what is the oddest thing someone has done when you have visited their house?

[2shoeskickedtheeasterbunny]

mine was my DB, he did warn me but tbh I was so...... [bushock]
I was kind of 'oh ok"
he put old sheets on the floor to protect his carpet from...

dd's wheelchair wheels

guess where we won't be going again(this was after he insisted she was shoved in the corner of the table at a pub...just in case she got in the staff's way....WTF)

??? YOUR please

@ all of these stories! Mind you, I needed cheering up tonight and this thread has certainly achieved that.

Some of the sex ones reminded me of that episode of Alan Partridge where he and his long suffering PA Lynne visit a friend of Alans and get propositioned - 'Lynne, these are SEX PEOPLE' hisses Alan

Anyway, this collection of weird host stories has reminded me of one of my own.

Years ago now, me and the boyfriend at the time drove from Dorset to Huddersfield in an old Austin Metro. It took for absolutely ever to get there.

Finally arrived and his mate looks me up and down and says to boyf - 'I thought you said she was pretty' - the Bastard! I bloody was too considering I was all of 19 years of age back then and the rest of them were in their 30's.

Friends wife had cooked a roast dinner which was of course greeted with much enthusiasm by the boyf and I after such an epic journey.

Plates arrived in front of us and we spent ages trying to find the roast chicken. Eventually we unearthed a few strands hiding under a piece of Broccoli.

Cleared table after the meal to find the hostess in the kitchen stripping meat off of an almost intact chicken.

'Oooh, yes, the cat loves chicken so this is for him' she says.

We had much trouble suppressing our faces I can tell you.

I have two cats of my own and I love them to death but there is no way on this earth I would ever keep back a virtually intact roast chicken for them.

Weirdo's!

Garlicbunny, we never found out & assumed DSis & BIL had argued but the way they behaved was so strange I didn't like to ask [buconfused]

Not sure this counts as was in my own home, but DP got friendly with a guy at work, and as both he and his gf lived with their parents ended up inviting them over one night for takeaway, wine/beer and a film.

Friend offered to bring a DVD. Pleasant enough evening, few glasses of wine, conversation perfectly normal. New friend offered to put film on, and when I came back from refilling drinks the TV was lit up with a picture of a man shagging a chicken! [bushock].

WHO, just WHO, would think 'Animal Farm' would be a suitable dvd to watch with another couple they didn't know?

Awkward, especially as they were supposed to stay the night!

so glad that this thread has cheered a few people up,(except form alpinepony
[buhmm]) it makes for interesting reading

ImperialBlether, we just didn't ask. Which I suppose was equally strange.

They recently came to visit, stayed for lunch then left. They came all that way (they live abroad) just for lunch. I don't think BIL can stand my other people's company for very long.

Animal farm? Seriously.

Once had someone stay with me overnight with her boyfriend, and after they'd left the following day, found a used sanitary towel put on a bookshelf in the front room. The coupe had been staying on a sofa bed in that room overnight, so presume she could not be arsed to go to the loo...

at least it was the following day...

Once drove from Manchester to Exeter to stay with DH's DB and his then wife on a good friday so we said it'll take between six and ten hours, to get there (who knows with bank holiday traffic).

Anyway we got there about 1130am ish but we're told to go away because they weren't ready for us until 1pm! They spent the entire afternoon/evening telling us how they had to be up and out early the next morning so would need us to leave at about 6am and to make no noise that night as THEY HAD TO BE OUT EARLY! In the end we decided to not stay the night and went to a b&b instead! DBIL is not married to her anymore!

OMG, Pavlov, I did virtually that myself the other day when friend was staying. Feel mortified enough and now you mention it! Only it was in bathroom. Was removed and put down to take to bin in other room, only forgot it. She went in after me. When I went again in the morning I realised it was still there. Wasn't not arsed, just forgot.... aargh!

To make you forget that...
Once stayed with DH at his friend's house. The host couple showed us to our room... where we realised the bed was not "fresh", and when we straightened out the sheet, it had an Indian sub-continent shaped stain in the middle. Yuk! Worse though, although we took it off and slept on mattress... there was still the problem that they might think it was us that left it...

consider you were in the toilet itself, so easy enough t forget. My friend was in my front room, and put it on a book shelf...

I would less embarrassed in your position than in my friends. Except I never told her, as I was so embarrassed on her behalf.

True but consider not finding it for a week and wondering where the smell was coming from...

Marking my place :)

mnhubbie that is just a vile vile thought!

Went to a friend's house for lunch. Her toddler DD was potty training at the time and friend put the potty on the table and DD sat on it throughout the meal .

I was invited to a dinner party once. And after we had eaten dessert, the hostess pulled out some receipts and charged us for the dessert we had just eaten. Apparently, she had gone over budget for the dinner party.....................everyone was so shocked they coughed up the couple of quid required. I was pretty impressed that anyone would actually have the balls to do that although she turned out to be a sociopath extraordinaire

Another dinner party, different crowd. We were all happily tucking into a pheasant pie which contained pheasant shot that day 'on the hunt' They were old aristoracy types - non-pretentious but jolly types iykwim. Anyhow, I was pregnant at the time and they were literally forcing me to get pissed......."come on, it's only a sherry? this wine is spectacular, you simply must try it....etc". It was extraordinary coercion and they would not take no for an answer. And then I took a bite into the pheasant pie and wooooooaaaaaahhhhh, there was something incredibly hard that cracked my tooth and then started me off choking........and much to my surprise, the reaction was not one of concern about my well being but "hurrrraayyy, you found the bullet, well done old chap". Lead bullet. Pregnant. Choking. Hurray indeed.

carabos Why? On the table? Why?
I'm laughing ouy loud at so many of these and completely [bushock] at the rest. [bugrin]

Before smoking became unacceptable indoors, one of my parents' friends used to have actual 'no smoking' signs up in her house. I mean, fair enough if you don't want people to smoke in your house, but why not just tell them? (I realise this is nothing compared to the majority of this thread btw!)

Hermione YES dbil and exsil were rude, but...errm, what fucking unearthly time did you set off from home to be with them @ 11.30am ?

Another MIL one! We lived 3 hours away so "popping in" is not a weekly/regular event. We recently had been invited up to see them! Plan was to pop in and see them for a few hours in the afternoon, they had mentioned they would offer us a light late lunch and that they would expect us about 1.30, we would then go onto other family early evening to stay the night etc. Then a big family get together in a pub for Sunday lunch the next day before heading back home early Sunday evening.

So we turn up at ILs house just before 1.30 but there is no reply. We sit in car on their driveway and call their house and mobiles. No reply. After 45 minutes of trying this there is still no reply and we and DC are hungry for lunch. So we head off to a local pub for a light lunch. Whilst there we constantly phone but no reply.

After our lunch and 1 hour later we head back and they are in. MIL ushers us into the lounge and locks the front door behind us. FIL is nowhere to be seen. Bare in mind they invited us and have not seen us or DC for 3 months. We were made a cuppa etc but MIL makes no explaination as to where they were. An hour passes and FIL still nowhere to be seen. Eventually MIL tells us they had popped over to a neigbours at 1pm for a slice of birthday cake as it was neighbours birthday. No apology or mention of being over an hour late to greet us. but hey ho. After an hour and half FIL comes down stairs and says hello. DH makes a comment about wondering where he had been. FIL tells us he was upstairs bust downloading music onto his MP3 - Dont mind us driving 3 hours to visit you then .

He then says they were not in when we arrived because they needed to go to the shop to buy special food in for our lunch. We had not mentioned we had been to the pub and eaten whilst waiting for them to come home - but despite this they didnt offer us any lunch (thank god) and only a biscuit which we were told we could only have 1 each because they were Foxes and not Sainsburys own! We were never offered lunch - so what shop and special food for our lunch FIL was on about remains a mysetry - as does theire whereabouts as MIL says they were having birthday cake with their neighbour .

Just weird.

Anyway DC are bored etc etc so I suggest they play on their nintendo, which they have leftt in the car. I go to open the door to get it from car and cannot get out because the front door is locked. So I ask how to open the door, if there is a key etc. Both MIL and FIL ask me why I want the key. I mention I want to get something from the car and instea dof just handing me the key they continue to question me about WHAT EXACTLY I want from the car. Eventually they get the key and it just so happens DH gets the Nintendos in. 20 minutes or so later. One goes flat the DC need the charger which is......in the car. Once again we have aske "permission" to unlock the front door to go to OUR car. Once again they ask us why? what for?? etc etc. Absolutely bonkers

This time I go out. I am not allowed the key. Fil has to unlock the door for me. Then he stands there looking at me and waiting in the door way for me to find the charger. I am also thinking I had better bloodywell get anything else I need at the same time as obviously asking to unlock the door is a bit of an issue!! I eventually find the charger and go back in the house and FIL locks the front door and puts the key in his pocket.

It was bizarre!! Really odd! My ILs have always been rather odd and imo rude. But this was absolutely off the wall even for them.

BIL and SIL popped in whilst we were there and they had the same treatment when they needed to pop out to the car for the nappy bag for their baby!

It was more the big deal about hiding the key. It was they way they had to unlock and relock the door, they could not just say yeah heres the key, give it back when your done!!

Just weird and we have never found out where they were or why they didnt answer the door when we first arrived either!

Oh and also poor DD1 (13yo) was bemused but too polite to question it when MIL made her a drink of squash in a twin handled tommee tippee cup (thankfully minue the lid)!!

I am in stitches reading this thread!! Some mad mad stories on here!

Cannot believe the kitchen sex!! OMG and that wedding one where you had to pay for their wedding !!!!!!

Went to a wedding of my X's friend a few years ago. Friend's cousin was there with her 2 boys (6 & 12) and DP. Wedding was lovely and reception in nearby hotel then evening party.

Come the eve party aforementioned cousin had arranged with her DM to collect boys and take them home to bed. Oldest one had made friends with some other boys and was having a whale of a time so asked to stay. The cousin agreed and asked her DM to just take youngest.
Her DM said no she was taking both home as the cousin needed some 'adult time'. Cousin says' no really it's alright DM leave eldest he's having great time'. DM starts to argue and shout at her daughter that she won't be picking up the pieces when her partner leaves her because they never have time to themselves.

Bride's mother hears the commotion and comes over and starts saying 'ahh leave him, he's having lovely time. is no bother etc.

Cousin's DM and bride's mother then start rowing at the top of their voices. Bride comes over and as row continues slaps Cousin's DM who 'is hysterical'.

Cue all out row with various people holding back various others now numbering about 15 people.

Manager of hotel arrives to calm everything down and ends up making the cousin's DM leave - with neither child!

We were [bushock] but laughed after. Bride not quite so amused. Party ruined and she wasn't even a guest [bugrin]

My friend and I were once invited to another friend's house with our DDs to celebrate her DDs 3rd birthday (Our DDs were both 6 at the time.) She said she wasn't having an actual party as she had only moved to the area recently and we were the only 2 friends she had made, and she wasn't close to her family. She told us that she would do a birthday tea for the DDs with cake and candles etc. She told us this about 3 days before, in front of our DDs who were both looking forward to it, this would have been obvious to friend.

We arrived at friend's house at the arranged time only to find her and her DD both still in their pyjamas, and her DD with a streaming cold. We handed over presents, made a fuss of her DD etc, then sort of just sat there not really knowing what to do with ourselves. My DD broke the ice when she spotted the huge, beautiful birthday cake on the kitchen side and asked friend when we would be having cake. Friend replied that as her DD wasn't feeling too well she wasn't going to do the birthday tea after all, and noone would be having cake. Our DDs little faces fell and we were just . None of us (not even the children) were offered so much as a glass of water in the whole time we were there.

We didn't say anything at the time (still in a bit of a daze!) but made our excuses pretty quickly, got out of there and took our DDs for a MacDs then onto posh cake shop for pudding as we felt so bad for them. As soon as we left, friend and I kind of looked at each other and just went "Did that..." "Do you think..." "Did you hear..." both shocked at the rudeness. We pulled 'friend' up on it afterwards and she just claimed she wasn't thinking and didn't realise the girls would be disappointed!

I still don't understand why she didn't just phone/text and postpone or cancel beforehand. (Maybe because she still wanted the presents...)

A man from the insurance company came to look at damage caused by a leak. He asked a few questions and then said 'Can I talk to your husband? women don't tend to understand plumbing'. Then on noticing my huge cookery book collection, he says 'I bet you are a good cook, I find women are best off in the kitchen'

The fucking cheek of it. The mortgage is in my name. And I am responsible for it.

And I have never been married!