To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

:(

Panda, you sound like my kind of gal.

best thread ever!

I want to play the sandwich punch game now

Is the cake punching limited to only LDC?
I have an urge now to punch the Victoria sponge that's in my kitchen

I am beyond excited to see how this all turns out...

You can punch any cake you wish but I must tell you, you won;t get the frisson you get from punching a cake in a shop by punching a cake in your kitchen. There'll be no furtively looking around for shop people who might be watching your act of patisserie sabotage. No scurrying away from the scene of the crime.

Get yourself down to your nearest supermarket and find the cake section. The best thrill comes from punching the expensive, poncey ones. It's alright punching in a carrot cake or a vicki spounge but you will feel extra bad ass if you can stove in a delicate little box of cream cakes with their stupid iced faces. M&S do a box of mixed cakes, fresh cream oysters, cream slices and fresh cream scones. I haven't had the opportunity to punch one of these boxes in yet but it is on my wish list.

HQ emailed me to say they are considering this thread for Classics

So is cake punching similar to playing Boggies, or is it a once off affair - ie do you just punch the one cake, or try to do several progressively bigger ones?

You need to go to Waitrose and punch one of the ridiculously overpriced birthday cakes.

Whilst you are at it give a couple of trifles a really vigorous shake and put it back on the shelf upside down.

Am I a complete moron yes for laughing to myself at the thought of trifle shaking?

Just do one cake. Imagine if you get caught, they would make you pay the bill and if you do one cake that is fine, you just stump up one cake but if you've decked like, five cakes, you could be looking at £30!

God, I have thought too much about this.

What the woman wrote was rude and untrue to boot but I think the OP has been unneccessarily cruel on this thread.

There's always one

You and Frankelly have really raised the bar on supermarket patisserie-product-related pranks, GetOeuf!

And bend a load of baguettes like pipe cleaners and run away.

You will probably be surprised to hear that I am a normal person and a rather conservative civil servant in RL.

How did I miss this gem?!

The cake must punched undoubtedly, logistics are tricky though. I would suggest paying a small child and delegating punching duties.

PMSL at trifle shaking, you could get away wiht that

Has anyone been to Whole Foods Market?

They have got them in London and, bizarrely, one in Cheltenham. You have never seen such overpriced food in your life. They have lots of cakes which need to have their stupid faces smacked.

Of course if you want to up the game into general grocery abuse, there's always the fizzy drink aisle for a good shaking

God, I only said one thing about her thighs! That is quite tame.

Imagine, if I accidentally on purpose knocked the LDC off the trestle table... imagine...

Cake punching - it's like the inner city equivalent of cow tipping

Trifle shaking: revenge on supermarkets who have made me pack my shopping too quickly and then I have gone home and the trifle has been all scrambled because it fell upside down.

That said, it is completely and utterly normal to be able to eat a whole supermarket trifle by yourself isn't it?

Oh god that has reminded me - I got semi flamed by a PO once on a thread because I recalled that I had a game of skittles in a supermarket aisle with some tins when I was at school.

Day out then, GetOeuf. I'll train it down to Chelters and come and KO some cakes with you at Whole Foods Market then we can go in that weird shopping centre for a bit before I train it back home again.

If I see any cakes with their faces kicked in my local Whole Foods Whole Paycheck I shall know exactly who it was, Marms unless I've got there first myself

I remember that thread, GetOeuf! I remember thinking "Oh fuck OFF, mate" about the PO. Like the money for the damages came out of her personal money. FFS I work in retail now and my caring is limited about damaged stock.

YES. That is a date.

We will take photos and everything.

We will become AN INTERNET PHENOMEMENON and they will make a Hollywood film about us starring Jennifer Lawrence (as me HAHAHAHAAAAAAAA) and Kristen Stewart as MarmTwats.

And it will be translated into French 'les filles poincon des gateaux'

Trifle looks like Willy WOnka's vomit anyway. Doesn't make much difference to give it a good shake.