Tell us about your worst wedding experiences?

[ENormaSnob]

Inspired by diamondsonthesoleofhershoes thread in aibu.

The worst wedding I have ever attended was an attempt at a big traditional wedding done on a tiny budget. Freezing cold room, luke warm daytime buffet with 2 choices served on paper plates that bent when the food hit them, no drinks at all, not even a toast after the speeches. There was a pay bar which is fine with me but not even one glass of wine with the meal seems mean. The night buffet was worse than the daytime one, a few plates of dry sarnies and 2 plates of mummified chicken. No pudding of any description throughout the whole day I was cold and hungry all day. The bride had told me before hand that most of their budget had gone on outfits for the wedding party and the cars. Cars which no one saw anyway On a positive note, the drinks weren't extortionate like they are in some places.

I am not a fussy cow btw, my ideal wedding as a guest would be a village hall type of affair with everyone bringing a plate and a bottle.

For those who have a "Church and evening invite" what you've actually got is "evening only" however, the couple aren't allowed to stop people from going to the church, so you get this invite too, the assumption is you won't bother going to the church, unless you live close by (it's from the days when say, all the village would just go to see the wedding but not be invited to the reception - you'll still find randoms from the church family who do just turn up to any wedding in their church).

Our friends' wedding really was lovely but the priest went on about my friend's granny, saying she had been a bit of a fascist!

And the dessert was burnt. But other than that it was lovely!

I've never been to a really bad wedding. Bad marriages, though, that's a different story!

The worst thing that happened at my wedding (apart from the choice of groom) was forgetting to bring corkscrews, the white wine being not cold enough, (especially by the time we managed to open it!) and my MIL standing in front of the band (our biggest splurge and the bit we were really looking forward to) with her fingers in her ears!

One of my friends and her partner flew in from very far away indeed (a country in south America) to attend the wedding of one of the partner's university friends. It was at a hotel in the middle of nowhere. They only gave my friend an evening invite, while her partner was invited to the whole day. She had to sit alone in the bar all day because she was the only person with an evening invite to the whole wedding. I have no idea why she bothered going. I certainly wouldn't have.

DH and I went to a wedding when I was about 35 weeks pregnant with DC5. The best man's speech contained a lovely segment where he used us as an example for the happy couple- on how to effectively use contraception, because 'obviously no one has told them! Number five, ladies and gents! Are we putting bets on double figures? Don't blame you, though X (DH), she's a stunner!' I have never felt so humiliated in my life,and you cannot flounce out in anger if you're 35 weeks pg!

I actually lurve weddings but I've seen a few horrors (though far outnumbered by the lovely ones)

The one held in a freezing cold, wet, drizzly garden covered in goose poo, trying to entertain a cold, wet toddler and stop him from running off/falling in pond/getting covered in goose poo/screaming through the ceremony.

The civil partnership that ended up with a screaming fight between one of the brides and her sister, who was pissed out of her skull and basically jealous of the big do. (Rest of it was fab though)

The posho rural one where the vicar basically told us we were all going to hell if we didn't believe, and the dinner was course after course of identical plates of salad leaves.

I also don't really enjoy the ones where I can't get behind the marriage itself. I actually said no to one invite recently because I couldn't in all honesty congratulate the bride on marrying a controlling tosspot.

I haven't been to any really terrible weddings. There were a couple that stick out as examples of "things you shouldn't do". One was when I was single (newly divorced in fact), and at the reception, I was put at a table with a whole load of other single people who I didn't know. It was particularly upsetting as my best friend was also at the wedding, and she and her husband were put on a separate table, even though the bride was friends with both of us and would have known we'd have wanted to sit together. I felt like a real pariah.

The other was one where there was a church wedding at 12 noon followed by a reception in a nice hotel several miles away (quite a long drive), and they simply served sandwiches, tea and scones. The bride said that she and her husband both worked in jobs where they were always attending formal dinners, therefore thought it would be much nicer just to have afternoon tea. It didn't seem to occur to her that what would be nice for her and her husband was not so nice for people who had travelled miles to be there, and in some cases from abroad. And who didn't have to attend formal dinners for their jobs.

i think it was my friends which i was bridesmaid for ive never said anything to her obvioulsy,
but she seemed to think her guest would fil a huge ballroom at a fancy hotel it is HUGE
, she had very little evening guests some of the grooms friends were in a downstairs bar watching Rugby and some older guests went away for a lie down in rooms didnt return , It was so awkward had to sink a few vodkas and get on with it , i think the people in the bar thought i was nuts as i was trying to usher the supporters back up stairs ,

Reading through these, there seem to be two key messages:

1. Always provide lots of delicious food and free drink.

1. Make sure your best man isn't a tw*t.

I went to one once when DS was 8 weeks old and was told that the designated breastfeeding area was... the smoking tent??!! Decided that our car would have to do!

I can only think of two truly bad weddings - I've been to a few where the venue/food/etc hasn't been great, but other things (seeing how happy the married couple are, having a laugh with friends, etc) have more than made up for it.

The first bad one I went to was in a lovely manor house with great food, entertainment, etc. But the couple had met online and the woman had made it pretty obvious (by telling people and by the way she acted) she was marrying him because he was loaded. He was loved up with her though. And before you flame me for being friends with such a cow, she wasn't a friend; she was a work 'friend'. Anyway the whole day seemed a bit 'flat' because there was no spark between the couple and it all just seemed a bit sad and pointless (they're now divorced).

The other one was similar in that the bride was loved up and mad-happy - but most of the 'congregation' were in the secret that her new H had shagged someone else on his stag do .

love reading these posts

i have to say i have never been to a disaster wedding

though i have 7 weddings to attend in the near future so who knows what might happen then (though knowing the people getting married, i expect they will all be lovey)

Not really a disaster but at a family wedding 3 hours from home my aunt (37 weeks pg) went into labour at the reception and had her baby by 11pm, so they were stuck up there for a few nights longer than planned

I am about the people who are offended to be invited to church and evening. Evening invites are ok yes? We couldn't have everyone at the meal but we wanted them all at the church, not to 'swell the pews' just so all our friends could see us married. We put a lot of effort into the ceremony and had really good music etc. We put suggestions of things to do in the afternoon. A bunch of my friends that had met at the hen do spent the afternoon in the pub and had a good time, I hope everyone else was not silently cursing us.

There were also random people from the parish at the church, which was nice.

In short - I personally don't really care how posh/good everything is or isn't, it could be in a stinky pub or on a tropical island, I just love a wedding because it's lovely to share in the happiness of the day

I think the worst wedding I've been to was where the invitations really hadn't made it clear to which parts of the wedding respective guests were invited to. So several people turned up at the reception only to be turned away at the door. They were not placated by being told to come back at 7 for the evening do.

I do think that too much can be crammed into one day although I realise that this is usually the result of wanting more people to celebrate the wedding than can always be accommodated. But I think a good friend of mine has chosen a really sensible way to sort this. She gets married on a Saturday next month and has invited close friends and family to the wedding - 2.30pm in town - and then provided minibuses to take us all to a very nice village hall about 5 miles away. The reception will last until 8 and then we'll be driven back to town where we can hit the pub if we want. My friend and her husband then go away on their honeymoon. A week later, on the following Saturday, they are hosting a huge great party in a local club with a buffet and a band and everyone they know (including those of us at the wedding) are invited. That way you get 2 parties and the company of everyone you want but you don't have an endless day with the potential for misunderstanding.

Wedding 1: lovely - a real laugh, plenty of booze (i was pg so not drinking) - except one of the female guests got completely bladdered. And bit the bride. SHortly afterwards she fell into the string quartet. She was a copper....! It is believed that she played for the other team, and was miffed that the bride did not share her feelings.

Wedding 2: we heard the father of the bride tell us all about his son for 20 mins, and how proud he was of him, before mentioning that the bride was sadly not very bright, but did look lovely on the day.

Wedding 3: One of my rellies, a fortune spent on trappings - 4 bridesmaids and a flower girl and paige boy, mother of the bride in coordinated outfit, horse drawn carriage, more flowers than chelsea flower show. We stood outside the church with the brides elderly grandmother who was a real character, but we were all freezing. 2 hours! DH scored huge brownie points with granny for giving her his jacket.

Got to the community centre reception, there were 2 bottles of wine for 8 people. SO a glass each then. That or orange squash. No bar. Dinner arrives....Heinz tomato soup (not enough to go round, so 4 of us didnt get any), followed by airline style chicken (about the same quantity) and supermarket black forest gateau still slightly frozen in the middle. Best mans speech "well, I dont really know (groom) very well...". We were sat with an ageing glam rock star who clearly had done waaaaaaaaaaay to many drugs back in the day, and could not string a coherent sentence together. WIfelet would have to mop his dribble at times (she was really sweet). Reception seemed to go on forever, until at 8oclock, the band arrives to set up, 9o'clock its like a gig and halleluja the bar opens. We managed to escape shortly after!

Wedding 4. My mother is helping her bf at bf's daughters wedding. BF says its time to cut the cake, mum is a little pissed and gets out the electric carving knife and cuts cake. Only the Bride and Groom have not yet cut the damn thing yet........ :D

just wanted to say my friends actual wedding and meal was lovely just the evening reception was a Disater , feel like im scoring an episode of four weddings

Personally, I find evening invitations a bit crap. It says to me, "you're not important enough for us to pay for your dinner, but you can come later and bring us a present".

I don't usually bother to go to those, unless they're work colleagues' events because I know how much we all get paid and it's shit.

"Photography is NOT ALLOWED.NO. You'll RUIN it for me, you'll RUIN it for the Bride and Groom and you'll RUIN it for yourselves

It's even worse if you are the photographer! It wasn't until the technical rehearsal the day before the wedding that the minister in question assured me that all photographs had to be taken from the back of the church and that I was not to put a foot beyond this last pew. It was a long church and his suggestion of "using a great huge zoom lens like the paparazzi" was not a very practical solution either.

To be honest, I hate ceremony and evening invites. don't care if there's a list of things to do in the envelope with the invitation; you still have to hang around for hours in a wedding outfit, uncomfortable and overdressed. And the evening reception always starts late, so you get to feel even more B list as you wait outside for the speeches to be over. It's especially bad if you're expected to travel for the wedding, so you've spent a fortune already.

at my own wedding i was poor but made sure everybody was fed , but a friend of MIl did the wedding video , there was the back of us a skip over the guests and the rest was of the friends family oh and the cake which the wife of friend made which was appreciated but all you can see if the knife going through HER CAKE and torsos of people gathered round , , we had to have a viewing and asked if we liked it , we just nodded and smiled and told people it didnt turn out as well as expected nobody else has seen it ,

to make matters worse, we were in a black sports car. Obviously pre DD and debt.
There was also the wedding of a friends sister. One of the bridesmaids was around 2 and sparse of hair. His mum had got her own GD a wig from Oxfam.

Reading all this, who'd bother with a wedding?

I've been married 16 years and I have a relative who I see about once a year. Every time, without fail, she has turned the conversation round to how she didn't like the food at my wedding. (Actually it was very good food - no lukewarm buffet or chicken supreme.) She couldn't believe we didn't have a menu and she asked the waiter for something else, and she didn't like the starter etc etc etc. 16 bloody years later!!!!