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Original poster

To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

992 replies

doubleshotespresso · 12/06/2013 23:38

So some close friends (who married in church), but now claim to be atheist are holding a naming ceremony for their 8 month old first baby in an hotel.....

The invitation is beautiful with a map, timings "event closes at 11pm"?

The gift list ranges from £30-to £300, all items for the mother, cosmetics, trinkets, jewellery, pampering breaks, personalised hand-bound stationery and photo albums...

Anybody know the drill for these naming ceremonies? Are we supposed to guess a gift for the baby? Or just congratulate the mother for deciding on a name?

I have read this a dozen times and am staggered beyond belief-DP read it and fell into hysterics....

My gut tells me to go along with Jo Malone scented nappies or something.

Somebody please tell me this is not normal?!?!?!

OP posts:
Primrose123 · 13/06/2013 13:43

I think you should go though, OP, so you can come back and tell us how it went!

Cravey · 13/06/2013 13:52

It's not that I don't like naming ceremonies it's that IMO they are a made up thing for people to still get the presents and have the party. The point being is that it's my opinion and I am entitled to it therefore shall not bugger off as someone so nicely put it.

LadyHarrietdeSpook · 13/06/2013 13:52

A 'hot fork buffet' sounds terrifying. I have visions of red devils and pitchforks all around!

Loving with the word 'foofoo' up thread though.

LittleBearPad · 13/06/2013 14:01

You have to go just to see what happens. Will the mother sit on a throne whilst her guests present their gifts to her...

Definitely DO NOT buy anything from the list. I am Shock. Your present sounds lovely and also appropriate

I wonder if the baby's future birthdays will also be an opportunity for mummy to treat herself!

Pootles2010 · 13/06/2013 14:05

Well in my opinion if you go around belittling people's choices then you will probably be told to bugger off! It wasn't a personal attack on you anyway, or it wasn't meant to be - just get a bit sick of people being rude about it all. I hate the thought that maybe all our friends/family thought this of us, or were saying these things behind our backs Sad

They are a made up thing, they're made up so people can have a nice day and a chance to celebrate their child's birth, without being religious.

ilovecolinfirth · 13/06/2013 14:07

Weird. X

Cravey · 13/06/2013 14:09

Omg are you for real. I did not attack anyone's choices merely stated a fact. Having read your post I get it now pootles. You realise you made an idiotic maybe even slit oh chavvy choice and defend your ideas by telling me to bugger off. Believe me I in no way attacked anyone or anything in my original post but bloody will do now. I don't care if you choose a religious service or not. I also don't care if you have a naming ceremony and plant a bloody tree. I do however think you should have enough intelligence to know the difference between the two.

WhiteBirdBlueSky · 13/06/2013 14:12

It's not nice to call people chavvy.

mosuzu · 13/06/2013 14:13

When we had a naming ceremony it was to have our closest friends and family there (25 people). We spoke about the DC's names and why we had chosen them, introduced their Odd Parents and the Odd Parents each said a few words. The ceremony was about 45 minutes then we all hung out and had a BBQ. It was a lovely day and didn't cost anyone anything.

Pootles2010 · 13/06/2013 14:15

Right... Hmm can't say I considered whether my choice was 'chavvy' (vile word). But to say someone's only had a ceremony to celebrate their child to get presents is attacking it.

I didn't confuse a naming ceremony with a religious ceremony, indeed the difference between the two was the reason for me choosing a naming ceremony!

Floggingmolly · 13/06/2013 14:29

Have a nice day and a chance to celebrate their child's birth
But they presumably raked in a load of gifts and were congratulated on their child's birth 8 months ago, Pootles.
Unless he's the Second Coming a very special child, he must be fairly old hat to everyone except his adoring parents by now. Time to move on.

Sallyingforth · 13/06/2013 14:32

Another one here NOT knocking a naming ceremony. It seems a reasonable thing to do if you are an atheist and want to have a party celebrating the new baby.
But it is NOT the same as a Christening. Where do you think the name comes from?

Cravey · 13/06/2013 14:32

I was referring to the op post when talking about having a party to receive presents. It would seem the choice they are making is about the mother of the child getting what she wants hence the list. And calling people chavvy is certainly not nice, however I was referring to the posters choice not herself. Telling people to bugger off as they don't agree with your choice is also not nice. As for the naming ceremony being a made up thing to celebrate the child then go for it but don't expect others to conform and roll up with a gift etc.

Pootles2010 · 13/06/2013 14:37

Right i'm going to bow out - I think this is an agree-to-disagree one. I would say that most people don't expect a gift, it's clear that the op's friend is a loon, and the rest of us that having naming ceremonies shouldn't be tarred with her loony-ness.

I invited people to my ds's naming day to celebrate with us, I put on a nice afternoon tea for them all, and we had a lovely time. Obviously unreasonable of me.

Cravey · 13/06/2013 15:01

No that's the point pootles it's not unreasonable is it? It's my opinion that's all but you seemed to come across as if you thought I shouldn't be allowed that. I don't like them I think they are a grabby attention seeking thing however you do as you choose. I'm just glad to hear you didn't send a gift list out.

spatchcock · 13/06/2013 15:08

I agree with Pootles, and would also like to say that a naming ceremony can be as diverse an occasion as a wedding or birthday party.

I've been to two naming day parties and BOTH specified no presents. We just ate and drank and had a laugh. At one of them everyone sung a song together and then we all wrote down a wish for the baby and put it in a box. It was really lovely, not 'grabby' or attention seeking at all.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/06/2013 15:14

Craves - you are being exceedingly rude and judgemental. I am sure some people have naming ceremonies 'just for a party and presents', but that is because there are greedy people, not because of naming ceremonies. You could just as well say that some people have a wedding (church or civil) or a christening in church 'because they want a party and presents'.

IMO, naming ceremonies were invented because there are non-religious people who still want to celebrate the arrival of their child, welcome them to the family and give them special supporters (like godparents), without having to have a religious ceremony. What is wrong with that?

Do you believe that people who have civil wedding ceremonies instead go a church wedding 'are just doing it for a party and the presents'?

Your view is very offensive.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/06/2013 15:14

Sorry - that should be Cravey - iPad autocorrect strikes again.

ithaka · 13/06/2013 15:15

I don't think a Naming Ceremony is 'chavvy' - but then, I dislike the use of the word 'chavvy' as to me it has connotations of class hatred.

We had a 'Naming Ceremony' for our last child. We are atheists, so didn't do anything for the first two. However, the third was born after our middle child died and it really needed to be marked in the family and shared with the children, as part of the grief process. Or maybe we are chavs - who cares?

Anyway, whether it is a naming ceremony or christening is irrelevant to the oddness of a gift list for one parent, on a occasion intended to celebrate a child.

LondonJax · 13/06/2013 15:23

To be honest most ceremonies of any sort are attention seeking - after all, to get married you only need two witnesses, for a child to be Christened you only need the parents and Godparents present and at our son's thanksgiving we could have just had us! But I don't know many people who limit their celebration to the absolute minimum. I've been to Christenings where I know the parents will not set foot inside a Church again until their child marries - unless it's by invitation. And that's fine. It's not my business and I'm happy to welcome their child - it's a happy time.

And what's wrong with people who have a naming ceremony? Most are being honest enough to say they want to celebrate without making a false promise.

spatchcock · 13/06/2013 15:29

Love how Cravey has stated that naming ceremonies are a 'made up' thing. Not like Christenings, which are based on the solid scientific fact of religion. Arf!

wickeddevil · 13/06/2013 15:30

Council offered to hold a naming ceremony when we registered dd's birth. TBH I thought it was an attempt by them to raise revenue in these straightened times.
I didn't realise people actually went along with it....
And to think of the pressies I missed Envy

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 13/06/2013 15:31

Also, Cravey - it is not a 'fact' that people only have naming ceremonies just for the party and the presents - it is just your opinion. Of course you are entitled to your opinion, but unless you can produce evidence to back up that claim, you cannot say it is a fact.

ubik · 13/06/2013 15:34

i think a naming ceremony is a lovely idea

i think a gift list for mother and/or baby is crass and grasping

ubik · 13/06/2013 15:37

also the whole 'baby shower' thing which is supposed to be a party organised by your female friends where you can giggle and coo over babygros or something according to some American films I have watched

a friend was invited to a baby shower in Mamas and Papas complete with guest list, warm asti spumante and bowls of twiglets Shock