Things I still wonder why the hell I did that as a kid...

[TonytheFish]

20 years later, this still makes me wonder why I was such an odd child!

I was a bit shy granted, but still...

In 2nd year seniors, start of the new school year, new art class and teacher, everyone gets in and sits down at new desks, I was the last one in...and my spot at the table had no chair!

So, did I mention to the teacher that there was no chair! nope.

What I did, was sort of crouch down, into some fake sitting position and stay there for the entire double period! Pretending to sit! As if no one would notice...!

It is this sort of thing, that means I will never ever attend a school reunion!

[QueenBean]

We used to do prank calls.... on helplines on the back of packs of crisps / bottles of coke. Except we wouldn't have the guts to say anything too outrageous so would end up asking questions like "do you have any plans to bring out multi packs of 14 bags of crisps?'. Then hanging up and losing it giggling about how we had tricked the person on the other end of the phone!

[FoxesRevenge]

Some of the fancying the teacher ones are making me cringe

[keepthechangeufilthyanimal]

Love this thread!

My friend and I used to bunk off school a lot and sit in her house making 'funny phone calls'. One day I called 'this morning' to speak on the subject 'getting married'. I spoke to a producer and told them a load of bullshit about being nervous/what if I get cold feet etc etc...lo and behold I was chosen to speak to Denise Robertson and I was live on tv talking about my pre wedding nerves( I was 13!) I couldn't even tell my family that I had been on TV that day because they would thought I had been to school.

[hootloop]

keep getting through to Denise was the holy grail of wagging it activities. I never managed it well done.

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

Aged 13 I had a massive crush on the adult son of my parent's friends. I used to buy him chocolate and presents when he came home from uni and just generally follow him around.

And I am never allowed to forget it, because I have ended up married to one of his best friends.

[maggiemight]

In P1 I got my hair tangled in my teacher's jacket button whilst reading to her. The most cringingly embarrassing moment in my life, boohoo.

[waceystills]

Keepthechange you've tipped me over the edge into hysterical laughter. The tears are rolling down my cheeks.

Thank you

Brilliant thread.

[FobblyWoof]

hootloop I did that too! (The not asking to go to the loo, not the oil killing song )

[Jbck]

I am sitting here crying at Gatekeeper's French girls and can't read any further till my eyes stop leaking.

Some of you are complete nutters!

[Adikia]

In year 9 I changed schools and was getting picked on for being a posh little goody 2 shoes so I made up loads of stories as to why I'd been expelled from the grammar, only I had to keep making the story more dramatic, by the end of it I'd convinced half the school I was some kind of master criminal, aided by my head of year who responded with 'we don't judge people by their past' I'd actually left my last school coz of bullying.

[hootloop]

We used to put salad cream on our chocolate cake on Wednesday lunchtimes in the hope we would be sick and not have to play hockey last lesson. It never worked.

[LoveVintage]

Do you remember clackers? Well, I didn't have them and really wanted them. So I tried to make my own. I took two small hollow rubber balls which we had in the house already - smothered them in vaseline (WHYYYYY?) - and got a pair of scissors to stab a hole in them through which I intended to push some string. Ended up in A & E getting my hand stitched up.

Also once I had a bottle of Cresta (strawberry flavour, I remember!) which I couldn't get the lid off. I started hitting the side of the lid off a piece of slate. Another trip to A & E ensued..

[Greenkit]

marking my space

[drudgewithagrudge]

Three of us 12 year olds with a heavy crush on the only man in our girls' school, the physics teacher, staged and expedition to his remote country cottage via 3 buses and a long walk. We were looking particularly attractive, we thought, complete with shocking pink lipstick nicked from a mother's drawer. He was bound to fall for us we thought.

We were eating our picnic when the poor man spotted us outside his house and came out and in no uncertain terms asked us what we thought we were doing. We mumbled something about going on a hike and then did our long journey in reverse still wondering why he had not succumbed to our charms.

He left the school not long after and I often wonder how he explained to his wife what three of his pupils all with shocking pink lips were doing outside their lovenest.

[HyvaPaiva]

In the school dining hall we had those long tables with individual stools attached. The boys used to run towards them holding their lunch trays and - in one sleek move - jump onto the seats, make them spin, and then stop very smoothly.

I was ten and thought I'd impress them by copying.

I thundered towards the table, I jumped, the seat spun too fast, I kept going. I flew across the dining hall. I hit the wall and slid down it like a cartoon character. As I sat there slumped and dazed, the bowl of pink sponge and custard I'd been holding throughout plopped onto my head.

[OutOfCigarettes]

We used to crush polos into fine dust and snort them!

I spent a whole day with a huge bandage round my hand saying I'd sliced it open on a corned beef can-I had a paper cut!

[TonytheFish]

Oh, when I was about 7 I decided to colour my entire face in my Mams lipstick! No idea why! Just felt like it!

Then tried to wash it off, and deny I had done so, even though, my face was still rather red from said lipstick, and a bit raw from me trying to scrub it off. I looked like I had gone for a chemical peel! I had lipstick in my hairline for days!

[shouldnthavesaid]

I did have one teacher - a female, no less - who I had a bit of an odd crush on at 17. She was my maths teacher and for a year my homework was written in pink pen with all the Is dotted with wee hearts.. And smiley faces.. And messages to her.. Covered my face in cheap make up and perfume..

That poor woman got a card from me, a postcard, two visits after leaving school, was told a few 'secrets' .. She must have thought I was a bit sad - everyone else did - she was in general despised by the rest of her pupils. She did actually stop some of the bullying I got (excluded someone for sexual harassment that she witnessed), helped me pass my exams and was hugely supportive when I had awful stuff happening. I used to go and see her for no reason at all.

She was always very nice except when I asked for her contact details on leaving school but I don't think I could face seeing her again without feeling very embarrassed.

In hindsight I didn't 'fancy' her, I loved her as I would a female relative. Just wanted to impress her and sort of wanted her to look after me I think - which in a way she did.

My friends mercilessly took the piss - when I was off ill they said they'd give the teacher 'my love' and used to call my visits 'cosy cuddles in the classroom' ..

[soontobeslendergirl]

When I was about 9 or 10, i really wanted a birthday party so I told some girls in the class I was having one at my house and they all got dressed up and brought me presents......there was no party! I even walked one of the girls from her house to mine knowing there was no party happening - I had a brass neck clearly!

I got a pussy willow stuck up my nose as I wanted to see how fluffy it felt inside....