What's the most pretentious thing you've ever heard someone say? (lighthearted)

[LauriesFairyonthetreeeatsCake]

I went round someone's house and they were a shoe less house (no problem) but she airily pointed to a basket of slippers (felted, pointy, bright red, embroidered Tibetanny type like they have in the Toast catalogue) and said 'help yourself to the artisanal slippers'. There were dozens of pairs.

FUCK OFF - why would I want to sit around and look like an elf at your house?

these, but even pointier

[axure]

On the Feminist board just now - re changing name on marriage "I kept my name because it's the one
I'm published under".

[rhondajean]

My mother re my cousin who is adopting a child- " that baby will want for NOTHING. They live in a mansion you know". ( it's a quartered Victorian conversion). Obviously unlike my two who are on the poverty line and surviving in rags and on scraps

Sadly the genes seem to have come through. Me to dd2 (age 5 at the time) stood looking at the Christmas sweets in sainsbos -"come on darling, you don't want all those, they aren't good for you. Let's go get your olives"

To me eternal shame dd2 responded - "oh yes PLEASE mummy and can I have a full jar for myself?"

[thereinmadnesslies]

One of the mums at school was telling me how difficult it is to find au pairs who are capable of looking after the horses, with the occasional bit of child care thrown in. My heart bled

[Mintyy]

Axure - is that really pretentious? It seems a good reason to not change one's name, to me anyway.

[oliviafrombolivia]

a friend of mine knocked on the door of her bosses house along with another colleague (as arranged), bosses daughter answers the door "mummy, its the staff"...

[notjustamummythankyou]

This is great! Can we have a Mumsnet Pseuds' Corner a la Private Eye?!

[AnyFuleKno]

bunnybing - re your story with the pasta shapes, that could well have been me

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

'isn't it lovely to drink a wine where you actually know the vineyard'

[NewNames]

These all remind me of the Luvvies bit in Private Eye

[axure]

Mintyy are you taking the piss?

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

It's a sensible reason to keep a name, and I would say it on here though perhaps not at a RL gathering.

[NewNames]

I don't think the name change thing is pretentious.

[Anna1976]

axure - it could easily have come across pretentiously if it had been said the wrong context, but (non-bonkers) people in academia do care a lot about traceability of publications, given that your career and your ability to get funded does essentially depend on other people being able to see how much you've published - and often these will be people who haven't seen your CV.

[ScrambledSmegs]

Pickles and BBQGoats - you are both correct in your assumption I think we should organise MN field trips to witness the pretentious classes in their natural habitat. It's quite an eye-opener!

[sadsong]

lauries I went to a customers house and was I always take my shoes off unless told oh no dear it's fine! You never know what the rules are. But this one particular customer asked me to put plastic covers over my shoes. (you know surgical) I said I'll take them off it's fine. Apparently my feet weren't good enough either! I over quoted that job, I just didn't fancy it!

[choceyes]

My ds 4yrs old embaressed me at a cornershop the other day where they also have a small deli counter (not a posh shop at all, deli mainly has cheap bacon and sausages), by throwing a tantrum crying that he really really wanted Jarlsberg cheese and no other cheese would do. I suggested emmenthal instead but nooooo no emmenthal I want jarlsberg he cried. Poor bloke behind counter had no clue what either cheese was. I blame dh and his cheese obsession for this.

[gallifrey]

these are all brilliant!

[MrsCantSayAnything]

Genuinely confused about all the people on here mentioning olives as evidence of pretension. Maybe they were a bit unusual in the 80s or something....they're not anymore!

[alisarah]

I have said during a conversation about something vaguely science based (I forget what) "you are talking to two scientists here" (referring to me and DP. I had had a few wines

[Portofino]

I had a very lovely NCT night out with Brussels Mums when I first moved over. One said to me "My house is SO large I cannot justify putting the heating on during the day" I could not think of a response to that.

[rhondajean]

It's the olives coupled with the small children that does it.

Especially in Thr west of Scotland, where olives are still regarded with as much suspicion as a jar of pickled foetuses by a large percentage of teh population.

[ScrambledSmegs]

Possibly the fact that children are choosing them over sweets/chocolates? And loudly proclaiming their preference?

My DD embarrassed the crap out of me the other day by shouting "Look mummy, butternut squash! I LOVE butternut squash" in the supermarket. I know she likes it, but did she have to say it quite so loudly?! I looked like I'd been coaching her or something

She redeemed herself later by having a tantrum when I wouldn't buy her chocolate buttons

[OscarPistoriusBitontheside]

My aunts MIL. She lived in Lemington Spa.

She was discussing how filthy with litter train stations were (my dad and other uncle both worked for BR) "of course" says she there is litter at Lemington spa, "but it's a better class of litter."



Needless to sat its still a family catchphrase.