To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

[doubleshotespresso]

So some close friends (who married in church), but now claim to be atheist are holding a naming ceremony for their 8 month old first baby in an hotel.....

The invitation is beautiful with a map, timings "event closes at 11pm"?

The gift list ranges from £30-to £300, all items for the mother, cosmetics, trinkets, jewellery, pampering breaks, personalised hand-bound stationery and photo albums...

Anybody know the drill for these naming ceremonies? Are we supposed to guess a gift for the baby? Or just congratulate the mother for deciding on a name?

I have read this a dozen times and am staggered beyond belief-DP read it and fell into hysterics....

My gut tells me to go along with Jo Malone scented nappies or something.

Somebody please tell me this is not normal?!?!?!

" .....sailor suits "

...or kilts. Threatening them with wearing "skirts" should end all resistance to a carnation in the buttonhole

My first thought was cravat for old time wedding, tbh. Not bow ties. But then, she could have been talking about kipper ties...

I'm liking the sailor suit and kilt suggestions though!

Are kids today still saying jank and janky?? I remember that being a sort of old school insult back when I was in high school (1998-2001)!

doubleshot I think you need to hie yourself over to this thread I think Fronk may have struck again with that bridezilla's wedding.

PS Don't rule out pink! We had a vague set of wedding "colours" - cream, green, pale pink - which was governed by the fact that DH looks fab in pink and peonies and freesia were in season (and therefore cheap - we did our own flowers).

Came across this thread earlier and got hooked, read all of it and cried in several places- double what a lovely, lovely person you sound. I couldn't be happier for you, what a wonderful story.

I am so going to print off pictures of sailor suits and kilts...... I will leave them by the playstation for maximum effect. You ladies are genius! Much fun to be had he methinks!!!

!Xiaoxiing I will check that Fronk has not struck again!

In the office today and told everybody engagement news- by ten o'clock they had arranged a card and flowers..... Made being in the office much better!

Knickerbockers! They would be perfect

Double congratulations!! What lovely news. Since you became engaged at Greenwich (and not wanting to appear as a DDP at ALL), might I suggest the Queen's House in Greenwich as a wedding venue? I was there at a wedding a couple of years ago and it is just fabulous. If you're not doing a church wedding, I actually don't think I have been to a more stunning civil wedding venue.

Also, I think you need to tell DSD that clearly, pink is NOT the colour of choice for any self respecting bridesmaid or matron of honur, it's peach! Something like this maybe?? Perfectly "on-trend" for someone of her age.

I love this thread, and how everything worked out in a way you never would have ever imagined! When the childrens grandparents so graciously accepted and congratulated you all officially becoming a family, and you especially, to be a mother for her departed daughter's children. The word poignant came to mind.

www.littleeglantine.com/bespoke_pageboy_outfit_peter.html

theweddinggirl.co.uk/wordpress/?p=9398

:o

I hope that made sense!

I am so going to print off pictures of sailor suits and kilts .....
oh, oh ....and seriously chiffon puff for DSD [grins]
(although she may call childline!)

Oh dear God- just read the wedding thread- seriously got palpitations reading it!!!! No just no!

LOVING all the links to sailor suits, knickerbockers and puffy dresses.... Have stored them and will put them to use later...... .....

Queens House IS beautiful yes..... I really need to get thinking about these things don't I ? Never imagined I would be doing this so will have to get some ideas together I guess..... Have no idea yet, but am sure it will be great, as long as all the right people come I am happy..... .

MusicalEndorphins - yes poignant is the perfect word to describe the moment with DSCs grandparents..... I cannot fully put into words how heartfelt and bittersweet it was, I got so tearful when I relayed it to my Mum on the phone that evening and I have worn the bracelet constantly since receiving it... We have decided to invite them as they will have 3 grandchildren being joint Best Men and Matron of Honour..... Have suggested to DP that we give them the option to join us for reception as the actual wedding will be understandably so painful for them. Really would love them to be there, but will make it clear we understand if they prefer not to attend...... I wish I could make it painfree for them, just cannot imagine what a mixture of emotion they must feel, they were just so lovely that it feels right for me to invite them, any thoughts peeps?

We are desperate to do the right and most considerate thing by them....

My Mum ( oracle on EVERYTHING) thinks we should invite them as we have always got on extremely well and they will continue to be part of our lives with or without a wedding..... Am getting myself in a bit of a pickle over this aren't I ?

I read so many things on MN, see so many things in RL that make me question the values and attitudes of people today.

And now this; you have restored my faith in human nature.

Congratulations, you deserve small the Blessings in the world.

Invite them Double, no question about it. Make it clear (not in the invitation but in a conversation) how happy you would be if they would attend all of the event but even some of it, depending on their levels of comfort. I think inviting them is such a lovely gesture that they can only be pleased. They sound like such wonderful people.

from the way they behaved when they heard about your engagement I think they would be most offended NOT to be invited. they love you!

but maybe your DP should speak to them before the official invites go out? along the lines of "of course we want you to be there, and would love to share the day with you, but if any parts it would make you too sad we will understand if you'd prefer to miss those"

???

I can't imagine a scenario where you wouldn't invite them, and give them every mark of respect and appreciation you would show your PILs to be and your own parents. A wonderful thing to do both for your H to be and your stepchildren, and for yourself too - they sound like stars.

Ok good yes.... Thanks.

DP is dropping DSD to them on Saturday for a cinema/ dinner trip so he will have a chat with them and we are thinking of inviting them for a lunch at home in a couple of weeks with both our sets of parents so that we can all spend some time together.

Further good news today.... Friend and baby are sleeping much better and friend has been referred to a consultant who has confirmed her sugar levels are "almost normal" so the pregnancy induced diabetes seems to be responding well to the new diet and is hopefully fading away. She says here energy levels have shot up in the last week and sounds much perkier...

any thoughts peeps? ..... Am getting myself in a bit of a pickle over this aren't I

You could probably write down what I will say without even looking double. lol
Upfront & honest has worked all the way through, for you .... and the grandparents reaction to the engagement shows that you have already handled a very delicate family dynamic with tact and care.
So ...... I would talk to DSC's grandmother quietly, next time you see her, and follow the repeated thanks for bracelet with a genuine, "I really don't know what to do that is best for your feelings? ......etc etc" .....and let them decide which bit they would want an official invitation to.
They will absolutely respect that you are giving them open access, but their own choice.....because they sound like wonderful people, too

Mumngran you are right . They have always been so supportive and approachable, they even sent chocolates when we won the battle to get DSD into her favoured big school. All the persistence paid off (DP initially thought there was no point) and she is very happy there but they really helped picking me up from the station to make sure I could get to meetings at the school etc. and when I first moved in with DP and the kids all those years ago they got me through/backed me up 100% when DSCs put me through the inevitable testing.....

They are wonderful people, the more I write here the more desperate I am for them to come..... Hope they do.... Yes I will choose my words carefully and make sure they do what they are comfortable with.

Oh oh, I missed your first post about your DSC's grandparents. They sound utterly lovely and of course you must invite them - whether they feel they can come or not is not the point, the fact you want them there will make them happy. I'm so glad to read that you all get on so well, it's lovely when that happens. :)

This is the thread that keeps on giving.

How wonderful your DSCs' grandparents sound! I would definitely invite them formally to all of the wedding, ceremony and festivities, and have the quiet word on the side. We did the conversation first with one of my uncles who lives really far (like 3,500 miles) away, he indicated he wouldn't come so we didn't send him an invitation. Subsequently it came out that he was hurt by this omission, because he missed out on feeling involved with our plans and seeing our invitations and so on - he's a real old softie. I still regret not inviting him to this day.

Great news about your lovely friend too!

What lovely inlaws you are going to have and you must must invite them to the wedding. I can understand you thinking they might find it difficult but their grandchildren's father is getting married and I am sure they would want to be there. Most weddings have tears but tbh this couple sound so amazing I am sure they will want to be there and will be able to be but obviously your DF will be best placed to know how to ask them without making it a huge deal and therefore them thinking they aren't really welcome.

That might be the longest sentence ever without punctuation but the words kept coming.

Lovely of them to bring flowers, amazing to bring a bracelet too.

You are step mum to their grandchildren and of course want to welcome you in and be friends.

This has got to be the most convoluted post ever but I am sure you get the idea.

Brilliant inlaws
Generous inlaws
Kind inlaws
Great people

What lovely family you're marrying into, you all deserve each other.