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Original poster

To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

939 replies

MarmaladeTwatkins · 27/03/2013 13:00

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

:(

OP posts:
Undertone · 27/03/2013 20:03

Has it already been suggested that they raise the £12k by selling obscene soft furnishings and houseworkwear? Literally sweep all the cakes aside off the tables then slap down the piles of bunting customized with CUNT in marker pen?

Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 27/03/2013 20:12

OK have decided to shit-stir a bit and have just commented under the PTA chair's comment offering my services at the sale.

OP posts:
babybarrister · 27/03/2013 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blackeyedsusan · 27/03/2013 20:16

op, you are going about this all wrong. you need to use weetabix, presoaked in milk and sculptered into points. leave to harden, then disguise with chocolate. I also recommend inch wide elastic to launch

scratchandsniff · 27/03/2013 20:16

YANBU what a Cheeky fucker. I've made some today eaten about 10 they are yum. Cup cakes are so last year Smile

MyDarlingClementine · 27/03/2013 20:17

I havant read all this yet, but I just wanted to say I adore cornflake cakes, I really do, I would much rather buy those than plain sponge actually.

UterusUterusGhali · 27/03/2013 20:20

Marking place.

Please take a kick-arse lemon cake in too!

StealthPolarBear · 27/03/2013 20:21

What did you say?

Emilythornesbff · 27/03/2013 20:21

I missed the chairs comment bit.
What was that then?

KoalaFace · 27/03/2013 20:22

Hooray Marmalade Grin

Don't forget your "Smug Bitch" apron to wear while pulling bastard face at LDC lady!

Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 27/03/2013 20:23

Awwww, thanks everyone for being kaind about cornflake cakes and not making me feel like a shit mother. You're a lovely bunch. Brew and a cornflake cake for you all at Casa Twatters.

OP posts:
Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 27/03/2013 20:30

I just said "OK, will bring my nests in tomorrow. Also, I am now free tomorrow afternoon if you need another pair of hands to shift some cakes?"

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

OP posts:
Catmint · 27/03/2013 20:31

Whoever it was way up thread who coined the phrase, " citrus titted arsepart" I think I love you a bit and I am appliquéing your words onto an apron.

BeingAWifeIsNotForMe · 27/03/2013 20:34

Blackeyedsusan Grin

Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 27/03/2013 20:41

BlackEyedSusan, I am going to save the conical Weetabix creations for when MIL comes round Wink

OP posts:
scratchandsniff · 27/03/2013 20:41

Now read the whole thread. Bloody brilliant. Have let out a few piggy like snorts whilst chuckling at it.

Honeymoonmummy · 27/03/2013 20:41

This is one of the funniest threads ever. Marmalade I love that you just volunteered! Grin

Sailormercury · 27/03/2013 20:43

I would like an apron with I am Sharon on it.

Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 27/03/2013 20:49

Chair has taken up my offer of help Grin

OP posts:
TobyLerone · 27/03/2013 20:52

Yessssssss!

Emilythornesbff · 27/03/2013 20:53

Ok, just found it.
Ooh, tired now

cocolepew · 27/03/2013 20:57

This is so funnny Grin

Me and friend were in the PTA but didn't brown nose fit in.

Helping at a craft fair every PTA member was giving a high viz jacket (no idea why), with '(school name) PTA committee member' on it. Except ours.
So we wrote 'Harper Valley PTA committee member' on it.
We were asked to leave the PTA, but decided to stay on for another 2 years Smile.

gordyslovesheep · 27/03/2013 21:00

Marmalade I think I love you Grin

GreenEggsAndNichts · 27/03/2013 21:01

oh thank god. Looking forward to this carrying on tomorrow. My favourite thread in a long time. :)

drjohnsonscat · 27/03/2013 21:05

love the high-viz jackets at craft fairs. Am picturing you marshalling in squadrons of mums carrying homemade bunting and personalised cupcake cosies with those fluorescent paddles they use to guide aircraft into their bays. Or maybe you need the high-viz in case you need to become the fourth emergency service - say a fight between the Kirstie Allsopp craft gang and the Jane Asher cakes gang breaks out.