Have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?

[TastesLikePanda]

Inspired roughly by a couple of threads recently...
I used to have a friend (used to being the operative) who would come round to my house to smoke. Her reason being that she didn't want her house to smell like smoke and she didn't like smoking in the street as she thought it looked 'common' (her words)

The punchline being that I didn't smoke
That friendship ended when I saw the light and realised that she was using me! She was happy enough to make my house stink and I was too polite (at the time) to ask her not to as I thought I was being a welcoming host.

Has anyone encountered anyone with more brass neck than that?

I felt the need to revive that thread !! Can someone beat the mexican story ?

I first read this when it had only got as far as the Mexican House Thieves. Have just spent two hours catching up!

i had a friend when i was younger who who said she'd share the (expensive) taxi back home with me from a club. anyway, at approximately midnight she buggered off, nowhere to be found. after several desperate attempts to contact her, i gave up about an hour later and went home, worried.

at 5am i got a phone call. seems this friend had met some guy and gone to his for a shag. however, when she got to his, his mum and grandma were still up and instead of a night of passion, they all had a nice chat in the living room. So she wanted to tell me she was 'weirded out' and coming back to mine. When she turned up at 6am, she 'suddenly remembered' she had no fare and made me pay, then promptly climbed straight into my (single) bed to sleep it off!

that friendship ended when i found her in bed with my boyfriend and swore i was just seeing things, so i guess 'cheek' was her forte!

oh and another one (clearly have mug written on my forehead). Got a text from a girl i didn't know all that well from uni, asking if i could look after her gerbils because she was going on holiday the next day and she was DESPERATE and I was her last hope etc. etc.

Went round to collect them about an hour later, and to my surprise her and her bf were clearly shagging on the living room floor, even though i'd texted to say i was on my way. Anyway she swore and scurried upstairs sharpish and he put his pants on and handed us the gerbils with food etc.

When they got back from holiday, i didn't hear anything so i text asking 'when do you want me to bring the gerbils round?' she told me she didn't want them back, and if i brought them back she'd only let them loose in the wild and cats would probably eat them.

ended up taking care of the things until they snuffed it about 2 years later! (never spoke to her again though!)

Oh yes! Our neighbour, single mum, worked in hospitality,so crap hours, has a dd same age as ours. She asked if we could look after her one day as her dm, who babysat, was away. Ok. Three blooming years later still doing this, taking her out, giving her meals. (I know, soft in head) This stops eventually, but one evening poor kid comes round, mum not in. Ok come in and wait. Gets later, later, kid in tears, mum not answering. She goes and bunks up with dd. (school night btw) I'm ringing round, mum eventually answers phone, she has pissed off for night with new bf, expecting her 16 yr old son to babysit, but he was also working till late. Poor kid shows up at ours after, but we left his ds where she was as she had cried herself to sleep. Mum shows up next day after shag fest and got hard stare. Never talked to her since.

We had a tenant once who locked his severely brain damaged little son in his cottage every day and went to work. I used to hear him crying - and so looked after him along with my three under threes. When he finally moved out he cleared the shed of all my kids surf boards and other outside toys.

My friend left me with his twins while he nipped to the shop and instead fucked off into town and got hammered.

I rang the twins mum and her own mum came round and went batshit crazy because i was 7 months pregnant with my second and had had my daughter prematurely, And because of the obvious sheer fucking cheek.

this really deserves a bump

haha, these are brilliant!

DC had been begging me for a playdate with a child in the class, so I sent the mum a text saying we were happy to have her DC over on Tuesday, got a spare booster seat etc so could pick up straight from school. At the end of the message I made it quite clear that we live half an hour away so if her DC came to play someone would have to collect at tea-time ish.

Got response saying Tuesday is fine so all good to go.

So Monday night comes and I'm feeling a little antsy that no requests have been made to find out where we live/directions so I send her another text with directions. Get a reply saying, oh yeah, about that, actually I can't collect DC after all, can you drop off after the play date?

I said, no, sorry, I work from home in the afternoon and am already out of the house 7am-3pm and am not traipsing out again at 6pm for an hour's round trip with a tired grumpy child, when at that time I'm normally in my pyjamas and eating dinner

Get another reply saying, oh but i've only got a 2-seater car on Tuesday so it will be impossible.

I reply saying, it's sounds as though it's best if we leave it til another day when you can collect and she replies saying she can't possibly postpone it as her DC is so excited about it!

I stuck to my guns and said well sorry I am unable to drop off so let's see if you can manage to make alternative arrangements. She turned up in a taxi at dinner time and no further play dates have been arranged since!

Let some guy stay with me who was about to be made homeless. He stayed a couple of weeks, then to thank me he stole my credit card and went on a rampage of strippers and booze, according to the cc statements. Luckily I got the money back from the bank but still.

Oh just thought of another kind of weird one that happened years ago. I went to a party that a friend was organising and took my portable CD player boom box thing for the music back when those things were fairly expensive. I spent the night in the party house but in the meantime another guest who I didn't know (friend of a friend of a friend) decided to take a taxi home but didn't have any money. So she took my CD player and gave it to the taxi driver in exchange for the lift!

Next morning I found out what had happened from other friends, got her address from them too, and drove over to her house. When she answered the door I walked in and asked for my CD player back and she lied and said she had loaned it to someone else. So I saw her much nicer CD player sitting in a corner of her lounge and said "fine, then, I'll just take yours for now and when you get mine back we'll swap!" Before she could react I grabbed her CD player and walked out, threw it in my car and drove away .

I was extremely proud of myself and felt I had "won". However, a week later I got a phone call from her mother. Apparently this poor girl had been in a car accident and was in a coma. Her mother wanted her to have some music in her room and had heard I had "borrowed" her CD player! I was skeptical but drove round to her mothers house and it turned out to be true. The mother assumed I was her daughter's friend and kept ringing me with updates on her health. When the daughter came out of hospital she wasn't quite right still and I ended up visiting her loads, taking her out to lunch, and trying to help with her recovery as much as I could. Apparently all her other "friends" had abandoned her and I felt sorry for her, even though the only connection we had was thieves of each others' CD players! Of course I never got mine back but I paid for plenty of lunches, films, and other days out instead.

One neighbour is a holiday house. They don't use the house all that often. They left a set of keys with another neighbour, just in case they ever forgot theirs/emergencies etc.

One weekend they came to use the house and found other neighbour in their shower. They changed the locks sharpish....

My own sister was on her uppers as a skint student nurse living in a grotty bedsit. I was equally skint, but I still lent her my only TV as I figured I had a radio to listen to (back in the early 80s pre-internet). When she had a windfall and was moving into a nicer place I asked for my TV back... 'Oh' she said 'I sold that ages ago'

I have loved these- I've wasted hours reading them. I have one to add:

My DSSis has always gone to her MIL's house for Christmas, this suits the whole family. It turns out that after the first couple of years her mum (i'll call her Chris) started to mention that she was lonely at Christmas, that her son was busy with his own family, that she didn't want to disrupt anyone. Obviously Chris was invited by the MIL to Christmas.

Chris arrives, enjoys food and drink. Then realises that she 'forgot' to arrange a lift home & can't drive after drinking. MIL says she can stay...and happily Chris finds she has enough tablets and make up to see her through the night...and most of Boxing Day.

A year later, Chris asks when she should arrive for dinner and can she stay over again as they were so kind to invite her last year- amazingly MIL agrees! This time Chris is still there the day after Boxing Day- MIL tells her she'll need to sort herself out as she needs to go to work.

The finale to this was last Christmas. Whole family arrange to go away together- Chris is invited, even though her ex-husband and his wife (my DM) are organising it. Chrs refuses, but finds an invitation from her son is still not forthcoming. She changes her mind, but now can't book in with everyone else and needs to book a cheaper option in the same place.

Once she arrives, Chris persuades DM and ex-husband to swap accommodation, as she 'has a terrible sense of direction' and will get lost away from everyone else. So DM ends up out of nice apartment with a little kitchen and in a 1room chalet.....

I don't think Chris would think she has anything unreasonable!

what a great thread. we need an update on the Mexican house thief.

I have my own recent, relatively modest one to add. we live on a street with individual houses with their own drives, most have gates right up to the road edge. so there isn't really anywhere to easily pull over and stop. except mine and neighbours house which was have a bit of an indent, cut in half to make 2 drives and the entrances set back from the road a bit. hence we often get people pulling in across the drive, dropping people off, checking directions etc. doesn't really bother me too much as the drive is actually long enough for three cars between us and the neighbours and people normally just move and wave sorry as soon as I cone out of the house to get in the car.

anyway, the other day, a guy pulls in across most of our drive, leaving a tiny gap at the back randomly as he had swung in at speed and started making a phone call. I could see him out of the kitchen window and was about to go out to take DS to a party (for which we were already late). no probs I thought, by the time we get out there and loaded up he'll see me and move. or even just move up a bit across neighbours drive so I can get out. as I come out I can see him in profile on the phone. he turned round and looked at me, opening the car doors, and turned back to face forward still on the phone. I loaded DS in, swung round to drive off, did an extra 4 point turn to actually get to face the drive area as he was blocking some of the space I normally use to turn round. eventual got to facing forward right in front of him, side on. still no movement. he looks at me again then looks forward. I move forward towards the small gap at the back, not wide enough for my car, expecting him to move forward a bit, which he could easily do whilst on the phone. still nothing.

So I beeped my horn once. His response was to slowly wind down his window and say ......... "Can't you see I'm on the phone!?". I'm afraid the red mist descended at this point so I slammed my fist on the horn and kept beeping him. He then reversed his car to entirely block the drive, got out of his car (still on the phone!) and came over to my open window and started shouting at me saying, " once, once, you only needed to do it once!" Beep the horn I guess he meant. I told him to get off my fucking drive and he started squaring up to me. He obviously thought I was alone on the house and he folded his arms and leant against the car as if to say no woman is telling me what to do. still ranging about why did you beep me, can't you see I'm on the phone etc.

At this point my DP and DB who were in the house came out and told him to move. He got back in his car and pulled forward a bit so I could drive out, swearing at me as I went past. When I got back, they told me he had just pulled forward across the neighbours drive, told them to "control your woman" and then got back on the phone.

Then the woman next door leaned out of her window and repeated the "get off my fucking drive" message at which point he apparently put on a very hard done by expression and drove off.

I couldnt believe that this guy felt hard done by and clearly thought we were all in the wrong.

Recently, between viewing, buying and moving in to a new property my friends new neighbour had erected a huge garden shed so that the entrance of the shed is in his garden but the actual shed is in my friends new garden! She has asked him WTF ? and he said it has always been there but she had taken photos of the garden to send her Mum. She has her mate and her brother coming to take it down and throw it back over this weekend if it's still there! Cheeky bugger!

Bloody Hell Fid

I loaned my friend £17 (may sound like a paltry amount of money, but we were skint students at the time). Had to chase her for months to get it back, until one day when I were round at her house, she hauled a bin bag full of one pence pieces into the room and then told me I was being ungrateful when I refused to take it as payment.

Again, as a student, my next door neighbours were having a loud party. I was sitting in my living room watching tv with my housemate when three random girls came in through our back door, sat down and joined us . "The party's next door" I said. "We know," one of the girls replied, "but it's getting a bit raucous there though, so we thought we'd come here and chill out for a bit."

When we moved to the north of Scotland ftom England my ILs would just phone us up whilst we were at work and leave a message on our answer phone to say they were coming to stay from such a day - usually within a week. So they may leave a message on a Monday to say they were arriving Thursday for instance. No asking if this was ok or convenient.
They were cheeky buggers because they would phone us like thus just before setting off as they would stop off at a few places on the way up. This was 15 yrs ago and they didn't even have a mobile phone fir us to say actually we have other plans can you come on X date instead.
Once with us they expected hotel treatment. We would come home to Mil saying "oooh I popped to your lovely butchers today and picked up 4 fillet steaks, then fil ran me into the village and we bought mushrooms and cream and veg. We see you have brandy in so thought we could have Steak Diane tonight". Fine. Nuce. But why wait until we get home at 7pm after 13 hour day for us to come home and cook it ffs. The thing that annoyed me us how they dressed it up as if going to the butchers was doing us a favour. They wanted us to cook them a full on meal when normally in the week it was a pre prepped meal out the freezer at best or pizza. This still bugs the shit out of me 15 years later.

We asked lots of times for them to get tea on and would phone as leaving work asking this but no. All they ever did was go shopping for elaborate ingredients/meals and expect us to it cook for them every night.
It caused a massive hooharr the time I stopped at the chippy on the way home and just shoved their shopping in the fridge.

Loving all these 'cheeky fucker' updates!
Fidelia, yours is awful! I'm so glad you complained about her.

One Sunday morning SIL phoned to ask DH to go over to therirs to take their DS to the hospital. Sounds reasonable until you realise the hospital was less than 400 meters away ( seriously) it was a non emergency case and we lived 18 miles away and it was 7,30 in the morning AND her DH was upstairs asleep in his bed!
When I said what do you think you are playing at she said 'oh Dave always helps us out when we are stuck'

I hung up!