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To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

992 replies

doubleshotespresso · 12/06/2013 23:38

So some close friends (who married in church), but now claim to be atheist are holding a naming ceremony for their 8 month old first baby in an hotel.....

The invitation is beautiful with a map, timings "event closes at 11pm"?

The gift list ranges from £30-to £300, all items for the mother, cosmetics, trinkets, jewellery, pampering breaks, personalised hand-bound stationery and photo albums...

Anybody know the drill for these naming ceremonies? Are we supposed to guess a gift for the baby? Or just congratulate the mother for deciding on a name?

I have read this a dozen times and am staggered beyond belief-DP read it and fell into hysterics....

My gut tells me to go along with Jo Malone scented nappies or something.

Somebody please tell me this is not normal?!?!?!

OP posts:
mumaa · 13/06/2013 15:40

Not normal and not something i have EVER heard of.

Either decline, or go with a gift for the baby - for whom the event is supposed to be surely?!

If comments are made say you presumed the gift list was optional - weird!

Lavenderhoney · 13/06/2013 15:56

I've never heard of a naming ceremony. I would just take along the gifts you have already bought, with a nice note saying you bought them before the list came, and would she like to come for lunch soon?

Is there nothing for the dh? I would just ignore the list of treats for her tbh. Seems very odd. Whoever suggested it to her and agreed it was a good idea clearly doesn't like her much it seems to me.

Cravey · 13/06/2013 16:08

Yep it's my opinion no judgement however, as for being rude when I was told to bugger off then I defended myself. Ad yes I know it's not a fact people have the ceremony just for the presents I said that it seemed the op friend was though. Read the threads properly maybe next time. Oh and maybe get off your high horse before you fall. Also re the fact that they are made up things I would like to clarify that christening s are also a made up service for the masses that choose to believe in whatever. I don't like those either.

spatchcock · 13/06/2013 16:18

"Also would like to point out that a naming ceremony is a made up thing that is in no way equivalent to a christening. It was made up for people who want a party and all the gifts. Simple."

"Also re the fact that they are made up things I would like to clarify that christening s are also a made up service for the masses that choose to believe in whatever."

So they are equivalent then?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/06/2013 16:23

Cravey - when you said "Also would like to point out that a naming ceremony is a made up thing that is in no way equivalent to a christening. It was made up for people who want a party and all the gifts. Simple.", I read that as you stating a fact (it didn't come over as you just stating your opinion). However, if this was not your intention, I apologise for misinterpreting what you wrote.

spondulix · 13/06/2013 16:23

"it's my opinion no judgement"

Calling someone's choice 'chavvy' or 'idiotic' seems a leetle judgemental to me. Just my opinion.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/06/2013 16:24

Bugger - italicisation fail.

AntoinetteCosway · 13/06/2013 16:42

Unbelievable!! Please go, just so you can report back. Don't take a bloody present though...

Cravey · 13/06/2013 16:45

Thanks for the apology I was sitting on my hands waiting for it. In all seriousness I don't like them or christenings. Both IMO are a load of old tosh and yes I feel naming days etc are slightly chavvy. However that's just my opinion and if invited wouldn't go. Simple as. If you like them that's your choice. As I unlike some on here respect that choice totally. Op go along with your gift it sounds lovely. If the mother doesn't like it then show her this thread.

Elquota · 13/06/2013 16:49

The purpose of a Christening is to formally welcome someone into the church family. Contrary to popular belief, it's not a naming ceremony - the child already has a name. The baby is addressed by name at the point when s/he is about to be baptised.

A Christening can obviously take place without any particular guests or presents, as I'm sure a naming ceremony could.

MumnGran · 13/06/2013 16:58

Actually, have had a rethink and if they are genuinely close friends - as per the OP - then I would call in for a coffee and ask her what THAT LIST is all about.
I would certainly ask close friends of mine if they did something so abnormal strange rude unusual

saulaboutme · 13/06/2013 17:08

Wow this is the best one yet!
Flaming cheek. I'd be tempted to send an rsvp saying" pmsl" but that would be the end of the friendship...

LittlePeaPod · 13/06/2013 17:16

Oh my god! That raised a smile... No advise for you OP but if it helps listen to this wedding request we got in a wedding invite which i am currently cribbing from.....

On this day, Our special day. We do not know how to say. We have a house and contents too. So presents really wouldn't do. But if a gift you'd like to bring. Then money would be just the thing (no gift cards etc.). We hope this does not cause offence. In our case it makes more sense

I particularly like the brackets specificity no gift cards etc. Grin ha ha ha ha

DF has refused and insists we are buying a present.... Some people just have no shame!

doubleshotespresso · 13/06/2013 17:18

Wow. I had not expected this thread to become so heated!

Just got in from work/ school run so will answer a few queries....

No this is not a joke, I sit here at my desk with the invitation and gift list propped up in front of me. It reads like a society wedding nvitation complete with guidelines for the use of cameras and social media during the event.

The couple in question had what I would call a high-end and very tasteful wedding, they did have a gift list yes, but far less grabby and with typical John Lewis type items, most reasonably priced. It was a fun and personal to them day....

I come from a background where you have a Christening to welcome the baby to the world and the family and invite everybody to the family home for an afternoon tea, maybe Champagne type of affair.

I did not mean a naming ceremony was inferior, no it would not ever be an option for us but just down to personal beliefs etc.

We would never enclose a gift list , it would not occur to us.

So to answer a few more queries, yes I spoke to two other invited guests this afternoon who are both equally blown away by the grabby nature of this and also the prices of things requested. They and their families face the same dilemma as us. Go along, grin and bear it or politely decline? Nobody wants to offend and I feel strongly the baby in question who ought to be the focus of all this is being largely forgotten. She has a sister who moved a few years ago to Australia and one friend believes the suggestion may have come from there.

The event itself yes appears to be based on a wedding reception, Champagne reception and hot fork buffet (Yes I hate them too-either pay for a meal or don't) . Arrangements for drinks later is unclear.

There appears to be lots of "entertainment" scheduled throughout the evening and I know that there will be up to 40 children 10 years and under attending. What they are supposed to do up until 11pm is also unclear.

DP has said today: "I'm not arsed either way really, if you think we should go just let me know? Do I have to wear a suit? Oh and we are not paying for anything other than for the baby if we do go...

Still deciding to be honest..... But have literally spat my tea out at some ofbyour wonderful suggestions! Please keep 'em coming, but please let's steer clear of arguements based on chavvy things, this has been fun so far, help me focus on what to do instead please! Confused

OP posts:
doubleshotespresso · 13/06/2013 17:20

littlepeapod OMG! Where do these people find their nerve? Wow.

OP posts:
skyeskyeskye · 13/06/2013 17:22

When we registered DD's birth, the registrar gave us a leaflet on a baby naming ceremony - the "Civil Wedding equivalent of a Christening" was how she put it....

We had a Christening for DD because a family member had previously lost a little girl aged 3, who had to be Christened on her deathbed or else she could not be buried in consecrated ground in the churchyard. I vowed there and then that any child of mine would be Christened.

We certainly didn't put out a gift list, people bought a little gift, the usual things of ornaments or money boxes or gave money, which was entirely their choice. But to have a gift list for the mother Shock - that is just unbelievable!

doubleshotespresso · 13/06/2013 17:23

mumngran You know what? You are onto something here. We are close enough friends for me to broach this subject with her I think without losing the friendship. We have been there for each other in equal measure in good times and in bad....

I might just do that whilst our boys are football training on Saturday.

OP posts:
LittlePeaPod · 13/06/2013 17:28

double I don't know but it's just so funny... Grin

Elquota · 13/06/2013 17:30

Well done for thinking of broaching the subject with your friend. That makes you a truly good friend in my book. Someone who doesn't just start blanking people when the going gets tricky, but is willing to be honest.

Thanks
doubleshotespresso · 13/06/2013 17:34

skye if you were to see the gifts listed you would think this even more unbelievable.... Travel candles in their own leather (monogrammed) cases? Top of every new Mum's list?

A block of deep tissue massage sessions at a very poncey famous spa?

Or maybe a Handbag or two? There are 3 listed. And they are not cheap. Designer labelled and tagged.

Photography portrait session (for one)

Blah blah blah blah

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 13/06/2013 17:35

Please let us know what happens. Pretty please Thanks

doubleshotespresso · 13/06/2013 17:37

elquota I have decided I will definitely broach this with her. She would die on the spot if she had heard the conversation with these two other friends today.

I made it clear to them she was a great friend and that this was completely out of character.... But I think it would be very disloyal of me to just gloss over it without saying anything...

OP posts:
LittlePeaPod · 13/06/2013 17:37

Photography portrait session (for one).. Ha ha ha ha ha Brilliant!

Lets hope that's for the baby!

middleagedspread · 13/06/2013 17:37

Please report back when you've spoken to her.
It's the most bizarre thing I've ever read.
Sure it's not a joke?

doubleshotespresso · 13/06/2013 17:39

No this is not a joke. A lot of the items on the list are very much the sort of thing she would treat herself too occasionally.....

OP posts: