Awkward (and other) questions about MNers jobs-following on from *Pinocchio's 1st thread.

[mignonette]

Following on from this thread by Pinocchio -

"I thought this would be a good way for us to get answers to those awkward questions we would never dream of asking someone to their face in their place of work.

These are questions relating to my life that i would love honest answers to.

Hairdressers - When someone with bad dandruff/psoriasis sits on your chair, do you shrug it off, or do you quickly have a look to make sure it's not lice? Are you able to tell the difference right away or does it need investigating? And do you really want to know what my plans are for the day, or would you rather work in silence?

Teachers - do you get annoyed when parents write in homework diaries that a specific piece of homework was too tricky for their child? Do you take it as an insult to your teaching skills?

Waiter/waitresses - do you expect people to offer to clean up their children's mess before they leave, or do you just shrug it off as part of the job? If you're busy and haven't had chance to clean a table yet, and a new customer came up and asked for a cloth to clean it, would you be offended?

I'm a trainee SLT so not quite sure if I'm qualified to answer any questions regarding that line of work yet.

But i have experience working in a Subway sandwich store, a library, a gym and as a cleaner. So i can answer any cleaning, book or sandwich questions that are burning away inside you all"

Pinocchio I hope you don't mind me C+Ping your original post but wanted you to have the credit for this follow on as is such a great thread!

Thumb Okay will ask.

TheHouse - I am not a criminal lawyer so will say this with that caveat, but you cannot represent someone on a not-guilty plea if they have given instructions they are guilty to you. If they insist on pleading not guilty in those circumstances, you are obliged to cease to act, but not tell the court why. If they maintain innocence, you can act on a not guilty plea.

TheHouse I'm a Solicitor-Advocate - as a barrister or a solicitor your overriding duty is to the court. It would be a breach of our professional conduct rules to mislead the court on a matter. If a client told you that they were guilty then you would not be able to present a not guilty plea to the court, you would have to withdraw on the basis that you are "professionally embarrassed", shorthand for "my client is a lying little scrote".

Gertrude I assume that happens in semi-private as it would immediately tell the other officers of the court what had happened.

VERY pleased to wake up to this being in Classics now - hurrah! NOw it won't be lost.

Good idea Thumb. I'm hoping Pinocchios original thread is in there too as it was her idea.

Jimmy, bel canto is a good way of establishing a great vocal technique. Ask the teacher about it.

Ok! I have also found a massive local choir that takes anyone!! Sounds really fun. I have been walking past the singing teacher's house on my way to soft play for the last year .

NCT teachers - do you inwardly grin when you hear the unrealistic plans parents to be make in your classes?

Hello I'm a midwife! I'm not sure if anyone has already answered the question up thread but here goes!!

No we don't mind you swearing at us, no we don't mind the mess, no we don't mind anything, in fact we enjoy it! We have been known to say to each other, "I wish my lady would have a bloody good vomit to move that head down" despite us being the ones to clear it up!

themidwife do you sometimes think "oh stop being such a wet / drama queen and get on with it"?
Because that's my overwhelming thought when watching OBEM etc.

I don't watch OBEM because it's so heavily edited they're either on tea break of raising their eyebrows!

I'm a community midwife who has had 4 children & am a right screamer in labour myself so am in no position to judge! In fact quite the reverse - I'm constantly amazed by how quiet & calm so many women are!

Once years ago when I worked in hospital a woman grabbed a handful of skin on my neck & twisted it during a contraction & I did tell her to get the hell off or I wouldn't look after her anymore though! Otherwise everyone is very lovely & the "fucking hells" just make me laugh!

I've been reading these threads for a few days now - great new knowledge!

I used to be an archaeologist and agree with PP about everything she said. It's hard to find permanent work, and the work is much more physically demanding than I think most people (including arch. students) expect.

I've also worked in museums, done data entry and processing, and answered the phone in a customer service call centre - joy!

Mental health professionals - Have you ever had to have a long working relationship with a patient who you intensily dislike for whatever reason? How does that work? Does it affect the relationship, and can you be sure it doesn't come across? Or would you ever consider referring them elsewhere or something like that just for this reason?

I have had one client that I mutually agreed to transfer to another colleague because of transference and counter transference. We were a bad fit.

It happens sometimes and the only problem is when you don't acknowledge it. Then it becomes counter therapeutic. Sometimes it is therapeutic to have a particular gender as care coordinator- a female patient w/ abuse issues might benefit from a same sex professional or it might be beneficial for her to role model appropriate behaviours and relationships with a professional of the opposite sex. My Dh had a client like this- I pointed out to him that he was the first significant male in her life to have not abused her/tried to have a sexual relationship w/ her. in that respect the therapeutic relationship is very positive and powerful.

I haven't referred anybody because of dislike though. Just a bad fit. Having compulsory managerial, peer to peer and clinical supervision provides a safe space to discuss any issues in the client relationship and you would work through solutions and develop an action plan. A client is free to request a new care coordinator/case manager although on wards it can be more problematic.

My client base are all considered 'challenging' but I like that and find the boundaries to be very clear. I absolutely know where the line is. My clients have little leeway to request a new case manager though because of the kind of treatment orders most are under. Sometimes yuo have to be aware that requests to change a case manager/doctor can be attempts to subvert the system. It can sometimes be what we call 'splitting behaviours' and this again would be something for case conference and supervision.

itsn0tmeitsyou
Teachers Do you like some children more than others?
Yes, you do. Not always the ones you would expect either and it differs for everyone. Some children and teachers just rub each other up the wrong way. However, you would never show it to them or their parents. Often the parent would twig if you get along with a child who hasn't worked well with former teachers .
Does it make any difference to how you treat them?
Not really. Your job is to teach them all and life is much easier in the classroom if you all get along.

What kind of child do you prefer? Diligent and sensible, or loud and funny?
They can be both! As you get to know the children in your care you can discover hidden depths. I could find something great to say about every child I taught although some can test you greatly.

Do you feel a bit guilty if there are children you don't really like but there's no obvious reason for it?
Yes but you don't show it so they will never know.

This makes me sound like the Maria Von Trapp of teachers! I definitely did my share of endless moaning and wailing about children in the staffroom and at home.

mignonnette and greening - I missed the thread where you both said what you were (ie counsellors, psychotherapists). Were you naturally boundaried people before you started training, or has that come with training?

TerrorTremor why did you need good eyesight to become a midwife?

Hog

These abilities and qualities are hard won over time. I have always been pretty close mouthed over confidences and what people tell me etc and am quite private in my own life. I'm not a naturally gregarious person although many of my colleagues are.

We all have areas of strength but learning about boundaries, confidentiality etc starts with training and with good mentoring, preceptorship and supervision. Over time you observe all manner of human behaviour and whilst I don't 'analyse' people when off duty (as I have been asked IRL if I do) I am super sensitive to atmosphere and nuance and I do tend to notice things that some others do not.

Having the ability to listen to your instincts and to have confidence in them is something I encourage everybody to do. Instinct is our 'sixth sense' and is an evolutionary tool. I have a real 'nose' for impending trouble (such as aggression etc) and being proactive rather than reactive helps keep clients, team and wards calmer. That is definitely something i have learned and developed through years of work.

The schools of nursing and midwifery would also say that the interview process will select candidates with the best ability to develop these qualities although whether they enhance them over time adequately is another matter.

Hog
The first thread bu Pinocchio is now in classics.

Well done Pinocchio for such a brilliant thread idea.

Thanks mignonnette I maybe used the wrong word. I meant boundaries in terms of not not taking it home with you, not projecting etc.

Herisson - How did you get into costuming? I am a very keen but amateur seamstress, I would love to work in that area even voluntarily.

I am a qualified early years practitioner (child development officer/nursery nurse) currently studying to managerial level. I also have a fairly robust arts & crafts knowledge base after having running classes in everything from sewing to pottery while I had a shop :)

Oh you cannot help but take it home. I have had many colleagues leave the job because cumulatively, it gets too much. I have had depressive episodes, anxiety and stress. I have had PTSD after blowing the whistle on an abusive nurse manager and being bullied and victimised out of a job in a former trust. I had to move trusts and cities. You definitely pay the price in some ways although I dealt with it immediately.

I remember all the clients who have committed suicide and you do ruminate somewhat if they are your clients even if the inquest shows you have done all you can for them.

Again supervision helps and having goof friends in the service to talk to but also to avoid socialising solely with colleagues which a lot of people I work with tend to do.

Sometimes you cannot help projecting onto clients or colleagues because this is an everyday human response. Recognising and dealing with it is what is important. I have less functional responses like everybody. I am not a model of healthy psychological behaviour all the time. I don't always use the techniques I would use in therapy with a client in my own relationships. I yell at my kids. I yell at the TV. I displace anger onto inanimate objects and also onto more animate ones! But I do try to be kind and I know when to apologise. I have seen so many problems caused by too much pride and not being apologetic when one should.

mignonnette that's fascinating - thank you. I think it must be the most interesting career - but it's a long training (for obvious reasons) and I understand it's quite competitive in terms of getting clients if you are in the private sector.

Herisson - How did you get into costuming? I am a very keen but amateur seamstress, I would love to work in that area even voluntarily.

I got into it because someone offered me a job as a dresser and I went on from there. I could only sew a button on when I started out but could now make almost anything from scratch (not corseting, hate corsets). If you have good sewing skills you would be very much in demand with amateur groups etc and could go on to offer services to local theatres for alterations/mending etc. Can you make stuff properly without a pattern? Pattern cutting etc is the hardest skill and really in demand. If you can really make stuff, you could absolutely do it professionally if you wanted to.

Dressing is a slightly different skill and more akin to psychotherapy.

Re teaching. Yes, you moan about the kids in the staff room sometimes but at the end of the day you'd take a bullet for them.