Terrible wedding behaviour.

[WayHarshTai]

In light of the recent rash of threads about it, I thought we could have a compilation thread to keep them all in one place.

I'll start with my wedding, and my SIL.

We wanted her DS (who was about two and a half) to be a sort of page boy and wear the same style suit as his dad (best man) and the rest of the 'wedding party' including my DS. SIL said no as he woudn't want to wear a suit. And then promptly went out and bought him, that's right, a suit to wear.

She then asked if we could arrange a vegetarian meal for her despite the fact she is not a vegetarian. Which of course we did, although it smacked of 'making life difficult'. And she then managed to take both veggie meals on the day leaving my actual veggie cousin without a meal (still not sure how this happened).

At the ceremony she brought her DS in eating the World's Biggest Icecream? which he then sat and slurped in his non matching suit all through the vows.

When we got to the venue she moved all the place settings around because she didn't like where she was sitting.

She then got very drunk very quickly, became very loud, heckled the speeches, announced her recent (six months ago) miscarriage to the room and then coralled me for nearly an on the balcony while she cried and told me how awful her life was.

I just found the whole thing quite funny (well, not the crying) and it makes for an interesting story, so if she was trying to ruin things it didn't work.

Anyway, that's my Terrible Wedding Behaviour story, I know you lot have some corkers, so spill.

Never i wonder how long that marriage lasted, since the bride almost broke her vows on the first night.

Some of these are particularly insane, very funny, but I imagine horrible to have to witness.
For my part I can add:

My MIL disappearing from the receiving line because she "doesn't do formality", leaving me to flounder over her invites (many of whom I'd not met before) and introduce them to my parents.

One of my poor guests having a huge anaphylactic shock, after I'd painstakingly gone through the menu to make sure she'd not be exposed I sat her next to a child who's mum innocently gave her child a banana.

My uncle raging at my father after dear uncle failed to catch the laid on booze-bus to get him back to his hotel and my father hadn't seen fit to set aside cash and contacts for taxis as well.

The photographer my DM hired turned out to be a certified loon - not only did he take hundreds of pictures of feet (yes, just feet, specifically lady feet), but he took loads of pictures of the same individuals over and over again, botched all the group images I requested AND bolloxxed about with the original digital files in photoshop before giving them to me, so that I wasn't even able to salvage that much out of them.

All of our wedding presents being opened by a "friend" who stayed briefly at our house after the wedding.

From other weddings:

my best friend's mother's wedding presents were opened by her MIL whilst she was on honeymoon, not only that but she neglected to keep a record of who had gifted what, hence friend's mum had to write deeply apologetically to each guest and request to know what they had sent!

The wedding of DH's best mate: the best man went AWOL for three hours prior to the speeches, then midway through the speeches a guest collapsed, had an ambulance called and was worked on for over an hour In situ before being stable enough to be moved. The poor bride was genuinely beside herself. Fortunately the guest did recover and we did receive a positive update before the end of the night.

This should be moved to the wedding board so that bride to bes can take notes on how not to behave from put upon guests.

Shamelessly marking place

Just me then

I do remember being a bit put out a few years ago when all the guests had to stand up during the service for one of the bride's loon friends to give a bollocking sermon about how we were all going to hell.

Given the fact that we were forced to listen to his shite for well over half an hour, whilst wearing high heels, I was pretty convinced we were already there.

At a friend's wedding, a distant cousin offered to do a dance display as a wedding present. My friend said No. The cousin turned up with her dance partner anyway (who she'd described as a young relative, to sneak in, but it backfired as he ended up on the children's table and everyone wondered who he was). The cousin interrupted the speeches and turned on the music, to do her public dance, as a wedding present.

I went to a wedding a few years ago where the father of the bride stood up to make his speech, had a massive heart attack, and died at the top table.
Worst wedding ever

I've been at a wedding where the groom and his mates decided to give us an alcohol fuelled rendition of the full monty.

I (like most of the female guests) wouldn't have called it terrible behaviour but I'm not too sure about the bride.

Onthebottom That is just so, so awful :(

Corrine No, not just you. I'm lurking to see if anyone mentions a wedding where a well-oiled guest danced a little too enthusiastically and fell onto the edge of the stage, breaking a small but expensive percussion instrument belonging to the Cuban band. I recognise any anecdotes

I was an engagement party once and there was a girl who was dancing rather enthusiastically, and she slipped and broke her leg. As she was stretchered out by the paramedics the dj played 'jack the peg (with his extra leg)' which was rather mean!

Argh! JAKE the peg, by Rolf Harris. Not Jack!

I will never forget my mates wedding. Her mum makes all the mil's out there seem extremely nice and took full control over everything. Mate had learned years ago just to say yes to everything. She even badgered the groom to propose, and ripped out any remaining of esteem from her dd by constantly saying she had to marry him. No-one else would want her. So for a quiet life mate said yes, and simply let everyone else take care of everything.

So dress shopping came. Her mum and me went with her. Mate picked up some stunning things. Her mum ridiculed the lot of them and badgered her into wearing this coffee coloured monstrosity that not only was shapeless but was too big. Mate was a 8/10 at the time, but this thing was a 14, and her mum said it looked a bit tight.. Tried intervening, but omg, the woman had a nasty gob on her.

Her mum decided the wedding would be in home town. Didn't matter that her dd hadn't been back in years, hated the family and had nothing to do with them. Family booked everything up there. Mate just told ooh it's all nice, do you remember such and such place, which mate didn't but was told is was really nice. Flowers all taken care of with some nice flowers. Family said oh we are so nice, we will put up mate, future hubby, her mum, and a couple of mates. They even arranged her hen night.

So we arrives day before wedding. Hen night is that night. Some go off to hotel that had been booked by helpful relatives. Some went off to nice relative. Mate walks in and walks back out of the house saying no way can i stay there, it is disgusting. Thinking she was overreacting a bit walks in, and omg, it was a dump. Still makes me feel ill.. So anyway we get ready for hen night, while her mum and her mums best mate stayed in the house to try and clean up.

Hen night consisted of driving around for hours lost. Kid you not. They had all these plans, but nothing transpired, until about 3 hours later when one of us needed to go loo and ended up in some cheesy disco which was closing in 30 minutes.

Fast forward next day. The flowers looked like something my little pony had puked up. The person who was doing mates hair considered chucking a couple of flowers in hair was fine. Person who was to do her make up, we think her expertise was clowns. So a few of us in the toilets of the registry office trying to make her look good, with her sobbing her eyes out. Older relatives put it down to nerves.

Reception was a 2 hour drive away to the dirtiest, seediest pub you have ever seen. The food was your typical pub lunches of sandwiches and ploughmans. Mate had made 3 request for the whole thing, no marizpan on the cake, no cheesy disco music and no pork. So the cake was more marzipan than anything else, and dj only had cheesy disco music, and loads of pork products which mate doesn't eat. Someone had decided to invite her dad, didn't matter that she hadn't seem him since she was 6 months old, family were still in touch.

First time mates dad spoke to her was to have a moan that she never told him he was a granddad. Her reply was it's not my fault your not telepathic. He then went on to get the best man pissed. Couple of hours later dad decides he still in love with her mum and tries hitting on her, repeatedly, didn't matter his partner was there. Begging her to try again, and at one point asked her to go in the loo with him for a bj for old times sake. Mum hits him and tells him to fuck off. He then comes to mate to tell her to sort her mum out.

Towards the end of the night, one of the bar staff came to us and said one of your guests has nicked my bag so either I want xx or my bag back. Refused and said well, lock down the pub and lets call the police. Staff didn't want to do that.. Just as we are all walking out of the door, after bar staff had found her bag, owner comes and gives bride the bill for the room, dj, food and everything else. She was shocked because she had paid everything already, including putting a considerable amount behind the bar, and then for guests to be charged.. Turns out, cousin had spent the money on other things rather than the reception.

That poor girl Mr Tumble - I hope she told her entire family to fuck off to the other side of fuck and then fuck off some more.
That said, an aunt of mine was given money by her dad, my grandad to put a deposit on their reception venue. He was the bill payer so venue had his contact details for billing. 6wks later he got a phone call to from the venue manager saying that they were sorry they had decided not to book with them as no deposit had been paid! The aunt had ordered herself new furniture and a sunbed with the money!

corrine you took the words right out of my mouth. Totally.

Wow makes my wedding look almost normal! Only things I had was a bm who fucked up his speech coz he got nervous, and my dm trying to be friendly and talk to my df... They have been seperated for 23 years and spoken / seen each other less than 4 times in past 10! My dh, myself and an usher( an ex-long story!) were all stood watching them in shock with dropped jaws safe to say my df has avoided my dm since then.our vicar was awesome tho came to the reception and is still a great laugh and friend .

Forgot this - my aunt (by marriage) got terribly pissed on my wedding day. Her husband left the reception and aunt carried on partying.

There is video footage of said aunt flirting with my cousin (her nephew by marriage) and kissing him on the lips.

She's now divorced.

Loving this thread. Pretty tame by comparison but my dad's second marriage was at our house by the pool. I was about 19 and had my bestie as my guest (who was like a second daughter to dad anyway) and my DB had his girlfriend, and a couple of friends who were friends of the family. It was our first time meeting DSM's family and her sisters drunk husband for some reason took a strange liking to me, already having one creepy uncle and not wanting another, I pretty quickly made it clear that we were not a hugging family, and that a polite hello was enough "getting to know each other" for me.

Avoided him throughout the ceremony, which was 5 minutes long and everyone stood around the couple. Before speeches he approached me again and I was far less polite in my response, so he threw me in the pool. I was shocked, got out dried myself off but having left home had no clothes to change in to, and it was a fucking brand new dress that I knew I would never wear again was left in soaking wet clothes.

Went and told my brother and friends about the incident, and before I really knew what was happening 6 teenagers went after this (very fat) man, picked him up and threw him in the pool. We all got told off for not taking his watch off him before throwing him in (myself included and I was just watching in shock), but most people were pretty glad that he went in.

Then to top off our shocking behavior my friend and I went to town, got very drunk, apparently being soaking wet is a good way to get sympathy drinks. Friend then injures her knee and I enlisted some police officers to take us home, then convinced them to turn on the lights when they pulled into the drive to scare dad. Which worked brilliantly.

Thank god dad has a good sense of humor/was smashed.

I went to friends wedding, there was a group of close friends which we all sat together, towards the back for the church. We've got friend that is partially slighted and on having a conversation with her outside the church she was having a bloke be ungentlemanly towards her. So we went into the church, keeping conversation. Now how we were sat was a few friends on three pews each behind each other. The girl had a text though from this bloke, so she decided to show us all what he sent her. Now as she can't see very well her phone is huge! Talking tablet side thing. Well she stands up and shows us all, a picture of his penis! Full up with a little outfit on, like some sort of pirate outfit on his willy! Now we all burst out laughing, really couldn't be helped! But because of the size of the phone, a fair few older members saw the picture as well; as did the organist who was a little shocked to say the least, she must of been in her 80's-bless her she was so flushed and kept missing notes, sounded awful.

Okay this is going to be epic and looong - My 1st Wedding: My parents offered to pay. We saw a nice hotel and took them to approve the menu etc. The wedding planner spoke thru the options exH and i wanted cheapest, but Dad decided this would be an ample opportunity to massively show off, so the lady asked if we wanted canapes? we said no, dad said yes, champagne on arrival? oh yess! which meal option? the most expensive. He ran the bill up to £8k. exH and i put our £1k deposit and M&D would pay 6k towards the rest and we had another thousand. The venue only held 64 people and as the date approaches dad starts telling me of all his golfing mates who are coming. Apparently they are making a weekend of it and golfing the day before/morning of/and day after. Dad told everyone how much he was paying and got months of 'ooooh you're such a great dad down the pub'. Then he started knocking exH family off the guest list saying, 'i don't know who that is' and 'if they want their family to come they should put their hand in their pocket'. Eventually he even said that exH's parents couldn't come because there wasn't room with all his friends. When it was time to pay the balance he'd decided he didn't want to pay for it anymore so we lost our deposit. Oddly he didn't tell anyone about that!

We eventually married a few years later on our own much smaller budget. But my entire dads side of the family refused to come because, despite us calling and telling them the date and that they would be invited, 6 months earlier, we hadn't sent a save the date card, so it wasn't official and they had arranged to have a bbq for each other on that day (we sent the invitation 3 months prior to the wedding date, but it was too short notice apparently). So no Nan, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins from my side came because they were having a bbq with each other . When Nan realised we weren't going to beg her to come she decided the day before that she would just attend the ceremony and my cousin would drive her. We said great - Sat them at the front and invited them to stay the day. I spent time with her after the ceremony before she went home. Asked cousin again if he wanted to stay on - but no, had to get back to the bbq. They returned to the rest of the family and told them we had been really rude and snubbed them. After this none have ever spoken to me or my parents again and were right off at my nans funeral.

Mum thought she was being a right larf and kept heckling the service 'get on with it' 'we all need a drnk' 'where's the bar' etc and during the photos kept telling the photographer to stop now as 'everyone was bored and just wanted a drink' She hoiked the champagne out of the car and swigged it from the bottle. She thought she was being hilarious and 'only saying what everyone else was thinking' er no, sad lush is more apt.

Dad refused to say anything nice about me in his speach because he 'couldn't think of anything nice about me'. He did however do a pete townsend/who impression and swing the microphone over his head. He also threatened to punch mum (seriously thru gritted teeth and with clenched fist) if she didn't stop interrupting him.

My grandad who had barely acknowledged my existence thru my life 'told' me just before we sat down that he WAS doing a speech. I said no, exH said no. During exHs speech grandad ran up to him snatched the microphone and tried to do one anyway. It resulted in 3 people wrestling it off him. He then deciding he would just shout what he wanted to say over exH anywayand spoke entirely about himself. He also went round showing women pictures of him when he was younger and asking them if they would have had sex with him. Oh and he also told my Polish BF he had bombed her town in the war.

Mil who was decorating the hall was supposed to use pink and lilac but decorated it in her choice of black because, even tho i had said no, she knew best and just knew once i saw it i would be converted - i wasn't btw.

Someone who couldn't come passed their invitation on to their son, like it was a concert ticket. He knew no one, got drunk and called my BM a slag and then racially insulted her black husband. Mil, who was looking after taking the cake and gifts home, gave them to him (for some reason) to bring back to the hotel, and somehow he lost it. He thought he left the bag at a bus stop because it was too heavy.

An aunt decided to leave straight after the meal and i looked out to see her loading up her boot with all my 20 table decorations, she had decided she was going to decorate her church with them. I had purposely used living miniature rose bushes, and these were meant to double up as gifts to the bridal party.

exH's family who don't drink rounded up bottles of champagne and table wine before it got opened and put it in bags. They even said quite openly, we are going to give them to friends as xmas presents when i asked what they were doing.

I am surrounded by utter Narcs.

Oh god, where do I start with what went wrong with my hilarious wedding?

1. My parents were an hour late because they got all mixed up with where they were going (I got married in NYC). We opened the bar early and waited for them, loads of people half in the bag for the function. Mild compared to what followed.

1. A woman at a different wedding reception below ours, decided she was suicidal and jumped into the East River in NY on the night (Jan 2nd). We had paid for the waterside wedding with the Manhattan skyline view. Wedding photos all feature the NYPD auqa reaponse team and searchlighy-shining chopper in them, trying to rescue this poor woman. My mother, with a joint hanging out of her lip and a whiskey and coke in her hand was screaming at the woman, " if you want to die, STOP SWIMMING, you're ruining my daughters wedding photos" .

1. Our wedding photographer got so drunk he fell down,throwing red wine all down the front of my wedding dress.

1. The following day, our wedding photos were subpeoned because a guest had gotten into a fight at a bar afterwards and the police were trying to establish who was responsible for his drunken condition. I had to meet the wedding photographer who spilled the wine down my dress at the local precinct.

For those concerned, the suicide attempt lady was rescued. It made the papers.

My DH was BM at his best friend's wedding. DH absolutely hates public speaking and spent months stressing about it. He stayed stone-cold sober till after the speech, did it brilliantly but then played catch-up with the champagne big-time and was off his face by the end of the reception.

We'd hired a minibus with friends to get home and all 30 of us were sitting, about to leave, when my DH breaks free, runs back into the hotel and, for reasons known only to himself, locks himself in the loo with a bottle of wine and a punnet of nectarines . He has to be talked out by one of his mates and me like hostage negotiators: "Come on DH, you're only making it worse for yourself" while 28 people desperate for their beds wait on the minibus .

Have you been watching Clueless?