To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

[doubleshotespresso]

So some close friends (who married in church), but now claim to be atheist are holding a naming ceremony for their 8 month old first baby in an hotel.....

The invitation is beautiful with a map, timings "event closes at 11pm"?

The gift list ranges from £30-to £300, all items for the mother, cosmetics, trinkets, jewellery, pampering breaks, personalised hand-bound stationery and photo albums...

Anybody know the drill for these naming ceremonies? Are we supposed to guess a gift for the baby? Or just congratulate the mother for deciding on a name?

I have read this a dozen times and am staggered beyond belief-DP read it and fell into hysterics....

My gut tells me to go along with Jo Malone scented nappies or something.

Somebody please tell me this is not normal?!?!?!

Great news. Any chance of putting on youtube for 24 hours just so we can have a look.

I'm betting he knew full well he had over stepped the mark so far he could no longer see it. And knew he would not stand a chance if it was to go to court.

Congratulations!

and for you. It's great it's all sorted now

Waaaay to go [grins]

DDP didn't really have a leg to stand on without a signed contract, but will be very interested to hear contents of his doubtlessly cringey mail.

I am sure you will be truly glad when this is all over, and do hope that your friends have recognised - as we have - what a remarkable friend you have been in this past week.

You, my dear, are amazing I have read this thread with jaw firmly planted on the floor throughout. Lucky friend for having a friend like you!

Awesome:)

Thanks everybody, I have been literally floating since getting the news..... I was very determined, but never imagined at all that now officially DDP would return the deposit so swiftly or without a fight. Friend was beyond ecstatic when she rang to tell me, I was at work and had to go and walk around the block to compose myself I was so elated.....

So we really are now very close to haing what I now understand to be a relatively normal Naming Ceremony and our friends and their baby will have the day they are happy with and will hopefully remember for all the right reasons.....

thumbwitch and K8middleton thanks for the flowers!

Mumngran well it was not clear cut and I did not want to say before on here, but was really worried about the contract thing.
Friend had been issued with but (thank God) not signed and returned the contract (she couldnt work her printer!)... However, a lot of the services of the planner were detailed (by the very astute hotel manager who clearly saw red flags) in the hotel agreement of which DDP had a copy....

Friend then also paid the deposit over the phone under pressure from DDP to commit to the date and planning I discovered and the email receipt (I requested) stated it was non-refundable.

So legally (have googled and made the ears of a soilcitor friend through work bleed) we were on stronger but flaky ground..... Had lots of ideas of how to deal with it when this blew up and put them all to DP and friends DH in late night crisis talks.... And plumped for the following....... Hope I do not get flamed for my methods, but felt so strongly about my frined being exploited went ahead. Now the money is returned I guess telling you will not jinx things....

Had the now famous skype session with DDP who flat refused to return monies or be cancelled upon. So I constructed and sent recorded delivery our termination letter, which basically dispensed of his services and expressed our intention to take him to a small claims court if we received no response or money within 10 days.

Here is the bit I felt uneasy with... I opened a fresh email account and used DPs business address to send a more formal, more direct legal sounding letter and signed off as friends legal representative. Am aware that posing as a lawyer is illegal but did not refer to myself as qualified or anything etc, just inferred I was offering tentative advice and was hopeful that this would enable DDP to bring matter to a close swiftly amd amicably. (Was designed to put a rocket up him and demonstrate we were serious, we had a soilcitor in mind if he failed to pay up,later) .This is the email (sent hard copy too recorded which he received yesterday)he responded to this morning, so it seems to have worked. Opened at work and had to text instructions to friends DH as to what to say on phone and insist on card refund instead of a cheque we were worried may never clear....

Have learnt that with a bit of googling and sheer determination that throwing in specific legal phrases and jargon really helps when you need a good response from "difficult" business people.

Just realised how long this lost is but figured that many of you would be interested to read exactly how we managed to get the refund.... I have been so edgy since sending both letters and yet so determined that good would overcome all of this. Am still smiling to myself as I type it, I am staring to believe it now....

So there you go, will post details of the yes cringeworthy and frankly damned cheeky final email from DDP in a while....

experimental not a chance. My skype rant is now wiped from DSDs ipad and the ony remaining version is with DP and a memory stick which is now at the bottom of my handbag......

More in a bit ........

Wow.. Well done!

I came across this thread today and have read the whole story (and given the short version to my DH) - amazing. I glad you sorted everything for your friend. I hope your friend realizes how lucky she is to have a friend like you.

Perhaps you can get her to give her first DD your name as a middle name

So the email received today from the DDP was addressed to me (I have to write this to you as you seem to have taken over from me and *(friend) will not return my calls. we requested this as at the start of this friend was too wrecked and emotional to stand up to him and I think embarrassed, so she and her DH asked me to act on their behalf

He dithered on, basically reluctantly "acknowledged" the fact we had cancelled his services and referred to this in the email as "a unique and regrettable occurrence I am unused to...... Nobody has ever cancelled me".

He goes on to reiterate that the event if held without him will be "inferior in presentation and lacking the wow factor"....

Then he uses friends' sister to excuse his "additional added items as I know very well how she likes things to be done and she informed me you would be very happy with her choices and suggestions. Regretfully I am unable to now issue her the finders fee".....

He goes on to say how "inconvenient it is to cancel these things now, my suppliers admire my reputation and will be disappointed too". No s* Sherlock at their prices!

It goes on, quite self-indulgent, we have clearly wounded his bonkers ego and he uses the sister as a defence for pretty much all our quibbles unasked/unauthorised and expensive flowers and entertainment

He requests to speak to friends DH to arrange refund as he would prefer not to talk to me or my friend again..... feeling is mutual DDP

Then he closes with this:

" please note you have chosen to end this arrangement and as a goodwill gesture the requested deposit of £sssss will be returned on a strictly one off basis. My assistant and I will contact ** (friends' sister in Oz) to reassure her she can still enjoy top class events as always before. However, I will be unable to assist you with any future business or events queries due to creative differences and a pleasant working method. I think you understand this and respect my wishes.
I politely request that following this message and the deposit refund telephone call there be no further correspondence as I am very busy with my other clients who are all happy with the service I deliver to them."

So there you go people...... Make what you will of it, I have read and re-read it umpteen times now, discussed at length with friend, friends mother, her DH and my DP. It is inconceivable to me that anybody with the money to pay this guy would actually hie him. He behaves like a very awkward comedy character.... Clearly we are all relieved, but also rattled at the tone of the above email.

It does not at any stage mention the baby all this fuss was for and reads in full as if he has done us all a huge favour.

I have had 3 glasses of red wine tonight and am trying to stay awake until I have drunk enough water to go to bed.

DP taking boys to football in morning so I can have a lie-in, so am staying awake late just because I can...... Not a very rock n roll Friday night, but it is today a wonderful feeling!

DP and I are off to friends tomorrow afternoon (post footie) to join them and both sets of their parents for dinner. Think they are making the gesture as FDH told DP he wants us there whatever time we can make it.

Looking forward to it and my bed!

What a diva he is! You've obviously wounded him, cut to the heart, he is - and you're on his shit-list too. Ah well, what a shame, NOT!

Still can't get over the sister though...

That is an email from someone who has been exposed as a charlatan and con artist and is desperately trying to claw back a bit of dignity by asking that you don't contact him. As if you would!

Bet it hurt to give back the money too! Well done.

Well friend and her DH are due to speak I think either tonight or tomorrow... We are not yet at all sure how much input she had.... But the very idea of the gift list was offensive enough on its own really I think and she has told friends mother that it is a very common practice these days...

Nobody I know thinks it is anything short of shocking and an utter cheek...

Friends DH feels strongly he wants to take this further and prevent anybody else being so badly treated in the future.... We have yet to research the best way forward if at all....

Oscalito charlatan is a very apt word to describe him, I have never come across anybody so deluded and over the top. I imagine he would be too much even for a Hollywood ALister.... The theatrics and attitude are so jaw dropping I would believe anyone that told me he is some sort of sick joke.... Just unbelievable and not at all human....

Well done double. You sound like a fantastic friend. I would love to see that video!

But can I defend my countrymen (and women) against the allegations that this is an Aussie trend? i can't think of anyone who would pull something like this. In fact,the aussie terminology for Fronkton John would be "fucking wanker".

Thank you for keeping us updated, double. Well done :)

"We had a Christening for DD because a family member had previously lost a little girl aged 3, who had to be Christened on her deathbed or else she could not be buried in consecrated ground in the churchyard. I vowed there and then that any child of mine would be Christened."
You see, that would make me vow never to have my child christened or darken the door of a church. Emotional blackmail at its worst.

Sounds like he was acting for your friends sister and planning with her what was going to happen as opposed to your friend whose day it was.

It's completely irrelevant any working relationship he has with your friends sister, and a complete breach of trust to discuss with her because she had nothing to do with the contract between him and your friend.

Anyway I'm glad your friends can close the door on this and go forward and have a wonderful Christening that both your friend and her DH wanted.

Congratulations on getting the refund - his email is laughable.

He clearly thinks his wants and artistic interpretation is more important than those of his clients.

I'm not sure you need to take any further action to prevent him doing this to others. Presumably he mostly does business events - sooner or later he's going to come up against someone who sees him for the deluded charlatan he is and puts another rocket up him.

BTW, don't worry about the legal thing. I once had a row with a former employer who was trying to wriggle out of paying me outstanding wages. I sent him a letter which I copied 'my lawyer' in on. Said lawyer was the person I spoke to on the legal advice helpline that came as a free extra with my car insurance - I got my cheque by return of post! .

Definition of legal rep according to free dictionary:
In its broadest sense, one who stands in place of, and represents the interests of, another.
So given that your friend asked you to act for her, it sounds entirely appropriate! At this point I think you could tell us you went after ego man with a chainsaw and still not get flamed though

Have you Googled the git? There may be websites with reviews of him giving you the chance to add your own reviews.

Hope you are enjoying a blissful and incredibly well deserved lie in OP.

PS you are the best ever at updates... Any chance of one last one to tell us what friend's DSis's final response was?

I too would love to hear about the sister, sounds as if she is as deluded and bonkers as the DDP!

Unfortunately I know that this hasn't been funny for you or your friend, and its even worse that its her sister, but hopefully she will be able to laugh about it in years to come

Found this thread when bfing at 4am and have been working my way through it all morning!

My mum's fave expression is 'try honesty, it really works' and this would seem a classic example re talking to your friend in the first place. You have been truly a great friend. As for Fronk, I was sniggering my way through the wee hours, trying not to wake DH or dislodge DS!

Reckon your rant could be the next Fento-o-o-onnnnn! YouTube hit myself and he'd deserve every minute of it! If sister doesn't deserve to maintain a working relationship with him (and while I was on mumgrans side on hear her out, now we have I reckon she can take a jump) then I'd be so tempted to go for it and I really want to see it

All round.

Tbh I was surprised we got anything when my son was christened.

Go but just take a present for the baby. grabby cow

I fancy some nice treats just for me, as it happens DS s 6 months and poor little sausage hasn't been named.....ponders.