Tell us about your worst wedding experiences?

[ENormaSnob]

Inspired by diamondsonthesoleofhershoes thread in aibu.

The worst wedding I have ever attended was an attempt at a big traditional wedding done on a tiny budget. Freezing cold room, luke warm daytime buffet with 2 choices served on paper plates that bent when the food hit them, no drinks at all, not even a toast after the speeches. There was a pay bar which is fine with me but not even one glass of wine with the meal seems mean. The night buffet was worse than the daytime one, a few plates of dry sarnies and 2 plates of mummified chicken. No pudding of any description throughout the whole day I was cold and hungry all day. The bride had told me before hand that most of their budget had gone on outfits for the wedding party and the cars. Cars which no one saw anyway On a positive note, the drinks weren't extortionate like they are in some places.

I am not a fussy cow btw, my ideal wedding as a guest would be a village hall type of affair with everyone bringing a plate and a bottle.

A close rellie's (bride) first two weddings were fairly grim:

The first was to a complete inadequate who looked terrified and wouldn't speak to me or my immediate family, or anyone else who wasn't from their small community. My mother was muttering darkly about lambs to the slaughter, and she was right. He left her to go back and live with his toxic controlling parents, because he couldn't cope without them. They blamed bride.

Second wedding to a rough dickhead who got very drunk with his friends at the reception, made horrible crass sweary speeches, threw beer bottles and mocked bride's family.

Another older relative had breakdown in loos because she didn't have a daughter and would never see a daughter married because her awful long-term partner had refused to marry her and have kids and ruined her life but it was all too late now. My mother had to talk her down.

My parents left with bride's parents. Her father was too depressed to speak and her mother burst into tears. Groom left bride the minute they got back from honeymoon (all planned, he just fancied a posh wedding and first trip abroad paid for by rellie's family) dumping her with a mortgage she couldn't afford on her own.

Third time lucky. She ran off to Gretna Green and married a very nice man with whom she has children.

The one at which I (aged 32)had to be MIL's bridesmaid, without her having asked me- she just told DH that was what would happen. The bride (aged 72) wore an ivory lace dress and flowers in her hair. The groom had a gammy leg. The priest had never done a marriage before and kept making mistakes (a minor problem when compared with his being convicted of paedophilia a few weeks later). The happy couple, being a bit deaf, kept wandering off during the photographs.

The one at which we arrived at the stated time with very small baby and sat for two hours before anyone else arrived- we were supposed to know that 2pm meant 4pm

The one at which the best man announced to the assembled company of the bride's parents' golfclubby friends that he knew that M loved T because she had made him wait six weeks before sleeping with her. The bride's parents had genuinely believed her to be virgo intacta.

The absolutely perfect wedding in sunshine in a beautiful English village, jolly service, lots of food, lots of champagne, when the cake collapsed, followed a few months later by the marriage

All weddings where the photographs take longer than 30 minutes

I don't think I've ever been to a truly-awful-in-every-way wedding, but there are bits from two family weddings I've attended that stand out.

1. Vicar conducting service acted like he'd had one too many beforehand, it was really quite bizarre. The bride kept getting the giggles during the vows. Quite a few guests were sniggering/chatting/not really bothering to sing the hymns etc and my DM was therefore doing a total catsbumface throughout as she hates 'inappropriate' behaviour in church. Reception was nice enough, decent food etc, but then when it got to the evening reception no-one would dance, at all, they just sat at tables not really doing anything and looking miserable. The dancing ended up being done almost exclusively by me and my sister.

2. DH was involved in playing the music for the service and was told he had to be at the church to practise at 9am because they'd been too disorganised to do it properly the night before (wedding was at 2pm). The ceremony went on for close to two hours, had NINE songs, and lengthy bits of preaching about the 'roles' of a husband and wife in marriage (aka strict gender roles). It was also dropped in that both bride and groom were still virgins in a really smug way. Again my DM had an epic catsbumface going on. Photos went on for ages, long past the time we were supposed to be at the reception venue for drinks and nibbles. It was a very humid day and everyone was really flagging by this point. It was 5pm by the time everyone got to the hotel and DH had had nothing to eat or drink since breakfast so was in a foul mood. We were then faced with waiting for the wedding party to do a receiving line for 200 guests. After reassurances from the bride about how wonderful the food (catered by one of her friends) was going to be it turned out to be completely bland and uninspiring. Proceeded to get really drunk.

LOL at being mil's bridesmaid!

We went to an evening reception years ago, where the bride had fallen out with most of the wedding guests and was sending everyone death stares. Then the music started up; a mobile disco outfit with the drinkiest, bitterest dj ever. It was strangely hilarious, he downed pint after pint with an expression of churning inner misery, whilst trying to get the 'happy couple' to hit the floor with Band of Gold as the first dance.

My sis recently spent a small fortune getting to a wedding; where the plate of chips food was inedibly bad. It's not really fair when people have flown/travelled miles and spent loads of money, to not at least feed them properly. As someone else (sort of) pointed out, you wouldn't invite someone to dinner, then chuck them a Pot Noodle and a used tea bag.

I once went to a wedding where the vegetarian option was salmon.

I once went to a wedding where the vegetarian option was salmon.

It's surprising the number of people who claim to be vegetarians but who eat fish ;-/

Wedding many years ago, about two hours' drive away. Ceremony fine, reception on very basic community hall - again, fine. Glass of orange squash on arrival, then we sat down to a meal of (and I kid you not) tinned ham (the big long rectangular tins of pressed, processed stuff), tinned new potatoes and garden peas. Pudding was tinned fruit and evaporated milk. Sweet sparkling wine to toast with (one glass), no wine with meal. After the speeched, the bride's father stood up and announced that there would be a gap in proceedings until the evening reception but there were several pubs nearby where people could spend the time (at our own expense, obviously).

DH and I drove to the nearest town and got fish and chips

At our wedding I bribed two small children to march about with baskets of Cadburys Heroes between the ceremony and reception for any nibbly people. The venue would have provided canapes but when they provided a sample they were naff so we did this instead.

I was repeatedly harassed at a wedding by the brides sister, she wanted me to dance. She was trying to get everyone up on the floor.

I kept explaining that I had heels on, it was a slippery floor with some quite energetic dancing going on that had knocked the other bridesmaid over.

I was 4 months pregnant and she got so aggressive I had to sit outside in the end!!

Posted further up thread but more have occurred to me. We went up to Yorkshire for a wedding, had to stay overnight for two nights. On the day of the wedding everything was done and dusted by 6pm and we had nothing to do. We knew no-one. We went back and sat in our B&B. We were young and not that well-off then. It seemed like a total waste of money to me. (Oh and it was in a chapel and young relatives sang a sort of happy-clappy number during the service. Embarrassing as they were deeply untalented)

Another one was where I only knew my DH, not even the B&G.

Another was where my DH was given an evening invitation addressed to (DHs name) plus 1. (We'd been married about 12 years at the time!)

I have refused a number of wedding invitations and now only go if I really can't NOT go.

oh man I am pretty sure that somewhere in this list is our own wedding. Which I personally thought was fantastic, but certain it was not everyone's cup of tea...
luckily I have fab memories of it and I doubt anyone who thought it was shit would not dare tell me to my face so I will never know differently

We got a cheese and onion pastie as the vegetarian option at one wedding. it was really nice actually :)

When a friend of mine got married, her husband nipped out the other exit to smoke a joint, leaving her to come out of the church by herself
She came out to face his drunken Aunty shouting abuse because she hadn't be invited. Grim.
I haven't stayed in touch (too dysfunctional) but I hope she left him.

DontmindifIdo An evening invite would have been fine, I wouldn't have minded that, but why invite people all that way and make them wait and spend more money when you could have just had them at the evening do? And we were sent a present list too. Bloody cheek!

CelticPromise Expecting people to hang around all afternoon is a bit rude in my opinion. I would not want any of my friends to feel less important than another so I would just never consider doing that. We came back after the dinner because my DP wanted to support his mate but some of our friends didn't, as they were so embarrassed.

Not as bad as some on here which have me

However, do try to pick a venue the right size for your guests...

the reception was in a hotel in a massive function room, with a lounge/bar area at one end up a few steps.

even if all guests had been in the function room it would have been a 3rd full at best. As it was, most people disappeared into the lounge at first opportunity and ensconced themselves in the comfy sofas never to move again for the duration.

The remaining 30ish guests were scattered around the enormous function room while a DJ in a leopard print leotard tried to get the dance floor going. He forced a few people up and tried some jolly antics

Anyone brave enough to have a go had to dodge the rolling tumble weeds and try to not to feel totally awkward under the attention of the frantic DJ, there would have been more atmosphere on the moon!

We did our best to have fun and be sociable, but as most of the core wedding party, including the couple, were chatting in pairs/fours in the lounge and no mixing, or any kind of activity whatsoever, was going on it was a dead loss and we left as soon as we politely could. :(

I wouldn't say my wedding day was a disaster; there were a lot of good things about it including the fact that I got to marry my DH . But my father provided a couple of dodgy moments. I didn't really want him there - he left when I was 14 and hasn't taken much interest in me since except when it suits him - but my mother begged me not to do that as he would take it out on her (yes, even though they were divorced).

At the reception he made a speech about some girl - I think it must have been his ideal daughter as it bore very little resemblance to me; my friends thought it was hilarious but I was mortified. Then he toasted me and my brother, instead of me and DH. Later on he escorted my granny back to her hotel - fair enough - but then didn't come back for ages. He and my mother were supposed to be paying the balance on the reception that evening, and she thought he'd done a runner and was furious. DH and I wanted to leave but had to wait around in case he didn't come back, and guests kept coming up to us apologetically and asking if we minded if they went because it was getting so late. When he eventually came back, it turned out he'd decided to have a nap at the hotel first .

You do get some funny guests as well though. Friends of mine had decided they could only afford a small wedding - family and close friends - so not all our crowd had been invited, which had been explained and we were fine with it. But one girl who hadn't been invited assumed it was an oversight and turned up to the reception, and couldn't understand why she wasn't on the seating plan. Rather than cause a fuss, bride and groom felt they had to find her a seat and a meal; I don't know if she knows the hassle she caused them even now! The same girl turned up at the christening of every child of the same group of friends assuming she was a godmother, even though she hadn't been asked ...

Truly the wedding from hell. German groom and French bride, so everything was translated into 3 languages (including English): the registry official, speeches, videos in reception etc. Wedding was in a registry office at 10am where no one had emptied the bins or made it look weddingy.

Bidesmaids hadn't bothered to dress up or brush hair, long walk to reception (3 miles) women struggling in high heels, blisters in the 35 degree heat. Another couple had a baby but no one told us the walk was going to be so long and they hadn't brought supplies. Husband eventually had to run back 3 miles to get them.

Photos taken on a park bench along the way, locals on skateboards staring and jeering at the wedding party.

Eventually arrived at reception but no water on offer, we were all dying of thirst and exhaustion. Only half glasses of cava on offer. No food. It was now 2pm and told there wouldn't be any food until the evening. Alot of us had headaches from dehydration.

Hung about while bride's family assembled chairs and tables and cooked the food!

Helped lay napkins.

5pm they sat us down and played excruciating home made videos of the bride and groom's child hoods (2 hours long each inc translations of jokes that did not translate).

7pm first course of a small dish of olives arrived.

10pm second course of lettuce leaves and dressing arrived.

So utterly bored and hungry by now we were laughing hysterically at how poorly organised and dreadful the wedding was. Bride's brother came over to our table to photograph 'how happy the guests are'

Couple with baby left as couldn't bear it any longer. Apology from bride's family for long waits 'due to having to wash up crockery and cutlery between courses.

1am third course served chicken slices in mayonnaise.

We left soon after. It was unbelievably bad and had blocked it from my mind until now!

The bride and groom were extremely well off but the groom apparently was 'touched' that the bride's family had wanted to do everything for their big day.

I don't mind the evening only invitations. I like a good party.

Wouldn't be pleased with a church then evening only invitation though. That would piss me off tbh.

Another bad one was a wedding a few years ago. Lovely wedding, great meal and speeches, few drinks with meal, all going well until there was a 2 hour lull between daytime do and nighttime do. The bridal party disappeared to their rooms and about 20 of us sat about waiting for the night do

The evangelical Christian one of a colleague - we only went to the reception, which was about 500 people at enormously posh London venue. First there was standing around in the public part of the venue while photos were done. For two hours. With no drinks or anything.
Then my boss heard it was going to be an alcohol-free wedding.

Which would have been OK I suppose, but the only drink on offer was fizzy grape juice. Which was foul.
Finally, after we'd been there for 3 hours, food is served. It looks great and we're about to tuck in - when they start doing speeches at the top table. There are honorary parents and grandparents of both bride and groom, each of whom talk for at least 10 minutes. To be fair, they are quite entertaining, especially the honorary grandfather chap who talked about his three wives and you saw at least 300 stony stares. But the food is getting very cold.

Finally they stop and declare we shall now eat (4pm). Except then one of the top table is moved to praise the Lord so there's another half hour of the room chanting and praying before we can actually tuck in. Shame, as the food would have been great if it was hot!

After that it got a bit surreal with various guests giving out sort of party favours to everyone - like a plastic washing-up rack each! But at least quite fun once we'd been fed.

Then there was my friend's one which was fine, in a hotel opposite a National Trust park, until the photographer got us to all cross the road to the park for some nice photos. And then it turned out he didn't have a permit to be there, so we all got chucked out. He also spent the day trying to convince the bride and her sister and SIL to do some 'glamour' shots - actually during the reception, not for later. They didn't. And then the photos didn't come out...

Mine is no reflection on the very hospitable bride and groom, but I still have nightmares about a drinks reception in a stately home with a 1 and 4 year old. Had to shadow DS constantly to stop him toppling armour and stuffed deer. DH took DD out for a walk into a mobile reception black hole so missed the call into dinner. I'd taken loads of books / drawing things / toys to entertain my kids and all the others there, but when dinner was called everyone strolled out leaving me to stuff it all into boxes and bags on my own and then attempt to carry that and a crying one year old through the grounds to the dining room. Had to try to maintain a decent distance between us and the bride and groom who were supposed to be having a romantic stroll to dinner, but who in the end turned back to try and help me. Lovely people, but so embarrassing for me to intrude. In the end I was rescued by the photographer's wife who took my stuff to the car, gave me a huge cuddle and DS a sweetie, and by DH returning in the nick of time.

And that, my friends, is why child-free weddings aren't such a bad idea after all...

The worst has to be the Shrek themed one, all guests had to dress up. Was a good friend and DH pleaded off so went as a generic fair maiden. Not sure i'd want to spend my wedding day in green body paint and shrek ears

A family wedding where we had to wait two hours at the reception venue waiting for the bride and her family to return from their own private photoshoot where the grooms family were not welcomed.

Another good friend was getting married in a small church which will take about 50 seated, she had the ushers issued with a list of the guests that were allowed in the church all others had to wait in the churchyard, even though we had invitations and had driven 6 hours to be there. Her reception was similarly done, not enough seats and no tables to put a plate or drink down on. A nice roast style dinner buffet [even had gravy] and I had to sit on the floor to eat it.

Wedding of an old school friend. I was surprised to be invited as I'd not seen her for years, but I went along with another school friend. Most guests lived fairly locally but we lived miles away so stayed in the hotel.
The wedding itself was fine, in a posh hotel, but we were surprised to find there were only about 40 people there (although chairs put out for twice as many)
It turns out there had been a family feud so half the guests didn't turn up!
The meal and reception were in this massive room that was practically empty. Most of the other guests left straight after the speeches. Some evening guests turned up and then left again within an hour. By 9pm there was just me, my friend, the bride and groom, the brides mum, the bridesmaid and the grooms sisters. We stayed on the dance floor with fixed smiles pretending everything was totally normal until the music finally stopped at 11 and we could go to the hotel bar and get pissed (it was a Muslim wedding so no alcohol to help with the sheer awfulness of it)

Oh just remembered another!

We were kindly hosted in brides' friends' stately home, all of us who had babies/toddlers.

We had such a good time with the hosts that when their dad announced he needed to check on the cattle before the evening reception (they had a herd of rare breed steers),my dh and a few others decided to go off and help him.

It was getting late for the evening reception and the slightly inebriated cattle checking party had not come back from the fields as we all waited.

Unfortunately the babysitter did not turn up either so I was unable to go to the reception! I decided on an early night and enjoy our night in the country pile.

Over an hour later the males returned having had to round up escaped cattle. They had to quickly change and then dash off to the reception, very very late.

Left alone, my dc and I decided to explore but we didn't know where the lights were and with huge moose heads and suits of armour on the landing it was quite eery/ scary so we had an early night in the 4 poster bed.

In the middle of the night suddenly the light in our room came on and 4 burly men in firemen uniform burst in.

For some strange reason I thought they had come to a fancy dress party and had got lost! They explained to me the fire alarm had gone off and they were checking to evacuate everyone from the building.

My poor dh told me later that the host had been told there had been a fire at the manor and had had to rush home, but he didn't want to worry anyone so didn't tell dh.

Dh wondered where the hosts had gone to be told about the fire so then managed to get another member of the bride's party to drive him back thinking me and dc had burned to death.

Later found out that the bride's mother was absolutely livid that the bride had to sit on her own for most of the evening reception as most of the people in the top table had either not turned up/had turned up very late/had to leave very early.

When DH proposed he agreed with me that everyone who was coming to watch us get married was coming to everything. I think it is rude to have a B list type situation where people only get invited to the evening do. As it turned out DH didn't want an evening do and we left at 6. Everyone went back to MIL's for a get together and DH and I went off to our bridal suite at the hotel. Wedding at 12, free bar after photos and until everyone went home. We were eating by 2.15 and it was great. Only thing I would change was the food as it wasn't what I was expecting but everyone seemed happy.