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Original poster

To kick these people out?

999 replies

CompletePushover · 10/01/2014 18:24

7 yrs and this is my first AIBU, and I'm so cowardly I've name changed Grin

So... After years of renting crappy places dh, the 4dcs and I have finally bought a lovely house.

It's great. Needs loads of work doing on it. Lots of potential, completely neglected and now ours. The people who had it before us had some problems and had criminally neglected their animals. The house comes with a field.

Now begins the lovely story. A few years ago Some people passing by saw how neglected the horse in the field was and took it upon themselves to look after it. They did amazing things, built him a shelter, bought him food, trimmed his hooves, all of it.

The horse is a stallion and unbroken but of nice temperament. But it means he can be flighty.

Move on a year and one of the group has taken on most of the care and bought their own horse who now lives rent free in the field.

Two weeks before completion the owner tells us we will be inheriting a cat and that the horses are staying (he's gifted the stallion to the other horse owner)

So... We panicked until lovely horse person came to our door and seemed very nice, and we said they could stay until Easter and then we'd see (rent free).

This all seemed ok, but there have been annoyances: There's no where else to park but in our drive, when we want to wander around the field with the dcs we have to struggle through two horses and it's a nightmare, and now finally we have bought out longed for dog and I can't walk him on my field without someone with me because I can't carry a baby and a puppy and fend off the horses on my own, in December we were told they use one of our sheds for feed, And there are other people who are part of the group who have not introduced themselves to me, but who go on to my field regularly.

So this evening we've let the horse owner know that beyond the end of march we want our field back. At the moment I've used it twice since we moved in and I want to use it daily.

They're not happy. I tell a lie, one is not happy, the other is completely understanding.

I know they did a good thing, I know they put work into the field (shelter and fencing) but I also know they've had free pasture for 18 months in return, and I think it's become a picnic spot for them all.

AIBU? And should I be growing a backbone, because I'm already trying to think of a way to section off some of it, which I know would only end up delaying the inevitable? I'm also worried because I'm in no way insured to have this all going on on my property.

I want nice things for the people who have done good, but at the same time I want to enjoy my home. I also have PND and desperately want to be outside but can't cope with being around people. Just to throw that in there.

OP posts:
Pixel · 10/01/2014 22:12

But the horse owner only got free grazing for her horse because she was 'looking after' the stallion. Shows how much she really cared about it if she dumps it as soon as the freebies dry up.

Meerka · 10/01/2014 22:13

A lockable gate does sound a really good idea ...

Pixel · 10/01/2014 22:15

Plus that would make her a massive hypocrite for using emotional blackmail saying it would have to be put down etc.

TalkativeJim · 10/01/2014 22:16

Um, no your field will NOT be their private park in the summer - because they will be long gone!! Yes, OP?!

It's worrying that you're thinking like that. And after hearing the situation with her shouting at your DH - fuck it, the party would be over as far as I'm concerned.

Don't take this on yourself- you're not well enough. Will your DH get tough? Date you want them out by. No parking. No dogs on your property. No trespassing of any kind. Any more of the above and you will want them off the land with immediate effect. They have until end Feb. and yes, you are both LIVID at being screamed at by someone whose horses you are effectively paying for, and you want them to know that. In spades.

Sharaluck · 10/01/2014 22:20

I know all the arguments but I think in reality the horse carer will have trouble finding new homes for 2 horses, particularly the stallion as previous posters have said it will be hard to find a place that will accept the unbroken stallion.

So I suspect the op will be left with the stallion. That is all.

And I think the op was foolish to not have sorted this out BEFORE buying, so she is responsible. She went into the agreement with her eyes open and she has continued the arrangement for the past 18(?) months.

Sharaluck · 10/01/2014 22:26

As I've said I've never bought a house, but what is so hard about saying to the owner, "the stallion and cat need to be completely gone before I buy."

What is so hard about saying this BEFORE the sale is finalised Confused?

Then everyone knows where they stand.

Op brought this on herself.

allibaba · 10/01/2014 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lolalocket · 10/01/2014 22:39

YANBU Infact you are being infinitely more reasonable than I would have been. I would have absolutely refused to close on the house until the field and shed had been completely vacated.
I think by agreeing to allow them to remain you are potentially in a very difficult to resolve situation and you could be left with the stallion.
I hope I'm wrong for your sake as you seem like a lovely person.

RenterNomad · 10/01/2014 23:05

Sorry to come back so late and to hark back, but I think you had the answer with geese! CompletePushover, you are the goose who lays the golden eggs, so all you have to do is threaten to get into a high position and shit one out on their heads! Gold is heavy. Grin

Seriously, though, heavy is what you need. Get a solicitor to help you resolve this. Screaming at you/DH is so not on (especially with the PND!) that the civil action may need criminal backup (harassment charges, trespassing, etc.) as well. You may be able to raise a MN flashmob to patrol, too! We're with you! Smile

BerylStreep · 10/01/2014 23:06

Sharaluck the OP said earlier that the vendors were extremely old & vulnerable, so I can understand her not being kickass about it.

This has been such a fascinating thread. I have absolutely no knowledge of horses (townie).

UncleT · 10/01/2014 23:13

My neck is sore from nodding in agreement reading TalkativeJim's post. Right on the money.

Sharaluck · 10/01/2014 23:18

I don't buy that argument beryl. When you purchase something as important as a house you can't make allowances for "old and vulnerable vendors" and then 18 months later claim no responsibility for the mess that they left you!

Op needs to take responsibility as she didn't sort this out to begin with. As I said earlier I think the horse carers should/will take their own horse but she will be left with sorting out the stallion. And I think that responsibility is fair as she went into this with her eyes open and has continued the horse arrangements for the past 18 months. This stallion has lived in field for how long? It is clearly it's home.

aderynlas · 10/01/2014 23:21

Good luck with this op. You have been very kind and i hope this is resolved quickly for you. Think you are probably not that far from where i live. Theres some good advice on this thread, hope you enjoy your land with the dc and puppy very soon xx

GatoradeMeBitch · 10/01/2014 23:28

Even if the stallion does stay, if the Op decides to keep it, she could fence off a piece of land and take care of it. But then she wouldn't have to worry about people parking in her drive, and dogs, and whatever else.

Original poster
CompletePushover · 10/01/2014 23:42

Thanks everyone, shara, the second horse was brought into the land 18 months ago, we've been there 3 months (sorry for the confusion).

The house was a bargain due to its state, the owners had severe difficulties and we were not in a state to have the most straightforward of demands made of them. As it was it took a long time to complete and I had a newborn moving in. It's been a busy time. But no matter what the purchase, I will always make allowances for vulnerable people. If I lose something then so be it. It's the right thing to do.

The horse owner very much sees the stallion as hers, if it was left to us that would not be what was best for the horse and I don't think that will happen. If it does we will deal with it. I may even have a couple of options if it came to that, but I'm not offering them to the owners. At least if I was left with only the stallion I would have control back.

It's probably very alien to lots of people all of this :) this isn't a "horsey" area, this is a farmy area where lots of people have horses. There is a subtle difference.

I don't want to be taken advantage of, but I think that's something that hasn't happened deliberately.

Aderynlas, you could well be right.

OP posts:
Pixel · 10/01/2014 23:58

Sadly it's not as easy as 'fencing off a piece of land'. Old horses need a lot of care. There's teeth rasping twice a year, feet to be trimmed, plenty of food that's easily digestible to keep weight on or strip grazing to keep weight off depending on horse!, worming, maybe rugs depending on breed/condition, maybe it needs medication for cushings (which many old horses have), maybe it needs painkillers (bute) for arthritis. The field and shelter will have to be kept clean to prevent associated health problems (a never-ending task). Not to mention the fact that if the other horse goes the stallion will be very unhappy on its own.

Pixel · 11/01/2014 00:00

Sorry that was to GatoradeMeBitch.

Original poster
CompletePushover · 11/01/2014 00:03

That's a good summary for me to keep in mind pixel :)

OP posts:
Sharaluck · 11/01/2014 00:04

Good luck op.

Hopefully they all leave without a fuss, but I doubt this will happen somehow. Lesson learned for all future home-buyers, sort out all unusual "arrangements" before finalising the purchase.

aderynlas · 11/01/2014 00:11

All the best op, you need to put your own health and happiness first now. These people are lucky that you have been so tolerant for so long.

PedantMarina · 11/01/2014 01:10

NigellasDealer - surely it would be a sheep floss?

MsAspreyDiamonds · 11/01/2014 05:18

Print off a list of stables, fields & farms nearby with a letter from youe solicitor. The first half an hour is free so it is worth getting legal advice.

MadIsTheNewNormal · 11/01/2014 05:39

My goodness, YANBU at all! You have been beyond fair and accommodating, and it should have been down to the previous owner to deal with all of this before he moved out.

I don't know how big the field is but if it's large enough you could consider sectioning part of it off and renting it to them, or if you'd prefer not to them just stick to your guns. Either way they are being very U indeed to expect you to continue the arrangement for nothing.

saintmerryweather · 11/01/2014 06:33

You are really NBU here they are. Theyve had a good run of luck being able to keep their horses for free but what happens to them is not your problem. If the horse has to be pts well thats not the worst thing that could happen to it

Kytti · 11/01/2014 06:51

Your land, your rules. If you want them off, just tell them to get out. I'm guessing there's nothing in writing, you've been more than fair. It doesn't matter if you want to use it or not. It's YOURS.