Have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?

[TastesLikePanda]

Inspired roughly by a couple of threads recently...
I used to have a friend (used to being the operative) who would come round to my house to smoke. Her reason being that she didn't want her house to smell like smoke and she didn't like smoking in the street as she thought it looked 'common' (her words)

The punchline being that I didn't smoke
That friendship ended when I saw the light and realised that she was using me! She was happy enough to make my house stink and I was too polite (at the time) to ask her not to as I thought I was being a welcoming host.

Has anyone encountered anyone with more brass neck than that?

Nowhere near on par with Mexico man but years ago in our old place we asked BIL (OH's bro) to pop in every few days and top up the cat's dry food / scoop the pooh out of the litter tray, put fresh water down etc.

We offered him to stay (he lived at home) but he didn't want to.

All was fine, we went away for 2 week. Came back to house / cat / everything as it was left.. or so we thought.

A few days after we returned I found a flyer for a missing cat! My fucking cat. Tackled BIL and he said she escaped? Was only gone overnight etc...

Upon changing the bed for the first time after we got back -I'd left clean sheets the day we went - I found not one but 3 used condoms down the side of the bed.

It transpires that BIL had let a friend and his GF live in our house for a week of the time we were away. They'd lost our cat (granted they did find her again) and although they'd done a brilliant clean up job we still spent a week in a dirty bed shudders

Oh and the icing on the cake BIL had charged them £250 to stay in our house! We had that back off him when he confessed.

He charged them??!'

My DHSis is a strange mix of entitled/hard done by. Tight as a gnat's (freaks out if you throw away used teabags/manky leftovers and takes vegetable parings out of my DM's bin home to reuse) and incapable of pitching in without a drama (when asked to stack the dishwasher, said, 'Oh, but I don't know how they work'/when asked to put a plastic bag in the kitchen bin for the rubbish and shown where the random collection of bags from Sainsbury's, Tesco's etc was, said, 'Which one?').

One Summer, we were all staying in France for her son's wedding inc my DHBro who lives in Oz. A group of us decided to go for a meal in one of those restaurants with long tables outside under an awning. We all sat down but no sign of DHSis even though she'd walked down with us. 20 mins later, we'd all ordered and DHSis turned up with a baked potato in foil from a street vendor. She sat at the table and tried to eat said potato with plastic fork. Waiter said, 'Pardon, madame, but you cannot eat your street food here'. She tried to argue the toss with him before reluctantly leaving and eating it standing up about two feet away from the end of the table in the street before sitting back down with us and watching us eat our meal. We couldn't believe she hadn't budgeted for the odd family meal out during her own son's wedding (sold her house for a fortune recently so not hard up). Then, at the end of the meal, my DHBro - I will always love him for this - offered to pay for everyone anyway. HAHA!

Now whenever she visits my DM at the same time as us, my DH says she's getting a baked potato. She winds him up because he always cooks a fabulous family meal and she looks at it and moans cos he hasn't pandered to her exact dietary restrictions. She always finds out when lunch is so that she can get there in time for the free food, never brings ANYTHING even tho my DM is in her 80s and cared for her late husband (my and my DHSis's DF) for years single-handedly and then has the cheek to look at the mashed potato with a sad face and say, 'Has that got butter in it?' Yes, you mad mare, it's got butter in it; there are 8 of us here and we've all shopped, cooked and will, no doubt, wash up while you limply say, 'Can I do anything to help?' knowing full well the answer will be no as you are so useless.

I have one. A colleague of mine is a classic scrounger. Never has money always expects us to pay for her etc.

Twice I've been caught out and have ended up paying for her dinners because she hasn't got cash. Or hasn't got enough in her account. But still finds enough to buy at least one designer bag every 2 months.

We all went to a ticketed event a while ago. £45 per person for dinner and dancing. I bought all tickets for our table on my card. And want email round to group saying that once they'd paid me they'd get their ticket. 9 of the ten paid within 2 days. Colleague doesn't pay. Day before event she demands ticket. I demand payment. She has no money. It's been spent on dress shoes hair make up etc for the do. I reiterate the no money no ticket rule.

She throws a complete hissy fit. But still doesn't pay me. Day of party still no money. I've still got ticket.

Give her until 5pm to get me the money. Still nothing.

She turned up at the event. Met everyone else there had pre drinks. I still had her ticket (which my dh had said he'd use if she didn't pay). Asked her for the money. She didn't have it. So dh came with us instead.

2 months on she's barely spoken to me since.

I do love this thread :o

I now have some experience of cheeky feckers.

There are a few threads about the experience.

But the gist of it was, we bought a house. It had a field. And in that field lived two horses (horse A and horse B). We were told that they would be gone on completion.

Then two weeks before we were due to complete (after 2 months of delays, and with a newborn, desperate to get in to our home) we go for one last look around, and the owner says, "I don't think the horses have anywhere to go. They can stay, can't they?"

We mumbled, "not really", but braced ourselves for the seemingly inevitable. It was explained that horse A belonged to the owners, but in return for letting her have a horse there, horse B's owner looked after horse A, and they had gifted their horse to her as they left.

So we turn up. Two horses in the field, and no clue who the owner is.

Now the house was a state. It was horrendous (like something even Kim and Aggie would avoid). So we spent the first few weeks filling skips, ripping up floors, trying to make the place habitable. Every day we are there, but still no one comes to mention the horses.

After 3 weeks, my dm came to help, and as she left she bumped in to someone feeding the horses (henceforth known as UW), and told her to go up to the house and introduce herself.

She does. And UW spins us a story of generosity and kindness. Horse A is 30 years old, a stallion, and never broken. He was abandoned in the field by his owners, a group of kind passers by secretly took on his care. Eventually UW arranged with the owners that she would care for him and bring in a horse as company.

We are touched by the tale of a community coming together to help. So we agree that the horses can stay over winter. Then we'll review it again, as we may want to use the land ourselves (!)

All seems fine, UW seems nice.

We carry on.

A month or so later (once we are slightly less busy) we try to go for a wander in the field. The horses are pushy and not nice. We realise we can't use the field while they are there. But it's only November.

Then the trouble starts. Long story short, we find UW parks on our drive daily (blocking us in), states she uses one of our sheds for feed and takes it over, lets her dogs shit in my garden and is generally a nightmare.

In January we served notice (still giving till the end of march but no longer). UW (unreasonable woman) goes mental, "you'll kill him!" She cries, "if he moves he'll die!"

But with MN behind me we stood firm, and with RL (reasonable lady) on the scene - the original founder of the group of saviours - we start to think we might stand a chance.

It was long and protracted and dh was awesome, and MN was awesome.

We never got a word of thanks from UW for all those months of free grazing (and we paid for the water to the field too!). UW is still leeching off somebody, since she refuses to pay for grazing, and is a loon.

But thank god, on a wet and windy day, they came and took them. And they survived.

I'm sure I've missed loads out, but that's the condensed version (the full 3 threads are astonishingly in classics).

MN saved my field, and I go there every day. The wildflowers are beautiful. And we have otters!

Wildflowers and otters - sounds like paradise! I followed your other threads, FuckYou, and they were awesome.

Thanks, Father :o

MN was awesome. Without the reassurance that I wasn't being unreasonable I might still be unable to wander over there.

I wonder what happened to the disabled little boy? &

I thought the same thing, Steam, when I read that post. (You mean the brain-damaged little boy left alone to cry by a tenant, right?). I thought the OP should have phoned social services on the father because that's horrible. Lucky as he was to have had a kind neighbour in the OP, what about his long-term well-being? Poor little thing...

It's taken me 3 days to read this!

Thanks so much, it's been totally amazing to hear all the stories of these amazingly bulletproof people!

That's the one Avery.
I just hope that the father has come to realise that his actions were wrong & now has help with raising his son.

I love you all on here. All of you. My god, the things people have tried on with you all!

Name changed for mine. Was on a hiring panel for a job a few years back - not in the organisation I worked for, but in one I was associated with, so there would have been no reason for anyone applying to know in advance that I was on the hiring panel.

Of the applications we received, one claimed to be my assistant (I don't have an assistant) and another claimed to have been in my post before I was in it (there was nobody in my job before me as my particular post hadn't yet been created). You can imagine my as I read through the forms.

Thing is, it's not even as if I'm some kind of high-flyer - I have a specific but fairly low-to-middle-ranking admin post. If you are going to lie like a rug on your job application forms, at least make it spectacular: "senior field agent handler with Her Majesty's Secret Service", "lead soprano at La Scala", "lion tamer", etc etc.

Threw me a bit, though. I felt a bit naive at being surprised that people lie like this!

And yes, half the stories involving kids here, I'd have been on the phone to social services.

Another one: was recently at a very naice historical event with a big tent selling quite pricey English Heritage souvenirs, jams, booze, etc. There was a station with a bowl of cracker pieces, and a long line-up of the dozen types of expensive jams and chutneys they sold, each with a little wooden disposable spatula - the idea was you'd use the spatula to smear a little of the jam on a bit of cracker to try it before buying a jar. All the crackers were gone, and there was a little girl, no adult in sight, using the spatula from one jar to eat the jams she liked. She then sucked the spatula clean, stuck it back in one of the testing jars, and ran off.

I called the lady behind the trestle over and suggested she might want to replace the spatula, because of the vigorous dribble-soaked double-dipping of the little girl, and she rolled her eyes and told me that a woman with five kids had come in, parked the kids in front of the jam/cracker station, told them to fill their boots, and then she had buggered off. The kids only started to drift away when all the crackers had gone.

FatherDickByrne I, too, warm to your DHBro and his deep pockets and his sense of mischief.

I'm reading all this thinking (like a few people it seems) thank god I don't know anyone like this... and then another post reminded me:

My sister and her husband flew to our wedding (as a surprise) which was in another country. I had moved overseas and our wedding was in my husbands home state (MidWest), but we lived in another (South).

1. Neither she nor her husband wanted to rent a car so my fiance had to drive them around to entertain them while we were trying to finalise things for the wedding as everything before this had been done via telephone, email or thanks to DFIL.

1. On the night before the wedding, DSis and I stayed at my MIL's house, and her husband and my DF stayed at a friend of DF's. 2am on the morning of our wedding my sister woke me to tell me her DH didn't want to stay at the friends and my DF was driving them to their hotel, in another town over 15 minutes drive away (that's okay, I don't need to sleep and neither does the groom!)

1. The morning of the wedding DSis and DBIL forgot the speech she was supposed to give at the reception for my DP's who couldn't attend so (new) DH and I had to drive them to their hotel (still another town away) to pick it up (wedding dress and all).

1. The day after the wedding their flights weren't leaving for a couple of days and it wouldn't be "fair" to them if we left for our honeymoon right away, they had traveled internationally after all

1. I heard from my DM later that they complained about how boring it was where the wedding was, and that I was mean to my DH (they overheard PART of a disagreement and fashioned it to their liking).

1. We later bought a house in DH's hometown (where the wedding was) and DSis will tell anyone who will listen that we live "in the boondocks" (when people ask about why we have a mortgage and they still rent - our house doesn't "count"). Their only experience being the days leading up to our wedding when we had stuff to do!

Still DSis, my DM came to visit a couple of years ago. First international trip, ever at 50+ y/o. DSis didn't want to tell me DM was visiting at all, wanted it to be a surprise. Income is different here so I really needed the time to save and thankfully I got it.

When DM returned home DSis told DM in the car leaving the airport that DF wasn't well (I knew, he'd taken a turn and DF wanted her to enjoy her holiday so she wasn't told) so DSis PUT HER ON A TRAIN to our home town. It would have been a 2.5 hour drive and was a 4 hour train ride instead... worrying about her husband :S

Yeah... she takes the p*ss a lot now I think about it!

Phew got to the end!

It's taken up my entire day but has been well worth it!

I once had an ex who was living in a house share with his friend. His friend was horribly unreasonable to him and they'd had a massive fall out. If been with him a couple of years then and had a well paid job so I told him he could move in with me and keep on paying his rent in his house share until the tenancy agreement was up (in two months) and then after that we would share the rent at my house. All fine, but when the two months was up he carried on not paying anything despite constant reminders. He lived with me for 6 months claiming poverty (I had a good job and could afford it but wanted it to be fair) while having bits of car delivered to my house so he could improve on his boy racer mobile.

Eventually I came home from work and turned on my computer (had been left on and the screen turned off) to find that he had been using my electricity, my computer and the internet that I bloody paid for in my house that he didn't pay any rent toward to go on a renowned site for people who wanted to have affairs!!!

He was very put out to find his clothes packed in suitcases on the doorstep and the latch on when he came back from one of his boy racer meet ups.

He left his cat saying if he took her he'd have to take her straight to a shelter. But if I kept her he would get her again when he had sorted perminent accommodation. That was 3 years ago. I still have the cat.

I kept his tumble drier though.

He once asked for it back and I told him that once I'd gotten the 6 months rent and bills that were owed and he collected his cat he could also collect his drier.

He never did bother.

The cat is like part of the furniture now and I do quite like her :)

The thing is, the cheeky graspers are so cunning, aren't they? I was on a group walk followed by pub lunch. Bill came, was passed around, everyone looked at what they'd had, put in the right amount of cash (often rounded up, mostly with 10% added for tip). I happened to notice that one of the group was avoiding looking at the bill, and hadn't put any money in. The group leader totter up the money, counted it once, counted it twice, said 'that's odd, we're short' - and it wasn't till she looked around and explicitly said 'someone hasn't paid' that the woman pretended she hadn't been aware the bill was going round, and coughed up. She'd been hoping that the 'rounding up' of 14 people would give her a free meal.
The next walk we were both on, I noticed that she went up to the bar with me and stood very close to me when I bought my drink. There was no question of me offering to get her a drink as I would for anyone else, but I'm pretty sure that's what she expected me to do. She looked a bit cats bum face and when I pulled out a £20 to pay, made a snarky remark about 'nice to have that kind of money'. Haven't got any time for her.

I know of a guy who, when someone bought a round, would go to the bar to help carry some drinks. Then when he got back to the table, he would act as though he had bought at least half the round.

A now-ex friend had debt problems and I lent her 500 quid to pay off one that supposedly she had debt collectors after her for. She said she'd pay me back in installments and that was fine.

She took me out to dinner a week or so later at a pub, one of those cheap two meals for 15 pounds deals, and a couple of drinks. Nice, right? Not really. When I asked her for her installment on the loan she insisted she'd paid me back already. With the dinner. Not only was she not going to be giving me the installment, she insisted that she no longer owed me any money at all.

I never did see any of that money back. I found out later that she had used it all on partying and never paid the debts at all. Needless to say she's no longer my friend.

I love that this thread just keeps on giving I'm also glad that I now know the full story of the legendary mexican house thief!

I have another story to add up the bat shit crazy family pile. So, my ex BIL had been unemployed for a long time, and miraculously (because he was a lazy sod) managed to get a job, but it was out in the sticks and he needed to drive to it. I had a brilliant car at the time, but I rarely used it. BIL asked if I'd sell it to him within the next few days so that he could start this new job, and my ex pressured me into it. It was worth £2k but I agreed to sell it to him for £1k as he was pretty skint. He gave me £350 right away and was to pay the rest out of the next couple of months wages.

What actually happened was that he wrote my pride and joy car off within the week!! He then claimed the full £2k it was worth from his insurance company and kept the bloody lot because he still needed to get a new car to get to work, and I didn't need a car. My ex agreed to this without even having discussed it with me!! I didn't see another penny from him.

In my defence I no longer put up with such bullshit, and I escaped from this family of twats

My friends, a married couple, asked me to go on holiday to a festival with them. I initially agreed, and bought a ticket, and then I backed out after she (female friend) made it clear that she expected me to pay for half of everything, effectively subsidising their flights, transport, accommodation, eg. if the transport was 300 for 3 people I was to pay 150. She justified this by saying that as a married couple they were one entity, as was I, as a single person. She also justified it because they have a daughter and I am childless. They both individually earn more than me (not that it would make any difference, unless I was rich, in which case I'd be happy to pay). I backed out of the trip and said I couldn't afford it. She was hurt that I'd changed my mind, but it didn't seem to occur to her why I couldn't afford it. I'd already bought a ticket but ended up flogging it on ebay.

Should have realised they would be like that after several occasions when they invited me round for dinner and said they would do the food and asked me to bring the drinks, so I got enough wine or beer for 3 people and we had a jacket potato and a fishcake. Recently she's asked me if I want to meet up. 'Great, shall we go out?' I say. 'No, can I come to yours at 7, trying to save money' she says. I say 'Ok, fancy a takeaway or a pizza?' She says 'Can't afford, but can come to yours for dinner and are you up for cooking something, maybe salad and burgers?'

Is she being cheeky? I think so but am not very confident right now after v recent abusive ex and I keep getting confused and wondering if I'm in the wrong. Also told her about the abuse (serious stuff and not appropriate for this thread) a month ago, and she didn't even reply. Asked her why she didn't reply a few days ago. She said sorry, there is a lot going on in her life, that she does care about me, but she still didn't ask how I was. Damn, it's making me angry writing this, but I am so scared I'm just being a horrible entitled person because I haven't got kids :(

misty, this couple are not friends. They are cheeky, user, pisstakers.

Inviting themselves round for dinner and telling you to cook, the trip, etc.

Keep making excuses and find people who are not users.

Do NOT subsidise them anymore.

Gobsmacking thread! I really can't think of a tale to add, though. The thing I'm worried about now (after reading the entire thread instead of doing housework) is that I can't decide whether I truly have just lovely friends who would never do things like this or if I'm just a great big mug who can't see when she's been taken advantage of!