So I am looking after my friends 3 year old for the weekend.
I'd just like to point out, before I post the wonderful things that have happened since yesterday, that I do actually have children.
3 in fact.
I point that out because after reading this, you might be forgiven for thinking I have no clue about children what so ever 
So...she arrives at 5pm. Lovely, lovely girl. Lovely mum who for some reason thinks I am trustworthy, drops her off without a fuss.
Oh dear god.
All is well for a while. We eat dinner, she eats it all up. And dessert. I am cleaning the kitchen, I turn around and she is eating the dogs food out of his bowl.
And then told me the doggies dinner is very tasty
We are watching tv later on and I ask my ds1 to keep an eye on her while I make a cup of tea.
I come back, she is in the dogs bed.
She wants to play hide and seek. So she hides.
Can I find her? No.
Can the DCs find her? No.
Im about to call the fucking police because clearly she has disappeared when she pops out from a bush in the garden covered head to foot in mud.
We give her a bath, got her pjs on. I go to make her a hot chocolate. I turn round and find her sitting in a cupboard. Of course, I notice she is in there the very second I shut the cupboard door. On her head.
I put her to bed on the little bed in my room.
I go to bed as well because I know if I am not sitting there looking at her, something will happen.
I wake up, an hour ago. She is asleep in the dogs bed.
She just said to me "I had so much fun auntie tantrums. I are doggies dinner, you lost me, I got very dirty and sleeped in the doggy bed. And you shut me in the cupboard"
She found it all hysterically funny.
She's going to go home and tell her mum all of that isn't she??
Is there any way at all I can put a positive spin on this??
I very doubt my friend is ever going to talk to me again, let alone trust me with her child.
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Well. That went well, didnt it.......
TantrumsAndBalloons · 14/09/2013 07:56
Don't, whatever you do, leave her with Honeydragon! She'll come back blue with no hair! 
Shamelessly marking place too 
Hope things get easier, sounds like your friend owes you a big one after this weekend
When you friend texts tomorrow, there is only 1 reply
Bring wine
Good luck with playzone and Mcd's - here's a paracetamol on me.....
(you really are a lovely friend though, your mate is probably relaxing for the 1st time in ages)
Unbelievably (certainly to me ) I am regularly entrusted the care of friends children, even over tonight.
This is done with the full knowledge of their parents knowing that they may not be returned to them in the condition they arrived in.
. Frankly some parents are weird
Still they always seem happy to be here.
Come over here. We are vogueing in the kitchen and making cheese and ham croissants with hot chocolate
Thanks for the laugh, Auntie Tantrums! She sounds absolutely brilliant.
"And will just come home and sit still?" Fat chance
The last time DP's DGD (2.7) was here, she discovered the laundry balls - then spent 10 minutes desperately trying to make them bounce whilst I was trying to grab them before they hit something breakable!
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Brilliant ! She sounds just like our daughter was at that age.
Sounds like you need to remove all scissors and knives from the house though, for the cat's sake.
I think after this weekend you're going to have all the details needed for a 'how to look after a toddler' manual, from the toddlers POV . Can you get some decent photos to demonstrate what fun she is having?
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