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To kick these people out?

999 replies

CompletePushover · 10/01/2014 18:24

7 yrs and this is my first AIBU, and I'm so cowardly I've name changed Grin

So... After years of renting crappy places dh, the 4dcs and I have finally bought a lovely house.

It's great. Needs loads of work doing on it. Lots of potential, completely neglected and now ours. The people who had it before us had some problems and had criminally neglected their animals. The house comes with a field.

Now begins the lovely story. A few years ago Some people passing by saw how neglected the horse in the field was and took it upon themselves to look after it. They did amazing things, built him a shelter, bought him food, trimmed his hooves, all of it.

The horse is a stallion and unbroken but of nice temperament. But it means he can be flighty.

Move on a year and one of the group has taken on most of the care and bought their own horse who now lives rent free in the field.

Two weeks before completion the owner tells us we will be inheriting a cat and that the horses are staying (he's gifted the stallion to the other horse owner)

So... We panicked until lovely horse person came to our door and seemed very nice, and we said they could stay until Easter and then we'd see (rent free).

This all seemed ok, but there have been annoyances: There's no where else to park but in our drive, when we want to wander around the field with the dcs we have to struggle through two horses and it's a nightmare, and now finally we have bought out longed for dog and I can't walk him on my field without someone with me because I can't carry a baby and a puppy and fend off the horses on my own, in December we were told they use one of our sheds for feed, And there are other people who are part of the group who have not introduced themselves to me, but who go on to my field regularly.

So this evening we've let the horse owner know that beyond the end of march we want our field back. At the moment I've used it twice since we moved in and I want to use it daily.

They're not happy. I tell a lie, one is not happy, the other is completely understanding.

I know they did a good thing, I know they put work into the field (shelter and fencing) but I also know they've had free pasture for 18 months in return, and I think it's become a picnic spot for them all.

AIBU? And should I be growing a backbone, because I'm already trying to think of a way to section off some of it, which I know would only end up delaying the inevitable? I'm also worried because I'm in no way insured to have this all going on on my property.

I want nice things for the people who have done good, but at the same time I want to enjoy my home. I also have PND and desperately want to be outside but can't cope with being around people. Just to throw that in there.

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 14/01/2014 13:12

Oooh I would like to add a comment to that along the lines of 'what are you paying at the moment and are you looking to have the same sort of arrangements? but that would require you sending me the link and I'm not going to ask you to do that Wink

This is a blip that I hope you can outsource to someone else to deal with and I hope turns out to be only small. Bottom line is, if they abandon you with the stallion, you have already researched some of the options available. Try not to dwell on it and see if you can make some plans, even if only in your dreams at the moment, for the field when it is vacant.

CompletePushover · 14/01/2014 13:17

I know, I'm very tempted to ask everyone I know to comment along the lines of, "I'm sorry? You want free livery?! Wow. You don't ask much!"

OP posts:
RenterNomad · 14/01/2014 13:17

Lazy, selfis, lying fuckwits. "Homeless", indeed. They should be ashamed of themselves.

LessMissAbs · 14/01/2014 13:19

Mind you, at least they are showing signs of looking for alternative grazing!

(though if I was a livery yard owner, I'd find it a bit of an emotive description, as opposed to simply saying that they were looking for new grazing, and it might make me a bit wary).

CompletePushover · 14/01/2014 13:26

Lessmiss, you'd be even more wary of the words "for free" which are very much included.

Renter, my thoughts exactly.

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 14/01/2014 13:31

Yes, 'peppercorn or free with water' makes it fairly clear doesn't it. Oooh whoopdedoo, they're 'feeding' him... well he won't need the grass then will he???

ToffeeOwnsTheSausage · 14/01/2014 13:34

I know you feel guilty because you are lovely but don't. They are trying to guilt trip you into letting the horses say. YOU are not making them homeless. You can't. You don't own the horses and you aren't renting them a home.

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 14/01/2014 13:40

CompletePushover the clue is right there in your name I'm afraid. You've been too kind and as so often happens instead of the people being gracious and grateful for a favour, when the favour ceases then suddenly you're the mean one.

I've had it happen to me several times and so has my DH.
What's even worse is that you then end up being the one who feels bad.
Don't.

I'm not too sure about some of the people who take on this kind of animal 'rescue' it often turns out that it's more about them being seen to do good than the actual kindness - and the biggest amount of do-gooding at the moment is you letting them have use of the field and water for free, while you're unable to use the land for the very purpose that you bought it for.
They, however, take the moral highground.

I'm not unsympathetic towards the family you purchased from, or the needs of the unwanted horse, but you can't take on everyone's problems, you have enough to deal with and you've more than done your bit. A different purchaser may well have refused to complete without vacant possession or given them a notice to quit immediately.

Keep thinking about that and stay firm.
The more you give, the more they'll take.

moldingsunbeams · 14/01/2014 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CompletePushover · 14/01/2014 13:50

Mistle :) I wouldn't wish this "warm feeling" on my worst enemy (that's the reward you get for giving them your things for free).

Toffee, you're quite right. I'm not making them homeless, irresponsible horse owners are unwilling to pay for what they need from someone who will provide what they want happily.

Enrique, that's exactly it, when does the favour become the expectation, and the withdrawal of said favour become the act of badness?! Angry

Moldings I could walk over there now and kick them out. I'm regretting being so nice.

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 14/01/2014 13:56

You could add on their thread ' new field owner will be responsible for paying for water, will have private garden overrun by dogs and will be shouted at on their doorstep'

That won't help with their search for a new field of course...

CompletePushover · 14/01/2014 14:06

Mistle this had occurred to me :) don't want to warn anyone off for my sake, but nor would I want anyone lumbered with this.

OP posts:
betty10k · 14/01/2014 15:06

Sorry to hear your story - i think you've been very reasonable considering. Time to fight maybe?

It's amazing how often this sort of thing happens - someone i know bought a farm last year and arrived to find the previous owners had left a donkey and 6 geese!!!! Still not been claimed so they now look after them.

CompletePushover · 14/01/2014 15:09

Betty, I don't think it's uncommon at all. I'm glad it wasn't geese Grin they're much scarier. We used to have them when I was little and they'd chase me.

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 14/01/2014 15:14

I really don't think that you would be 'unreasonable' to ask them to use a temporary electric fence to keep the horses in half of the field so that you could use the other part, until they go. It wouldn't have been unreasonable to chuck them out when you moved in - so really they are taking the biscuit to be so outraged that you want to occupy the field that you bought.

CompletePushover · 14/01/2014 15:17

Mistle, I think you're right. We do want to make a start on work over there, and a lot of it needs doing before spring.

OP posts:
Cantabile · 14/01/2014 15:22

Post a link to the advert and we can post questions like "how much are you paying now?", "why do you have to move them?" and things like that, to shame them. They are horrible.

CompletePushover · 14/01/2014 15:25

I'd love to but it'd mean putting my locati

OP posts:
CompletePushover · 14/01/2014 15:25

...on on here and would completely out me :)

OP posts:
CompletePushover · 14/01/2014 17:04

Just spoke to someone about this and here's an interesting angle that I hadn't considered; with all this saving of the animals, where was the army of helpers to help the people in the house? The house was a state (think one of those 'filthy house' programmes with actual animal faeces etc. throughout), they had health issues, and no one helped. That's really sad :(

OP posts:
RenterNomad · 14/01/2014 18:03

You need the solicitor from this thread!

CompletePushover · 14/01/2014 18:30

I do, don't I?

My resolve is firming by the moment.

OP posts:
StrainingWaistband · 14/01/2014 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CompletePushover · 14/01/2014 20:01

Thanks straining Grin I couldn't wish for a better support.

I'm just hoping that at some point I'll be able to come on here with a "they've gone!" Post.

OP posts:
steppemum · 14/01/2014 20:42

I would love to make a notice, and laminate it and stick it up next to their notice:

The current owners of this field have very kindly allowed us to have our horses here rent free, and provided us with water at their expense.
They also allowed us use of their parking, shed and access through their garden.
We are so grateful to them for their kindness and generosity, but now we need to give them their field back so that their children can have a garden.

So we are looking for a new field. Can you help?

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