicked out for being drunk&disorderly and was kicking off outside because she wanted to go back in to use the toilet. When they wouldn't let her back in she decided to just go in the doorway.

Classy bird.

Remembered another one. In NZ many years ago. Late one Sunday night after watching the regular Sunday night horror movie (a NZ institution) BF and I had a bit of the wobbles so we went for a walk around the block. It was about 12:30. We walked past one house and, standing in the driveway was a man with a rifle and a dog, dressed all in black, leaning on the gatepost, peering around. We could tell it was a member of the Police Armed Offender's Squad, the only armed police unit in NZ that they bring out for the scary shit. He nodded at us and we continued walking down the street. In the next 4 driveways were more and more members of the squad, with guns and Police dogs, all calmly letting us walk past. They were all standing in absolute silence staring at a house across the street.

BF and I sprinted home and turned on the TV to check if there was standoff, but there was radio silence, not a mention at all. I sincerely hope it was a training exercise and we weren't just left to blithely walk between the police and some nutter with a gun.

Pleeeeeeaase please please no more poo / vomit / wee ones!

Don't worry hearts I'm all out of poo and wee ones!

Not as odd as some of these but I was walking home the other day. A young man aged about 21 was coming towards me on the other side of the road, with a large Alsatian dog on a lead. As the man approached I saw that he was on roller skates- fair enough, I thought, if slightly dangerous as a way of exercising your dog. However, as he came towards me he began to speed up and then skated off the pavement and began skating down the road at full speed, dog galloping along beside him. A car was coming along behind him but he didn't turn aside or stop, just carried on with the car driving slowly behind!

I was sat in the car waiting at traffic lights once, windows open. There was a man stood right by me on the pavement, I assume waiting to be picked up as he was just standing there. He made that noise like he was going to hawk up a load of gunk (ick) which made me turn to look at him in horror, as I can't bear spitting in the street. I turned right as he spat it all out (there was a lot, truly hideous), but he was obviously standing the wrong way for the wind and it all splatted straight back all over his face! Brilliant. I laughed my head off all the way to work.

My dad's OMG moment was when men were allowed time off for a child being born in the 1990's. This employee asked for time off and my dad was surprised as it had been said he was gay a number of times. My dad says "Oh I didn't know you were about to be a father?" To which the guy replies "Aye my horse is about to give birth!"

BadLad!

I remember driving round my local area in North London looking for a parking place. I passed two ladies dressed in traditional burkas. They were having an argument about something. I couldn't find a space so went slowly round the block again; as I passed them the second time they were shouting, pushing and bashing each other with their handbags.

It looked very odd.

I have a few....(brilliant thread by the way)

Sad one - mother in Boots in Barnet. Very hard stone floor. Young toodler standing up in buggy, jumping around. Toodler literally somersaults out & lands flat onback on the floor. Toddler screams - mother picks up & stuffs in the buggy & says serves you right! Poor child. It may have been really serious.

Living in no through road in north London....having friends round & realise forgotten vital ingredient. Send DH out & wait for him to get back. He returns swiftly , white as a sheet. I say that's been quick. He says faintlyiI haven't been yet. He went to the bottom of the road & a policeman with a machine gun told in no uncertain terms to get out. He abandoned the car & he was shoved around the corner where there was quite a lot more policemen about to do a raid on a place at the bottom of the road. .....