To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

:(

Actually I take my hat off to both you and lemon drizzle cake lady as I completely failed to produce anything at all for yesterday's cake sale. Just slipped my mind and then couldn't be arsed to scrabble around trying to make or even buy something. And to compound my crime I didn't even buy any cakes as ds goes to after-school care on a Tuesday.

If you are reading lemon drizzle lady - I'm sure your cake is perfectly lovely and don't take this thread to heart.

BAsically, I'd be expecting her and her PTA mates are going to turn up with a skinful of these tomorrow. And some big knives.

sod the cakes I would pay £££££ to witnessne next time you 2 meet face to face. Sell ticketd. Fund raising job done!

getouef.

No, you must make mungbean & broccoli cupcakes because all the children would prefer those to chocolatey cornflake nests of course.

Oh, thank you so much OP. This thread has made me so much. Love love love cornflakes cakes & that lemon faced drizzle cake lady is a secret MNer.

If I start the offensive bunting & rude pinny business would I be a cuntrepeneur?

Not read the entire thread yet, but what a bitch. I personally go for different things, but 1) I'd never ever in a million years tell someone that the way she has and 2) children love the things, and they're the ones prodding mum to buy them. She is a complete idiot and I'm honestly on your behalf.

Yes, the economics of these cake sale things are totally off. Just get the parents who would donate a cake to give the amount of money they'd spend making it, and parents who would buy a cake to donate the money they'd spend buying one, and you'd have more money. Instead you have parents giving money AND precious time, and self-important bitches judging whether or not the offerings are good enough.

I'm sure someone in the thread has said it, but I highly recommend just buying cheap packs of basics plain cupcake/fairy cakes and decorating them yourself with the children. I say this as someone who adores baking for most occasions. Cupcakes are just not worth the headache, and the children (and most adults) won't know the difference once you've dressed them up.

lol at that cushion on the link 'Get Bent'

Read the thread greeneggs, it's a goodun.

i'm off to go make rice crispie cakes now, the craving has just got too much

I don't think lemon drizzle is on MN at all.

If it were you and you read this you would be on the thread yelling

"I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT YOU DOZZY CAH!" Of course crispy cakes out sell 'real cakes' ya twat.

This has made me happy !

Do you think she is looking for a marmalade cake recipe as we speak ?

I have been MN for 3 years and nothing has ever made me laugh so hard before. There are actual tears. I keep laughing like Muttley trying to be quiet and not wake DS from his nap!

Lemon Drizzle Lady - you know you were a twat. Come out of the shadows and apologise.

Marmalade. Thank you. Just thank you.

Also I'm going to need some cunt bunting when it goes on sale. Keep me up to date.

Got a feeling that OP may be pulling our legs as she is insufficiently horrified by the prospect of being rumbled and suffering dirty looks for ever more at the school gate.

In any case this has really really made me laugh so well done OP.

OMG this thread is hilarious

PTA lady I hope you've learnt not to be a bitch now.

£35 for a cushion??

I can assure you I shan't be charging that for a 'PISS OFF KNOBHEAD' apron

GetOeuf oh hell I'm just catching up now. Have actually lol'd a few times. Will be back when I'm done.

Maybe she'll think twice about being rude. It wasn't on to suggest OP's wares wouldn't sell as well as proper cake! Passive aggressive cake-ishness isn't very nice.

Those cushions are awesome.

I don't get (and sorry massive sideways turn on the thread, which has really cheered me up on a gloomy lunchbreak!! ) why people needing food from foodbanks have to get branded foods and more convenience type foods rather than basic ingredients? I was told off 1 year for having made up 3 hampers for the local "welfare organisation" at Christmas - because I had printed off the MABS cookery book (money advice and budgeting service) with easy cheap recipes and had also included basics like flour, plain pasta, plain rice and tins of plain beans, and some curry spices and other seasonings. And a couple of own brand items. I had spent over ?300 on those 3 hampers (I was basically doing it as a "feed a family of 4 for a week" in my head)!! Most of the items were branded (often with "x% extra free") and I had been happy to include some items as I'd got a few BOGOF type deals.

But apparently the people these go to cannot cook basic foods and wouldn't know what to do with a bag of flour or basic herbs/spices. They depend on jars of sauces. They eat restricted diets (having not been exposed to other foods). They need lots of sugary foods. And the organisation doesn't like to be seen to be giving out "value" items to their clients.

So the reality was that they were expecting better food for their clients than I was eating myself (by the standards they were imposing on me as a donor).

Sorry, massive sidetrack, just the chickpea comments got to me (not yours, the PTA ones).

DisAstrophe, I don't care much. She started it by being vile on Facebook!

I just saw I had an inbox message and I was too scared to click on it in case it was her (It wasn't)

i love MN