Tell us about your worst wedding experiences?

[ENormaSnob]

Inspired by diamondsonthesoleofhershoes thread in aibu.

The worst wedding I have ever attended was an attempt at a big traditional wedding done on a tiny budget. Freezing cold room, luke warm daytime buffet with 2 choices served on paper plates that bent when the food hit them, no drinks at all, not even a toast after the speeches. There was a pay bar which is fine with me but not even one glass of wine with the meal seems mean. The night buffet was worse than the daytime one, a few plates of dry sarnies and 2 plates of mummified chicken. No pudding of any description throughout the whole day I was cold and hungry all day. The bride had told me before hand that most of their budget had gone on outfits for the wedding party and the cars. Cars which no one saw anyway On a positive note, the drinks weren't extortionate like they are in some places.

I am not a fussy cow btw, my ideal wedding as a guest would be a village hall type of affair with everyone bringing a plate and a bottle.

Worst one I ever went to (a relative of DP's) the bride sobbed broken-heartedly throughout the whole ceremony. I don't mean a few tears of happiness, I mean full-on sobbing. Then the reception was held in a room above a pub. The windows didn't open and it was July and boiling hot. The reception had barely started when most of the (male) guests went downstairs to the pub to watch the football that was being screened. The speeches were dismal. And the food! Everything was made of potatoes! Mashed, roasted, boiled. In July! Only thing that saw me through was a large number of G&Ts.

Ah yes, my own wedding - several things happened that would totally out me if I told them on here, sadly. Suffice to say it didn't go quite to plan. My dad's speech, in particular, was pretty boring with some horrible but unintentional double-entrendres thrown in. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt on that, anyway.

We had fun though. I think most of the guests did too - they were certainly well fed, had about a bottle of champagne each due to caterer over-calculation, and had only an hour to wait between ceremony and meal. All happy. Well, apart from one of my bridesmaids, who managed to upset and offend pretty much every member of my family and friends (and tried very hard to turn my morning of quiet wedding prep into her drama). One of my friends (army man) suggested that he could quietly 'remove' her and no-one would ever know

My exMIL wore a 'designer exclusive' from a little boutique in her town, only to find FIL's first wife, and mother of the bride, wearing exactly the same designer exclusive! I have to say, impartially, that the dress was bloody animalprintastic awful, so how two people could contemplate wearing it, only jeff knows.

The look of absolute horror on their faces as they saw each other at the church was priceles, especially as one considers the other grannified before her time and the other as mutton dressed as lamb.

Oh, and exSIL invited 300 people to the reception, didn't cater enough food, and those on tables 1-10 finished eating 2 hours ahead of tables 20-30 who probably could have snarfed the tablecloth they were left so hungry.

Nearly forgot - at my wedding the best man was foreign and got so nervous when it came to his speech that he forgot to speak in English. I think DH might have made a calculated manoevre there to save himself from embarrassing stories, but then slipped up in his own speech by not applying the 'think before speak' rule and making a statement about that night's activities that had half the guests giggling in shock and my uncle laughing so hard he nearly fell off his chair :o

"nobody sets out to have a bad wedding and make guests miserable"

Hmmmm. Remembering "It's MY day its about ME" where the top table got served a different meal to the horrible buffet the rest of the guests ate, and everyone was treated like crap by the bride before during and after... she also bought all the bridesmaids dresses in the wrong sizes, so not sure I'd agree that NOBODY sets out to make guests miserable as that normally shrinking violet did seem to use her wedding as a chance to get revenge on everyone she'ld ever come second fiddle to in her life!

Rushed uni wedding of two people I happened to share a house with. They also met at the beginning of the academic year due to the house share, and the wedding was the following spring. He was a young virgin with few friends, she was / had less of all of these.

The "reception" was held in the shared house (the only reason I was invited), best man's speech consisted of a list of girls the groom had failed to get off with over the previous few years, and the groom's mother later tried to get off with the best man. "I've had my eye on you since you were 14", I think was her chat up line...

Pretty sad state of affairs, really.

My wedding was lovely, marriage didn't last that long.

I was probably the worst guest ever attending a wedding...
I sort of gate crashed this very posh and expensive wedding, (I did know the people but hadn't exactly been invited but went along as a plus one with a friend) got very (very) drunk got caught snogging one of the ushers (younger brother of the groom) by his Dad and then topped it off by allowing said usher to come back with me to my B&B. He wasn't terribly discrete about it either! Witnessed by various friends, an ex-boyfriend and other no doubt horrified bystanders. I also recall the so-called friends of my ex's new girlfriend trying to confide in me that she wasn't really right for him - happy to say they are now married and have been for years.

This thread is priceless. It's really sad how little consideration people give to the comfort and enjoyment of others.

My sister's wedding was lovely in the main, but was riddled with minor disaster:

1. My Dad stood on her dress walking her down the aisle, I don't think it was damaged but she had a go at him in front of everyone

1. My Dad spent the day glued to his phone (presumably texting his bit on the side) having recently separated from my Mum after confessing to an affair. My Uncle had a go at him in front of everyone (a theme is developing, no?)

1. The Wedding gifts were stolen from the venue.

1. My then best friend (who was my +1) had a knee trembler in the fire escape with the best man during the reception. My sister (the bride) subsequently spent a good part of the evening trying to ensure that the best man's bemused fiance didn't find out what was going on and why her betrothed was acting weird and kept disappearing off. My sister then had a massive go at me in front of everyone about bringing my then best friend in the first place.

1. The photographer got blind drunk.

I went to a weird wedding years ago of a friend of my sister where the reception was held at the family home in a jumble of small interconnected marquees which snaked around the house. My family and I were in a marquee near the front of the house. Apart from being freezing cold, I remember thinking it weird when the speeches were taking place round the back and edited highlights were relayed chinese-whisper style through the marquee-snake.

My worst wedding experience was actually a very lovely wedding itself.

Small do far far from home for everyone, 15 close people in total only.

I had 2 mo baby who had really bad reflux and feeding was frequent. I fed dc at the wedding breakfast, discretely and only close family present who seemed fine with it at the time.

Then B+G went off on honeymoon while rest of wedding party arranged to meet in family friendly pub, in a small village an hour drive down the road near accommodation of some of the guests for further drinks and social.

We had to stop en route to sort out bawling DC. Arrive at pub to find we have been stood up. We walked about hoping to find everyone (no phone signal), maybe spot someones car. I ended up sat on a roadside grass verge breastfeeding in the rain. We eventually realised we had been abandoned and made it the hour drive back to our hotel.

later discovered the breastfeeding was a major issue for the family - thought it was disgusting (I was fondly imagining that as dc was the brides parents grandchild they might approve of him being bf) and instead of asking me to do it out of sight, or saying they felt uncomfortable, thought it would be easier to just stand us up in a isolated village miles from home and leave us to it for the evening. They managed to complain vociferously to the bride (on her wedding day) about it though - but say nothing to me (I am approachable honest!). Poor bride.

It was DH's sisters wedding - he wanted to celebrate the occasion - that didn't happen. It was also our own 1st wedding anniversary and one of the most stressful days ever! :(

Shame as up t that point I had thought it was a beautiful and fabulous occasion (still do, very happy couple, but the memory is marred) There were some other crappy things people did that aren't worth going into but the gist is there.

I went to one a few years ago that wasn't actually a wedding. It was the saddest spectacle I've ever seen!

The bride had spent years arranging the lovely wedding, at a very expensive venue, and had planned everything beautifully. A few weeks before the day (after invitations had gone out) they went to give notice at their local register office and her fiancé said he couldn't find his decree absolute but had ordered a new one to be sent from court that would be there in time. Said decree absolute didn't materialise and when she chased it up they told her that it didn't exist - he was still married to his ex wife.

For some reason she agreed to go through with a commitment ceremony, which is for people who are unable/unwilling to get actually married but want to put on the show. My DH called it a very solemn ceremony of absolute meaninglessness. It was heartbreaking as only a couple of us knew the truth, and her whole family thought it was her wedding. Her dad did a beautiful speech and everyone was celebrating the "happiest" day of her life.

Then the groom did his speech about how their relationship was based on honesty and trust

I feel so sorry for her, and for her family. What should have been a very happy day for her was just so sad.

My aunts wedding last year had the reception outside, at a nature reserve, on a wet june day. Two gazebo type things for shelter, no loos, no baby changing despite about ten under twos, lots of cold, wet people crammed together trying to look vaguely cheerful everytime it stopped raining and we were dragged out for photos. Not exactly well planned.
We had another invite recently for a wedding three hours drive away, where the church has no loos or parking and the reception venue has no bar. We're not going :)

Oh definitely the one where DH and his cousin had to physically remove the groom's ex from about the groom's person, and suggest strongly that she was not welcome, the groom being too pissed to do this himself.

My favourite thought was not terrible but hilarious - church wedding, vicar getting into his stride, "marriage is an estate which must be entered into soberly..." at which exact point the organist knocked a book off his music stand onto the key board - crash "fuck"

Oh Gin, that's dreadful :(

Butwhat Did he ever divorce properly? And did her family ever find out the truth? A very sad tale. :(

nobody sets out to have a bad wedding and make guests miserable

This is true, but equally, if couples are inviting people to share the day with them, they should take more care to think through the agenda of their day and provision for guests' comfort.

Good friends of ours had a very VERY small family wedding breakfast in the middle of a wedding day to which they had invited MANY guests from all over the country - we'd travelled 200 miles. We were all told in advance that this was the case so were able to prepare to a degree.

What we weren't prepared for was the non-existant parking and extensive roadworks in the one way system of the city centre where they held the ceremony. The torrential rain didn't help.

Pretty much everyone was late for the service. Afterward, many of those not invited to the wedding breakfast (in the next town) jumped in the awaiting cars that had been booked for the bridal party, leaving close family stranded in a gridlocked roadwork-riddled rush hour one way system with no taxis available in the entire city. Although we were not attending the breakfast, as we had our car we offered to take some family members to the reception. Because of the horrendous traffic, the family members we gave a lift to were 2 hours late to the wedding breakfast. Other family members missed it altogether.

As we had been doing impromptu taxi duties for the bridal party, we'd not had chance to get any food, and by the time we'd got back to our digs it was time to go out for the evening reception.

Now the bride and groom couldn't have accounted for the roadworks or weather, but having the ceremony in a city centre that ended at rush hour on a Friday then the wedding breakfast in a town 12 miles away was ill-conceived IMO.

a very solemn ceremony of absolute meaninglessness

Sounds like something Mr. Pru would come out with, Butwhat

Thanks 2tired sometimes I think me finding the situation deeply sad is me being unreasonable, so it's good to know someone else thinks it was a bit rubbish. DC grandparents have not spoken to me since that day as apparently I am a militant lentil weaver.

Had I been made aware it was an unwelcome act I could have done something about it! It's like a bad soap where you feel like shouting at the characters - why don't you just talk to one another and save all this misunderstanding!

Anyway, enough about that... loving all the stories - some are very and some rather

Bugger, seems I got it wrong with church plus evening invites. For me, the ceremony is my favourite part of the day and I would be really pleased to get an invitation to that as an evening guest. And if it meant I had to stay an extra night somewhere expensive and it was a ballache I would just decline one part or other.

You can't please everyone. At least noone was cold or hungry and there was lots of free booze!

Some of these stories are grim.

Celtic I wouldn't worry, most people understand that inviting evening guests to the ceremony is standard practice and if they feel that it will be too inconvenient they will give it a swerve.

Adverse that's rank

Celtic don't worry I like the ceremony best and the meal sat beside randoms least so am happy with church + evening invites so long as they're local

NOT impressed if its a journey away though!

We travelled to Philadelphia, USA for a wedding that started at 5pm and we were on the bus back to the hotel at 10 .30 p.m. It was all over, finished, the end!

See with the church and evening do only invite, when DP and I told our parents about it they were absolutely horrified. We were planning our wedding at the same time - didn't happen but we're still together - and they told us it was extremely rude to invite someone to the church service and not the reception straight afterwards. I think most people know that church weddings are public events and anyone can go into a church and watch a service but to me if you value someone enough to want them to see you and your new DH/DW commit to each other then to expect them to bugger off for five hours and to to turn up for the disco later is a bit crap.

That is the only invite like that we've ever had. We've been to loads of evening receptions for work colleagues and friends that aren't particularly close and none apart from that one have included an invite to the church service.The church services we have been invited to have all included the daytime and evening reception, but these have all been relatives and close friends.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned at 44 but it's either all or evening do only!

I went to a church and evening only do. I wouldn't have bothered with the church bit but I was part of the choir, singing at the ceremony. Everyone else in the choir was invited to the reception, afaik - I went to a friend's house (which was nearer than driving all the way home) and when I got back, they hadn't finished the speeches and those of us who turned up for the evening part weren't allowed in until the speeches were finished.

I couldn't even have much to drink because I had to drive home after - really really wish I hadn't bothered!

I got married in December last year and now I'm feeling a tiny bit concerned! However, being older and wiser, we really tried to think about our guests as well as what we wanted.

Having been to weddings in the past when I was very hungry, we served canapés and mulled wine and cider in church at the end of the service - seemed to go down a storm! The meal was then about 2 hrs later. We had banqueting style seating, so no worry about seating plans, people sat where they liked.

We sent everyone an approximate timetable so they could come and go a bit as they liked, without missing anything important. The thought of 12 hours straight celebrations can be quite daunting.....

We had a few children at the wedding, mostly young neices and nephews and the venue set up a table in the adjoining room during the meal, with children's menu and supervised by staff from the venue (we have a 4 year old so we have a vested interest!) the parents were delighted and the kids loved the space to run around.

We didn't have a disco (too old!) but had lots of entertainment - ceilidh, table magician, musicians and musical cabaret.

We had a bloody fabulous time but also lots of compliments. Not that much happens in our village, they're still talking about it...I think the key is to keep things a bit relaxed....hard as it is!