Omg such anality from pil. Come and share your anal behaviour stories (lighthearted)

[ledkr]

We are with pil at present and they are very sweet but so bloody uptight about everything.
Bil has been away for a week so he left car with pil so that it "wasn't left in the street" it has a steering lock on and fil takes it for a drive each day! The car is an old banger worth about two hundred quid.
Kids can't even eat a banana without a table cloth,mat and plate
Leaving the house to walk to shops is a major ordeal. Costs hats gloves change of shoes everything switched off at the wall last minute run upstairs for wallets. I could have been there and back.
So I'm asking you to entertain me with similar stories to help me through the day.

My dad has a spreadsheet for his CDs

Oh no, dh has to brush his teeth before having his pre bed wee. I have just noticed this. Is it the start? He's 34

My mil has to leave the microwave door open when not in use. No idea

my BIL used to be a microwave service engineer in the very early days. he once arrived at some kind of catering establishment to find the microwave door open & a member of staff glued to the wall (because the microwaves were escaping...)

He's brushing his damn teeth again
Do we need to go clubbing or something

Hope you got over it quickly, Sunnywithshowers...

zapotek - have probably seen the same info film - just don't get so paranoid as the stress might be worse for you than any minor infection.

Have to admit my toothbrush, toothpaste, and shaving items are away in a cupboard (it is a small bathroom, only about 10 by 4, in a 3 up {3 includes bathroom!}, 2 down with no hall, and a landing that's about 10 by 3).

Bedding on their bed is washed twice a week. Bedding in other rooms, who knows? Once a year. Top and bottom sheets are made out of Velcro or post it glue. Shiney single duvet with a king size, shiney ornamental top cover. Very complicated pillow and cushion arrangement that mean you would have to sleep sitting up if you left them on the bed at night. Bed looks lovely in a Babs Cartland way but smells of uncle x's aftershave.

Met oh when I was a teen. Not allowed to stay in the same room until we were married at 34. We live in a different city. They didn't visit for 10 years because we weren't married and/or rented. Visit now we married and own our own home. We still start in separate rooms in their house. They only have single beds and I am bloody minded. Ffs at 34 I had known dh 20 years. They are not religious. They were lax 70/80s parents .

My mum keeps a mug of water in the microwave when not in use after being told 20 odd years ago when microwaves were new, that if they were switched on with nothing in it some sort of nuclear fusion/hadron collider thing would happen and the street would have to be evacuated!

She is only 52!

The special towels...are you related to the Dentons?

White for hands, Brown for feet, green for torso, thighs and seat, And in the cupboard Neath the stair, you'll find the red. For pubic hair....

Loving this thread btw. Only slightly recognise in laws, fortunately! :)

When DF died in 1994, we found 25 years worth of 'Which' magazines tied up in bundles in the attic. For consultation purposes whenever the purchase of new White Goods was required (every 30 years or so...)

Oh, this is the thread that keeps on giving. Brown arse flannels^?

Butter war?

But LeQueen's endless goodbye ritual is another reminder of my PILs. It used to take us 90 minutes to get out of the house, with endless wittering and fussing about goodness knows what and multiple trips to the fridge (or the 'freezer room' - yes, they really had a whole room dedicated to the freezer that they had built for that purpose when they extended the house...) for various left-over food odds and ends each in specialised tupperware boxes. MUCH discussion of the route (um, we live in the same place we did before PIL, we know how to get there...), the weather, whether we needed sandwiches for the journey (it's 20 miles away, I think we'll survive!).

But bless him, my FIL often used to give us a lift home before we had our own car, even though the traffic was completely unpredictable and could be nightmarish (West London), then would refuse to come in for a drink or anything and turn round and head home. He was lovely.

My dad has a wordprocessed shopping list, typed up from the one he wrote walking round Tescos, so that everything's written in the order you'd find it in the shop

what does he do when they move things???

DM lives alone, and when she stays with us occasionally offers to cook.
She asks what we would like.
Me: Dunno, how about chicken?
DM (wearing startled expression) Chickun? What sort of chickun?
Me: Doesn't matter, how about stewed?
DM: Do you have a recipe?
Me: No.
Baffled DM then consults several cookbooks for half an hour.
Then she checks to see if we have all the exact ingredients, which means getting everything out of the fridge and leaving it out.
Then comes the actual cooking, which requires weighing and measuring everything.
Then she decants everything she took out of the fridge into little plastic containers.
Three hours later, by which time everyone is starving and bad-tempered, she will produce?for four adults and a teenager?one teeny dish of mashed potato.

LapsedPacifist, I currently have more than 25 years worth of Which magazines!

I never look at them (honest) but can't bring myself to put them in the recycling sack either.

I may inflict them on the Health Centre waiting room instead

"Mobile never turned on. Phones are for DF to ring people not for people to ring him."

My dear brother used to keep his mobile off, even when driving 200 miles to visit Mum, who would want to ring at some point in his journey to get some idea of when she would best start cooking, so he could eat soon after arrival.

My BiL (admittedly until recently on parish council) also kept his mobile off more than on. Perhaps now my sister has retired they might both keep them on (however, logic dictates that as they may be out together, odds are they 'will not need them' so phones might be off, or in car, or at home, anyway!)

My eldest sister (new to a contract mobile with hundreds of minutes) now seems to ring at any time after 20:00. The most recent call started at 22:15 and went on to 00:30 (I was in bed snuggled up by then!). Ring her and 99 of 100 times it goes to voicemail, with no guesses at how many hours or days before she may ring back.

She has rung up before now at 23:30 ... and to be fair, one of my clients rang around the same time on a Saturday night a couple of years ago, desperate for me to remove a virus that was preventing him from printing flight documents needed for a flight on the Sunday after lunch!!

I wander around confused in Tesco Extra myself, Euphemia, must be a nightmare for a man

Ponders!

We only disposed of them because there were signs of (ahem) vermin wildlife infestation. Not exclusively amongst the 'Which's of course - I personally blame the 35 years worth of 'Gramophone' magazines which were also up there....

LP

no wildlife infestations in the magazine collection here yet

why do some old people's houses smell like old people's houses?

we have a neighbour who retired more than 20 years ago, when she was the age I am now. she lived then with her aged mother, but her aged mother died many years ago, & her house still smells the same

This thread is hilarious. My PILs are lovely and kind but have certain things which drive me crackers and have me and DH eye-rolling furiously.

MiL has a thing about leftovers. Everything has to be served in proper serving dishes. She always over caters so there's always leftovers, which have to be decanted into a million tupperware pots or little bowls with cling film on. They then get re-decanted into serving dishes for their next incarnation.

PILs are super fussy about about what goes into their dishwasher - no glasses, pans, knives etc, so there's always loads of washing-up to do. Which has to be done immediately after a meal has finished.

Cutlery. Fuck me, they have no less than three storage zones for their various canteens of cutlery: some in the kitchen drawer, some in the dresser drawer (complete with little sticky labels S and L for small forks/knives or large forks/knives) and another one in a built-in cupboard in the dining-room (alsowith sticky labels). It's labyrinthine. I admitted defeat last visit and left it on a tray in the kitchen after washing-up. Life's too short.

I never have my mobile turned on either. Getting more and more concerned now that It Has Started.

Ponders with the extra info re magazine hoarding I wonder if you are already a lost cause.

Aged Mama flatly refuses to replace any of the carpets or curtains in the house. Some of them pre-date our moving in - 1972, IIRC! The rooms are huge with high ceilings so replacements are spendy. We are getting there v. slowly .

That might explain the smell - all those (long deceased) former residents including smokers, cats, incontinent smoking cats etc.

Fantastic thread.

FIL told me today the other day that he has bought a gizmo for transferring all his "audio tapes" (ie cassettes) onto his PC. Not been listened to in over five years since they last changed the car, as newer car doesn't have a tape slot. I don't think he has yet thought through how transferring these audio gems to his PC will enable him to listen to them in the car. Or how long it's going to take to transfer them given that he finds all computer software and connections incomprehensible. Or that as they haven't been listened to in five years he can't have missed them much. Or that as they all date from circa 1985 the quality is going to be a bit shit. As with everything else in life, throwing them away is Not. An. Option.

My ILs will ring me up on my mobile to demand to know where the heck I am if they turn up unexpectedly when I'm out. They cannot fathom any reason why I should divert from my usual routine without several days' notice to every family member, as this is what 'normal' people would do.

DF always replies to an email by ringing me on the phone.