Things I still wonder why the hell I did that as a kid...

[TonytheFish]

20 years later, this still makes me wonder why I was such an odd child!

I was a bit shy granted, but still...

In 2nd year seniors, start of the new school year, new art class and teacher, everyone gets in and sits down at new desks, I was the last one in...and my spot at the table had no chair!

So, did I mention to the teacher that there was no chair! nope.

What I did, was sort of crouch down, into some fake sitting position and stay there for the entire double period! Pretending to sit! As if no one would notice...!

It is this sort of thing, that means I will never ever attend a school reunion!

We used to play a game called Auntie Margaret.

We would take it in turns to be Auntie Margaret, who would stand at the bottom of the stairs. The rest of us would go and get in bed and pretend to be asleep.

The game was that Auntie Margaret would stamp up the stairs roaring like a sergeant major, burst into the bedroom and then shout in our faces that we weren't really asleep. If you laughed, you lost the game.

At about 13 me and a friend had a mad crush on a lad who was an apprentice at the local football team. He was staying with an old couple around the corner.

We used to wait opposite the house in all weathers hoping to see him but best was when we thought that sexy dancing would have him running out to sweep us of his feet.

We must have looked like a right couple of planks, 2 13 yo girls booty shaking in our winter coats outside an old couple's house

Me and my best friend used to playfight by the side of the road, aged about 11/12 to try and make motorists think we were having a real fight If ever a car pulled over, we'd leg it behind the community centre!

Used to ring Churchill insurance from the payphone, coz it was an 0800 number and ask if the mascot dog smoked cigars!

Also once was messing around with my drink and put te glass over my mouth and made a vacuum...had to go to school the next day with a perfectly round red bruise around my mouth, like a pink goatee

Also used to write erotic literature, for persona use when I was around 13/14 and keep it between the pages of my huge Atlas. My parents donated the atlas to a charity shop when I moved out to go to uni and I'm not sure I ever removed the tender sexual awakenings of pubescent me!!!

In the infants we were having a talk on how glass was made and I turned to the girl next to me and said that I had an uncle who made glass. The teacher overheard and said that was really interesting and would he come in and tell the class all about it? I mumbled something about asking him but he was really busy and did the same thing the next 100 times the teacher asked over the next six months.

I didn't even have an uncle let alone one that made glass!!! To this day I a) have no idea why I said it and b) get hot and embarrassed at the thought of it.

Love this thread! Howling at the dressing up as French girls post.

I told people my cousin was a rugby player (I didn't even like rugby!) and that my Uncle had jumped out of a burning building. No idea why!

I made up a pet dog too, it was called Trigger...we never had a dog and no one in my family had one I could pretend was ours so he was always 'out for walks' when anyone came round!

I used to swallow stones.

I used to get to school an hour early and wait outside until the doors opened , this wasn't easy to do as I lived 15 miles away and it would take me 2 hours and 3 buses to get their so I had to go the 5.50 bus
I also thought it was 'cool' to be a school librarian

Nobody could understand a word I said as my Yorkshire accent was very broad so I just didn't bother talking to anybody the Teachers thought I was mute

Also fancied maths Teacher who happened to go on the week lo

Also fancied maths Teacher who happened to go on the week long residential trip with me and 30 other kids, I faked a panic attack at the top of a huge hill we had just climbed so he had to gold my hand for the rest of the hike

When I was six-and-a-half we moved to a newbuild housing estate that was still being built.

Over the next 2 years, at weekends me and my sis and the other kids who'd moved in played on the building site all day! (Late 70s - no one worked on a weekend!). We slid on sand piles, played in still-wet concrete pies, climbed up piles of stacked roof joists and made marble runs out of sharp-edged copper piping. To say nothing of drinking out of the taps installed for cement water!

I'm luckily still alive!

I crashed a milk float.
When we were about 6 or 7 we had a lovely milkman who would let us ride on his float, he was delivering to one house, and my neighbour dared me to pull a lever... It was the break. When it started moving we jumped off and ran home! The milk float crashed into a brick wall.
Sorry Geoff!

I have a bruise on my chin.

I moved cities and schools when I was 13. For some bizarre reason I told everyone I was a black belt in karate. I was soon outed when a boy I liked asked me to come along to a karate class he was thinking of joining to see if it was any good. Like a div I went and was asked to fight with another black belt - total humiliation.

Also I used to pinch frozen green beans out if the freezer, my mum caught me once and I made up an elaborate story that I was going to throw them at some boys that were outside my window. ( my bedroom overlooked the back garden) serious psychological issues there

I wonder if our kids are doing the same things we did but we just haven't noticed?

I remember in secondary school not speaking for two weeks to see if anyone noticed, they didn't. (I must've spoken sometimes for registration etc) I used to take a ribena bottle to school in my last two years and it was half ribena half whatever alcohol I could steal from my dad, I think the teachers did notice although they used to just leave me alone in the back of the class, I think they knew about my home life and just let me get away with murder because in classes with the teacher was the only time I was safe (abuse at home and bullying at school, I had no respite from it at all)
I was drunk in my maths gcse exam, I fell off my chair at one point.
I somehow managed to just pass.

When I was little I used to steal raw sausages from the fridge and eat them, I peeled the skin off though, eatin that would've been gross.

"Thought I could stand on my garden wall, and use my umbrella to fly a la Mary Poppins. The only flying I did was straight onto the floor.

Used to play a game in the phone box at the end of the road called 'talking telephone numbers' Involved us making up 0800 numbers, and seeing if we succeeded."

I did these too!

I also used to pick up crisps from the floor at playtimes and eat them.

Our favourite game was 'playing' Anne Frank We used to hide in the garage and that was about it, DM was the Nazis looking for us so had to be quiet and sneak out to 'steal' food and leave letters for the brave Dutch resistance who were helping us... This has outed me if my fellow Frank family members are here!!

And speaking of pretending to be French - my friend and I, when about 16/17, used to walk confidently into pubs chatting in French then pretend not to understand when asked for ID, in a ploy to just get let in when the bouncer couldn't speak French... It worked quite a lot!

Oh - and more chin bruise news - I once suctioned one of the green balls that you put washing liquid in the machine in, and left it there for quite some time in a pretending-to-be-an-alien game. When I eventually took it off, had the most perfect circular love bit/bruise on the end of my chin that was there for days...

Kids are so odd!

shakinsteven I too did that with a pencil sharpener. If hurt like fuck!!

Right. Away to read thread.

I went to the shop with pegs attached to my t shirt where my nipples were

I wasn't even dared to do it, I just thought it would be cooly eccentric

yolo I fancied our Design Tech teacher and would deliberately leave the aprons we had to wear undone so he'd come by and tie it for me In the sixth form we were actually mates, once we all understood he was very gay and happily living with Steven!

When I was much younger I used to put crayons up my nose. Only blue ones though.

When in secondary school the cool kids all had glasses so I made my mum take me to the optician and blagged the whole way through to get glasses. Think the optician must have thought it rather strange that both the long distance and short distance lenses both made so much difference to my eyesight.

I have done a billion embarrassing things.. let's see..

I had a thing for a couple of months when I was about 7 of being utterly obsessed with wanting my own 'grown up boobs', so was often to be found tottering around in my mum's high heels with big balls of tissue paper stuck down my jumper

One of our science teachers in secondary school had severe halitosis, so naturally we nick named him DeathBreath, and sent him a packet of polos in a Valentine's day card - mortified thinking about that!

Oh, and I had this thing for practising walking down the aisle (in my rather small bedroom so would have to do several regal u-turns!) The icing on that particular cake was that I had to do it to Phil Collins' Groovy Kind of Love. Singing it, full blast.

I think I thought I'd be this breathtakingly ethereal bride with the voice of an Angel and the congregation would be suitably awestruck.

I'm pretty sure I also did with my tissue fake boobs and a net curtain on my head too.

In the 1970s, show-jumping was massively popular.

My sisters and I were all horse-mad and all had a riding lesson once a week but that was it.

We had, however, two spacehoppers. (Anyone know where this is going yet?)

We discovered that we could jump/bounce quite high on them.

And so the sport of Spacehopper Showjumping was invented.

We had a course of jumps in the garden to rival Wembley. We would say "Ding" and someone would start their round riding their favourite steed. The usual rules applied, four faults for knocking one down etc.

I am not sure whether there was a "round the clock" eliminator in case of ties or not.

I suppose The Youth Of Today have showjumping apps on their Iphones. . .

Ha ha Balloon I can sympathise...I used to do rising trot on my bike and then go 'into canter' which must have looked like I was sexing my bike!

Sometimes my bike even shied and I had to bring it under control going 'whoahah, shushhh'