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Original poster

To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

992 replies

doubleshotespresso · 12/06/2013 23:38

So some close friends (who married in church), but now claim to be atheist are holding a naming ceremony for their 8 month old first baby in an hotel.....

The invitation is beautiful with a map, timings "event closes at 11pm"?

The gift list ranges from £30-to £300, all items for the mother, cosmetics, trinkets, jewellery, pampering breaks, personalised hand-bound stationery and photo albums...

Anybody know the drill for these naming ceremonies? Are we supposed to guess a gift for the baby? Or just congratulate the mother for deciding on a name?

I have read this a dozen times and am staggered beyond belief-DP read it and fell into hysterics....

My gut tells me to go along with Jo Malone scented nappies or something.

Somebody please tell me this is not normal?!?!?!

OP posts:
ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 17/06/2013 23:16

Honestly, if you are not being paid fabulously - get talking to some agencies. People like you are invaluable to a business.

Wishing wells - I've only heard of them (in this sense) on a couple of MN threads...where they were taking the P out of people getting them for weddings!

Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 17/06/2013 23:17

Fronk?

OP posts:
Scaredycat3000 · 17/06/2013 23:18

I wouldn't really post the website, that could come back to bite. I would feel great, but ultimately a bad idea. Wait six months then post

catsrus · 17/06/2013 23:21

You go girl! I would absolutely want you on my side in a crisis :-) well done!

BOF · 17/06/2013 23:21
...
Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 17/06/2013 23:25

The wishing well in question looks in the picture to have been borrowed from Disneyland....
So bloody tacky "but we are going to dress it with flowers- and you are creating a GAP by the cake!!" Said the planner.

No dude, I am removing the most offensive thing I have ever seen and think it perfectly normal for there to be a gap where a table ends. Means that folk can reach for napkins instead of their wallets. (Yes that's how I phrased itBlush friend was at this point cowering in my listening with my DSD who has rehashed whole thing for my DP..... "She was sick and gave him bare stress" (think that means I did ok in her opinion Confused

OP posts:
CadleCrap · 17/06/2013 23:30

$1800 for flowers ffs!

HAte to think what the original "budget" was

Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 17/06/2013 23:31

Thanks BOF . I will play that later with a wine......

Sorry above post should read friend was cowering in my kitchen listening with DSD"

OP posts:
InViennaWeWerePoetry · 17/06/2013 23:38

Although judging by the cancellation list, I'm not totally convinced even the Kardashians' bank accounts combined would come out of that one unscathed. How on earth can people afford to hire him?! Confused

Northernlurker · 17/06/2013 23:42

Sounds like you've impressed your dsd too. That can only be a good thing. If she ever gets herself in to trouble with an event planner she'll know who to call........

mumeeee · 17/06/2013 23:46

doubleshot you are a great friend. I've been reading this thread and am glad it's all being sorted out.

Bogeyface · 17/06/2013 23:51

I have always quite like Fronk, but this Fronk? Not so much (in crappy European accent) :o

Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 18/06/2013 00:12

Holy macaroni! Just played the clip..... He looks very different, but Fronk and our "dearly departed planner" (DPs new name for him) share more than a few traits. I may have nightmares tonight!

As for budget, my friend was never asked. . . . But the estimated bill was eye-watering, so much so that DP would not tell the DH until he was here and out of the car on Sunday. . . Just ridiculous. When friend first showed me I felt sick.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 18/06/2013 00:22

But the estimated bill was eye-watering

Thats the worst thing isnt it? The DDP and her sister were both happy to take advantage of a brain fucked new mother who didnt know her arse from Tuesday in order that they could make some money.

I am utterly disgusted at DDP and what I think about the sister......I dont have words for, but I could probably invent a few.

Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 18/06/2013 00:36

bogeyface i went from zero o orbit in seconds when DDP questioned me as to why I was involved.

"Because you and your vile gold-digging tactics have reduced my wonderful, confident friend into a jibbering wreck, who was not even in full knowledge f your trashy plans. Plans of which you have no proof. You have ten seconds to explain to why I should not contact the police and the people you claim are clients in your testimonials...."

OP posts:
Thumbwitch · 18/06/2013 01:11

"Sick and gave him bare stress" - I love that! Don't understand it at all but yes, it sounds good! Grin

Doubleshot - you are a STAR! (And yes, MNHQ, I still think we should have that emoticon.) Well done, that's brilliant - I wish I had the strength you do!

Your friend is VERY LUCKY to have you and her DH standing by her, and I think her sister is going to get very short shrift if she kicks up when she turns up. Wishing that vile leech onto her own sister when she'd just had a baby is the most awful thing to do. Angry

Bogeyface · 18/06/2013 01:20

Another one here who is thinking that sick and bare stress is probably a good thing :o

The DDP questioned your involvement because oh oh!!! here is someone who isnt just going to sign cheques and say "yes yes, whatever..." as your friend was doing. Good for you :)

Original poster
doubleshotespresso · 18/06/2013 01:33

Haha.... Yes DSCs have their own language these days..... We are not supposed to understand...... Though I think bare stress has been adopted by us all now.... We are so not cool....

Baby just gone down again- so I am off to do the same..... And I suspect tomorrow brings the inevitable long distance call from the DH to the sister. She is due to be godmother or equivalent for these things. Very glad not to be making that call..... Friends parents are beside themselves, so sad.

Amyway.... Bed now.

OP posts:
zipzap · 18/06/2013 01:37

Can't believe the sister was on commission and planning to take it! No wonder she wanted the bill to be huge and was probably pushing ddp to go as big and ott as possible, sounds like she was in it much more for the money and the hope of nicking looking after all those nice expensive tasteful presents that the baby might damage and accidentally taking them back to Australia with her than seeing that her sis got a nice reasonably priced happy friendly naming ceremony.

Bogeyface · 18/06/2013 01:44

Well from a purely personal pov, as a godparent is supposed to look after the spititual welfare of the child, I wouldnt want someone in that job if their main focus was the bottom line.

Bogeyface · 18/06/2013 01:45

Oh and OP, better prepare your friend for the fact that the sister will say that she was planning on giving the commission to the child as a gift......

Lavenderhoney · 18/06/2013 05:04

The hotel must be pleased not to have to hand over 10% of all money spent ( final bill) to the planner as well, as that is sometimes usually how planners work as well. ( as they have influence over the choice of venue and bringing future business)

So yes, there is a big chance not only was your friend being billed by the planner, but the planner could have been getting a commission from the hotel.

The sister sounds well, not very sisterly. Glad to hear she is staying in a hotel as well. You rock, OP! :)

SBAustralia · 18/06/2013 05:32

I would take a gift for the baby & leave it at that. Requesting gifts is tacky! I had a shower & people rang my Mum asking if we needed anything so she suggested wipes or cream or baby wash, etc, but requesting gifts, especially for the mother, is rude!

Thumbwitch · 18/06/2013 06:40

SBA - do read the thread. Things have moved on MASSIVELY. If you haven't already got the OP's posts highlighted, you can do that in Customise at the top of the page; it will speed up the story. :)

MumnGran · 18/06/2013 06:40

Just sticking in a word of caution here ......before the sister is permanently hung out to dry.
At the start of this thread, double's friend was lambasted from here to eternity until the real story was uncovered. Perhaps we should give the sister the benefit of the doubt, until she has spoken with people. They are close enough as a family that she has been chosen as a godparent. We know OP's friend is a lovely person, ergo ....the sister may not be quite the bitch that the surface facts present.

We know that the sister recommended the party planner ....but (I think) that is all we do know. Not sure of the content of the short phone call (?) or of her reaction beyond initial shock and (presumably) defensiveness because she did recommend.
She could be totally stunned by his excesses. She may have declined any commission for the recommendation, or be unaware that any would be paid. She has used him before for corporate work, knows he just gets on and does the job, and possibly thought that what her sister needed was someone to take the strain of organisation totally from her shoulders.
She may be horrified by the state her sister is in, stunned by the planners flights of fancy in a non-corporate setting - and suffering horrendous guilt that she played any part in the mess. Until they sit and down and talk openly, we can only surmise.

I am NOT defending her. Have been as horrified as everyone else by the insanity of these plans. Just saying - as I did with original input over the gift list - that it doesn't pay to judge until all the evidence has been heard.

Still rocking, double!