To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

:(

I'm glad you haven't been killed, OP. Was starting to imagine a Tales of the Unexpected-style thing where Embittered Lemon-Obsessed Hag PTA Woman grated you up and folded you into her latest vile cake.

I thought syrup was quite the thing for cornflake crispy cakes? Makes them hold together better ...?

So glad the chair has some sense.

It cost me a fortune last time I baked for school, not to mention the time and effort.

I really wanted to send in shop bought cakes but dd would have non of it.
Then there is the expense of giving dd money to buy cakes. she always looks for mine, because they taste nice, so ineffect I am paying for them twice.

What if snarky PTA lady is Marslady???

ooooh, maryz, thts a point, cake sale tomorrow at DD's school (heads off to check PFA fb page) post. Hmmmm, wonder if i should email the priest let him know that there is blasphemy afoot??

No,no,no,no NO Maryz The whole idea is that you spend your money on the ingredients and then your kids buy somebody else's god awful creation them all back again with your money.

oh and DD1 made a catsbumface when I mentioned Lent & chocolate in the same sentence

I paid £3.50 for a cornflake cake (it was a giant one) in the cafe in greenwhich park once It was lush

ARSEHOLE TABARDS.....with one cut in on the back

GET OUEF that is priceless. Started a nosebleed with snorting.
I want some of these. _Perhaps burnt into the fabric with snot stripes too...Too much?
they will sell. lets get some ideas down on paper....come on

Talc, I am actually debating getting the "Don't Like My Cooking?" apron. I love it and conveys my mood most days in this house.

I really want to know how these fuckers promote themselves of "In Charge of Shit" (now theres an apron) just how? Do they look in the mirror and say
"Time to take control love"
Just why would yous ay that to someone. Its not the European Bank or anything it is some poxy cakes.

Tell her her comments are as stupid as her business sense.

A cup cake sake making a dent in a £12000 target!!!!

Or alternatively just message a 'do fuck off dear'

PTA Chair is definitely a MNer

Loving this thread, particularly the suggestion that LDM is Marslady :o :o :o

Year 6 had an end of term cake sale for Comic Relief last week. They were charging a whole Pound for what I am convinced was a Tesco value fairy cake with a dribble of water icing and a shake of 100's & 1000's on top. I blush to admit that I actually said 'WHAT?' at the poor child selling it... (I did buy it, as I had DD nagging me for it. Would much rather have had a choccy cornflake nest).

I am undone

Marmalade - just thanks, you have crafted a thread of perfection!

Once one pta woman brought in, to sell mark you, a load of rich tea biscuits that had been iced by her toddler & tiddler's mates. Now I don't know if anyone else remembers the nursery biscuit - covered in icing, miscellaneous debris and snot, handed over with pride & a bite missing - but fit for human consumption they are not. PPs mention of norovirus sprinkles reminded me with horror.
Shared with DH - I can hear snorts of mirth from the office!

I really want a 'piss off spoony fucker' apron...and a cornflake cake please.

Yes, yes, yes ... Anything with spoonyfucker or stirryfucker would be fantastic. It´s DH´s favourite mumsnetism.

Amazing thread! Well worth the 15 page read!!!

I am knocking up a demo apron, using spuds cut in half as a form of printing things. anyone still with me?
Pics as I have them.

Turn them into triangular flapjacks?

THey will sell like hot cakes if my experience at PTA events is anythign to go buy!. However not much of a dent will be made in the £12000 needed! So a lot of hard work by the dedicated few I suspect. Good luck!

now I really want to make co-ordinating spoonyfucker and stirryfucker applique cushions instead of getting on with my coursework. dammit. thanks a bunch.

This thread has cheered me up no end. I thank you, one and all.

Inspired, I shall be making nests with the DC this weekend.

lolaflores pics are absolutely required. I have some nasty chintz Kath Kidston type material en route too so do share

Shit. Must RTFT before posting!

Why not buy the fanciest lemon drizzle cake and pass it off as your own, then bribe your friends to buy it.

That will fuck her off far more than just selling your other cakes...