Terrible wedding behaviour.

[WayHarshTai]

In light of the recent rash of threads about it, I thought we could have a compilation thread to keep them all in one place.

I'll start with my wedding, and my SIL.

We wanted her DS (who was about two and a half) to be a sort of page boy and wear the same style suit as his dad (best man) and the rest of the 'wedding party' including my DS. SIL said no as he woudn't want to wear a suit. And then promptly went out and bought him, that's right, a suit to wear.

She then asked if we could arrange a vegetarian meal for her despite the fact she is not a vegetarian. Which of course we did, although it smacked of 'making life difficult'. And she then managed to take both veggie meals on the day leaving my actual veggie cousin without a meal (still not sure how this happened).

At the ceremony she brought her DS in eating the World's Biggest Icecream? which he then sat and slurped in his non matching suit all through the vows.

When we got to the venue she moved all the place settings around because she didn't like where she was sitting.

She then got very drunk very quickly, became very loud, heckled the speeches, announced her recent (six months ago) miscarriage to the room and then coralled me for nearly an on the balcony while she cried and told me how awful her life was.

I just found the whole thing quite funny (well, not the crying) and it makes for an interesting story, so if she was trying to ruin things it didn't work.

Anyway, that's my Terrible Wedding Behaviour story, I know you lot have some corkers, so spill.

Mine are quite tame by comparision

Firstly as a 10 year Bridesmaid to a cousin, I go to the house at 11am as pre-arranged to get ready. There is no food offered, and wedding is mid afternoon. After being dragged off the second we get to the reception for another hour of photographs (as only tacky 80's photos could get - think through brandy glass couple type) Im nearly fainting on my feet. Eventually get to the reception, where my gran rants that children should be the last to be fed, luckily my mother ignored her as realised we hadnt been fed all day.

At my wedding, various cousins not only dont accept my invite, but get their mum to ring my mum to say they cant come the week before the wedding. Day itself was fine, but had trusted my friends with our video camera, which I then see after our honeymoon that between the afternoon and evening part, they had taken the camera and themselves on a pubcrawl of the local pubs and basically invited any strangers to the evening do (luckily no one took them up on the offer). To top it off, they are videod trying to set up a "you've been framed" style set up of hitting each other on the back with food trays - one of these guys is now a head of history at a secondary school.

Not terrible but always chuckle as we went for breakfast the next morning at the hotel and met a group of friends, DH's BM asks if he managed to consumate the mariage yet, before DH could even respond, another married male mate said "not everyone can do it on their wedding night" his wife went bright red - we werent sure if it was embaressment or anger

I almost forgot, I was at another wedding of a uni mate a few years back, everything was fantastic, the location, the ceremony, the food, the other guests. It was not some over the top £30k effort, just a perfectly pitched modest wedding. A whole gang of us, mates of the groom from uni, were sat at a table at the back, all getting a bit merry but nothing too messy. Anyway, one of the girls at our table had dated the groom for a few months while they were students, which was literally over ten years previously and had since remained friends. We were all there listening to the speeches and the last to speak was the groom, it was all the usual stuff, thanking the hotel staff, welcoming the new in laws to the family etc before finally turning to the bride to sign off his speech with the expected ?I am so lucky to have you as a wife? bit. As he spilled out his heart felt words to his new wife he uttered the phrase ?I have never loved anyone as much as you? to which the girl at our table shouts out at the top of her voice ?YOU FUCKING LIAR????..stunned silence ensues??fair play to the groom, he just retorted with a dead pan ?Thank you for that contribution Tanya??..before continuing his speech, we all pissing ourselves laughing

I forgot the most recent one. My al got married, love day fab evenig until another pal announced while the bride was having her hair doe that morning the groom was having sex with her. Marriage was annulled this week.

Brother's second wedding was a charmer. My family hadn't met SIL's family before - turned out this was deliberate as DB guessed we all wouldn't get along. SIL was heavily pregnant and money was tight so it was just the registry do and some photos outside, then DB and SIL went off with their DS for a family dinner. That bit was fine, don't blame them at all.

But my family and SIL's family did not hit it off well. SIL's dad took all the photos with a flashy camera he couldn't actually use and then and kept us out of most of them. SIL's mum kept screaming at nephew to stay still in the photos. He was 3! (Poor lad is generally kept in the house all day every day anyway because of SIL worrying about things, so he went loopy over the big outside space he was suddenly released into). SIL's two younger, late teen sisters were dressed... Well, as a previous poster has mentioned, the lack of either a bra or underknackers was blatantly obvious on one of them, and if she had bent down in that dress we would have been in for an eyeful. Two sisters spent the whole wedding ceremony trying to insist that nephew liked them more than he liked us and generally tried to keep him away from us.

And throughout it all I was about 3m pregnant with HG and had to keep nipping off to either be sick or try and eat half a biscuit Probably best I am only in a few photos, I look distinctly green...

Lovely day!

Oh and the perimenopausal flooding? Unless I am supposed to go about every day for several months with half a pack of towels stuffed in my knickers, there is no way to even predict when its going to happen.

Normal periods for a few months, nothing for 5, 7, 9. 3 weeks and then WOOSH.

At least when I just had heavy periods I had some idea when one was coming along and could prepare! I am just dreading disasters like the one mentioned upthread and feel the humiliation in advance of any unforeseen and uncontrolled bodily function that others might view as disgusting. Don't judge until its happened to you.

back on topic though, can't possibly post anything from sil's or my own sisters weddings last year as I would be outed within about 10 mins.

you could always namechange, flibberty...

Have a friend who used to work as a waiter to get himself through college and was working at a wedding, said it was going well until the speeches, when the groom stood up and said ' and to my beautiful wife, thank you for being an utter slag and shagging the best man last night' turned on his heels and left - apparently the place erupted !!!

I forgot to mention the lovely wedding we went to, that 24 hrs afterwards half the wedding party (of which a good proportion with from EU), myself and the bride and groom all got norovirus (there were so many ill that the local health authority had to do full tests to decide if it was that or food poisoning). The B&G missed the start of their honeymoon, and many guests missed their flights home.

The wedding in winter, that was so cold I wore my coat the whole time, including the reception in a freezing cold sports hall

This one will out me to anyone who knows me. When I was nearly 9 months pregnant, to my ex boyfriends mariage to my best friend from school (in their defence they did get together many years after we split) but his mum hated all his girlfriends (except for the good little catholic girl who was none of the sort). I was sat at a table of school friends, 3 of whom the groom had also dated at one time or another. The BM's speech began about their first date and then told everyone that that had been at the grooms first date with me (when my bf had come for support). Apparently the BM continued to state that they had both wanted to "get into each others pants during the whole time the groom was dating CaptainRex" which was nice to learn. Luckily I saw the funny side

Mine was a dry wedding in a Muslim country, except we had vodka and wine in the back kitchen and everyone 'in the know' was coming to help themselves. That was fine except for one friend of XH who was late 40s married with 10 kids (wife wasn't there) got very drunk and who sleazed on to my friends, my aunt and even my mother.
Another female (muslim) guest discovered the Smirnoff and was drinking it neat pretending it was water. She danced on a table but then to be fair that's par for the course for this sort of wedding, even without booze.
Some randoms gate crashed at around 2am, again quite socially acceptable but they were hammered and one guy proceeded to basically give the other a lap dance in the corner. My family were all nudging each other with eyes like saucers trying not to laugh while all the locals totally ignored it.
It was all a laugh though!

DH and I went to an evening wedding reception, everyone looked a bit po faced when we arrived and it turned out the best man had thought it would be funny to circulate photos of the groom DTD on his stag weekend abroad.

They were divorced before their first wedding anniversary

Friend of DH's from school's wedding about 20 years ago. The father of the bride, started talking about when the bride started her periods during his speech...best man and groomsmen (all Royal Marines) wrestled mic off him and made him sit down...was very awkward

Oooh, I have a good un'.

My DM insisted that I invite all my cousins on her side of the family, I have loads, some I'm close to and some not, so I really didn't want to but she felt very awkward about it. FWIW, if it was now I would tell her to deal with it or pay for them

Anyway, I ended up inviting a cousin (and her husband - who I'd never met before) who lives 100's of miles away and who was kind of estranged from the family, though I had no idea why at the time and still don't now. Her brother and sister came too and they still lived locally.

There was obviously some disagreement about something and my male cousin lamped the estranged female cousins husband. Another close female cousin of mine got involved, had a row with the estranged one, who slapped her. This all happened on the dance floor at my reception, thankfully most wedding guests had gone, as had I - found out about it in the morning. Families eh?

A wedding that was intended to be very small (10) until the mother elbowed her way in and it ended up about 40 for the day and 100+ for the evening.

Bride and groom stick to 'no children' rule. Relatives with children fine, they live about 1hour drive away so would have to leave early if kids were invited. Grandmother not happy her 5 year old gd not a bridesmaid but has to live with it.

All is fine until a couple walk into the evening do with a 5 year old in a bridesmaid's dress. Mum of bride had invited them. They were not family, or friends they were people mum of bride had met a week ago and secretly invited.

Much pursed lips from gm. Much loud, 'No I have no idea who invited that brat' from the bride when evening guests ask about her 'bride's maid'.

Not that bad really, nothing compared to Libra who absolutely wins.

Has anyone been to weddings where there should be arguments/fighting but everyone got on fine?

I went to a wedding in Liverpool, the bride was RC so wedding in RC church. Father of the bride is in the Orange order.

No fights, no arguments, lots of food and drink and dancing.

At my SIL's wedding her teenage son got so drunk he vomited all over the groom.

These are all great, I have two examples that stand out.

At my SIL's wedding a friend's wife (now ex) came dressed in black, with a big misshapen black hat (which unfortunately made her look like halloween witch). She got very drunk and then played dirges on the baby grand piano at the reception in the room next to where everyone was eating. Beeezarrrrre.

At my own wedding the new girlfriend of the same bloke above tried to sell handbags from the boot of her car to my guests, she also did a costume change halfway through the evening for some reason. This was the first time I met her, I have not seen her since.

This wasn't too bad, but not funny at the time.

We got married abroad, and I was so paranoid about best man leaving rings at home, I took them over, and gave to best man the day before wedding. Wedding was about an hour away from hotel.
During the ceremony, when it was time to exchange the rings, the best man admitted, that he had left them at the hotel....grrrrr!

We got married using best mans ring and my great grans ring. However, I was more annoyed that he worked into wedding speech....'that's the only time X (DH) gets his finger into my ring!

A friend had a very manipulative future MIL who threatened to cause huge trouble at friend's wedding her ex husband (father of the groom) was invited. My poor friend, her fiance, and her family were worried for months and months.

On the day, MIL behaved fine and even made it up with the FIL. It seemed that she wasn't really going to cause trouble with the FIL but really wanted to cause intense worry amongst the bride's family during the months preceding the wedding. Awful woman.

Also - when my best friend got married her husband's ghastly best man gave a speech that included a slide show of all the (many) women the groom had chatted up on his stag weekend.

Have a friend who used to work as a waiter to get himself through college and was working at a wedding, said it was going well until the speeches, when the groom stood up and said ' and to my beautiful wife, thank you for being an utter slag and shagging the best man last night' turned on his heels and left - apparently the place erupted !!!

Well that was a bit stupid, waiting till after he had married her to reveal her infidelity and walk out.

Surely at the alter would be better.

Cu, probably, but atleast was annulment was a possibility.

Talking of awkward Father-of-the-bride speeches:

1. very odd reception, almost nowhere to sit, buffet was minimal and there was nothing after it - despite the FotB being loaded. He obviously didn't like the daughter getting married as he barely mentioned her, just went on and on about his OTHER daughter and how fab she was.
2. FotB had split with MotB a few months prior to the wedding and insisted on bringing the OW to the wedding with him, and her sitting on top table - first awkwardness. THEN he proceeded to talk about the time the bride had "got into the junior disprin" and had to have her stomach pumped...

Cu - quite possibly he didn't find out about it until the reception.

I can also add the wedding where ther FoB speech kicked off with a racist 'joke' and there was no dessert, they just served the wedding cake. This was a 30k wedding in a very swanky hotel with all the trimmings by the way.

Another SIL of mine, her Father and his new wife sat on the top table, her mother was put on the table to look after the kids. Cue lots of people doing 'I didn't realise that was your mother' about step mum and then trying to explain why her mother was relegated to the crèche table.