what is the oddest thing someone has done when you have visited their house?

[2shoeskickedtheeasterbunny]

mine was my DB, he did warn me but tbh I was so...... [bushock]
I was kind of 'oh ok"
he put old sheets on the floor to protect his carpet from...

dd's wheelchair wheels

guess where we won't be going again(this was after he insisted she was shoved in the corner of the table at a pub...just in case she got in the staff's way....WTF)

??? YOUR please

Visiting my friend, she allows her shitzu to sit on the table... So it would wander all around our cups.... then paw at you to pet it... She would laugh, isn't he so sweet!

Years ago as a penniless young student I decided to travel to the north of Scotland for a holiday. A friend arranged for me to stay the night at an acquaintances of theirs house en route, a suggestion I gratefully accepted as short on cash.
So the night in question arrives. The couple I am to stay with pick me up at the station and take me to their house. All well and good, and they seem like a nice ordinary, friendly middle aged couple.
We get in, they show me the spare room and a cup of tea is offered. Polite small talk is made around the kitchen table. After a while the wife gets up, puts her coat on, gives her husband a kiss and goes out. It's pretty late by this time.
Feeling a little awkward now, I attempt further small talk with the husband. However he leaves the room, and comes back in with a magazine.
He opens the magazine and brandishes it towards me. In it is a large picture of his wife, stark naked, legs akimbo. It is a swingers contact magazine. As I recoil in shock he calmly explains that they both enjoy sex with strangers. His wife has in fact gone for the night to meet up with a stranger -arranged through the contact magazine - for sex and won't be back for the night. So therefore, he continues, how would I feel about a night of sex with him!!

Panic! No I bloody do not want to!!

A thought runs through my head to leg it but then I consider that it is past midnight by now, I am in the wilds of Scotland miles from anywhere and don't really have a clue where I am.

So I mutter 'Erm no, it's not my sort of thing, I have a boyfriend, I'll just go to bed now on my own if that's ok, thanks for putting me up etc', and before anything else can be said I scoot off to my bedroom, and pull the wardrobe and the bed in front of the door to barricade myself in for the night. The man taps at the door feebly and asks 'Am I sure I don't want to have sex with him'. Yes, quite sure thank you.

I fled early the next morning.

Looking back, I don't know how I dared stay the night. And how polite I was!

Ex bf mum made me sit on a towel if I was wearing jeans,it was a dark fabric sofa. Never allowed to use the loo at an old school friends house,had to pee in the garden.
If I was having a sleepover at one friends house I had to wait in sitting room while they had breakfast and I waited for the first bus.

Nominated this for classics. Mnhq please excuse slighy boast tone, am on phone

I have nc for this as it would out me!
Not at someones house but odd behaviour at a christening.

We went to a family christening (cousin my side) the service was at 12 so noone had eaten, there was a gathering afterwards, walking distance away. We got there, everyone was ravenous, they gave all the children bags of sweets, so they were running about like crazy high on sugar.

They passed the 11 week old baby round to have his picture taken being held by every guest. He was getting more and more upset there were 300 ish guests my elderly aunt has never had children and was uncomfortable holding the tiny baby, she was forced to and being ever so poilte sho obliged but was terribly uncomfortable.

At 3.30 we had to leave (we had arranged to go to a friends house for a cuppa after the christening) the food still hadnt arrived and we (me and dh) had to make a mad dash to a supermarket with 3 screaming children.

The food had been ordered for 4 oclock, 'so that everyone could get drunk and enjoy the disco first' it was a christening! We were expecting to be away by two ish at the latest!

Does Animal Farm really have somebody shagging a chicken in it? I watched that a lot as a child (mind you my parents never did put much thought into censorship...)

Or was it some cheesy porn version (Anal Farm?) :o

Years ago when I was living in London we had a bit of a house party, just a few close friends (teeny flat).
We were all hanging about in the kitchen, as you do, and noticed that one if my newer friends had vanished, nobody had seen him for over an hour.
Went to find him and found him bollock naked, sat at my computet, happily beating himself off and watching porn he'd downloaded to my machine. Cheeky fucker looked at me with a face and implied I was being rude for interrupting him!

Scone crumbs

Dead granny

Guests pay for the wedding

And lots of being pursued for sex

This has it all.

When I was getting married my bridesmaid and I looked at dresses for her and saw some she liked. I then saw one she had liked as 20% off online (was debenhams) and text her to say, and offered to buy it if it was the one she liked. She then replied saying she would buy her outfit as a wedding gift to me and proceeded to buy it online which I thought was great.

Then she asked me to meet in town to look for her shoes and bag to match and to show me the dress on etc so we did and we found a pair of shoes she "quite liked" but were in the sale (so couldn't return) so she bought them anyway saying they would match the dress for other occasions even if she chose others for the wedding. Then we went back to mine and looked on ebay and she bought another pair she "may return". Whatever, she got some shoes and all was well.

At the same time I was doing a charity 10k so had emailed all friends family asking for donations. She replied to this to say that she couldn't justify sponsoring my run and she "didn't realise how much my wedding was going to cost her". I was mortified and confused so called her thinking some mistake had been made and she thought she had to pay for something else but then she told me on the phone that I hadn't offered to buy her two pairs of shoes and she was now in debt. I was at the time totally polite and said I thought she meant that she was going to buy them as the present as she said "outfit" but she then was saying only the dress. So I said that's fine, I'll send you money for the shoes and get your bag (I had already bought and given her jewellery as a bridesmaid present). But she wouldn't let it go and went on and on about how awful I was being! I hung up eventually saying I would talk later but then told her it would be best she wasn't bridesmaid.

Couldn't believe she would buy the dress which cost £150 but then call me stingy for not paying for her TWO pairs of shoes of around £30-40 which I didn't know I was to be paying for and which she would keep anyway. Plus we had bought her an expensive bridesmaid present and were paying for her hotel room on the night before AND after the wedding!!!! In the end my Mum decided to send her a cheque for the dress cost to cut all ties and perceived debts with her and she proceeded to wait to cash the cheque on the day of my wedding to make a point (a month and a half after she sent it).

INSANITY. Suffice to say I've never seen, or wish to see her, again!

This thread is brilliant.
My contributions:

On visiting my in laws for the first time ever (with DD, 3 step DDs and a 6 month pg bump), we walked in to the living room where FIL was sat sitting in an armchair with a bottle of beer in hand, in a string vest. (This was only 1992 btw). He said hello, and would I like a drink? I replied that I would, and he said "Go and look in the cupboard down the hall then" and proceeded to swig from his bottle, and turned back to the TV. The rest of the visit continued in the same vein. XP had inherited the same manners so am glad to shot of him now.
I know it isn't as shocking as some of these but wanted to offload!

My DM used to charge us rent for visiting over xmas. The rate was £25 p/w, this was 1984. I was 18 and a poor student. Good way of getting rid of us though, thanks mum.

Ours was when we were invited round by a friend of DH and his newish gf for a film and a takeaway. Went round there, all normal, had the takeaway, some wine and a catch up, then put the film on. It was a film about this guy who takes a job as a security guard in a condemned building, which turns out to be haunted, I can't remember the name of it.

So DH and I got settled on one double settee and DH's friend and his GF were on another, a couple of feet away. But instead of watching the film (which tbf wasn't very good) they spent the whole time writhing around on the sofa, one on top of the other snogging furiously! DH and I were watching the boring film, politely trying to ignore the practical sex show going on across the room.

This continued through at least half the boring film until suddenly GF surfaced from under BF, peered at the film for a minute and went "so who's that guy?" (that guy being pretty much the only character in the film in the film, which had by now been on for the best part of an hour).

Well they only got up and started the film again from the start. And then recommended relations on the sofa. DH and I had to watch the whole thing again from the start for no good reason.

We didn't set off especially early but there was just no traffic an this was pre-dc so no pit stops every ten minutes! it was and remains the best run we have ever had down there!

Dh is a panicker though so it would have been somewhere around 6:30 ish. He has chilled the fuck out calmed down since or I will kill him.

I forgot I say they didn't offer us lunch either! God love her but she was bonkers.

This thread is brilliant. Makes me feel normal

Recently I stayed with the ILs for a week. They live abroad and cultural norms are v different. There are 7 adults and 2 babies living in their 2 bed flat, plus an auntie and grown up cousin were staying, so pretty chocka. DS and I do get abedroom to ourselves but still. Anyway, SIL who doesn't live there invited us to stay at hers for 2 nights, plenty of space, just her, bil and dn, for peace and quiet. We happily went, first night there was lovely, great night's sleep etc.

The next day, she cooks an amazing lunch which never gets eaten because her nosy neighbour lets herself in to the house (she has access for the roof terrace) and they start to row about nosy neighbour coming in and snooping when they aren't home. Being a hot headed type of people this row soon gets physical, neighbour smashes sil's picture on the stone steps, SIL has to be restrained, other neighbours turn up and get involved. I'm trying to stay out of the way with DS and dn, getting pretty pissed off.

After it calmed down a bit we all went back to Mil's house where I stayed for the night. SIL went home with another SIL. Younger SIL comes back later brandishing a clump of hair that she has pulled out of beighbour's head, and showing a small cut on her finger from where she grabbed a knife from neighbour's DH

When SIL comes up the following day she asks me why I didn't being DS back down for the night? Hmmmmmm.....

'On visiting my in laws for the first time ever (with DD, 3 step DDs and a 6 month pg bump), we walked in to the living room where FIL was sat sitting in an armchair with a bottle of beer in hand, in a string vest'

Could have been worse!

First time I met my now FIL, he was also sat there having a drink... only when he got up it wasn't a string vest that was the issue, but that despite the jumper on his top helf, from waist down he only had string pants on!

Turned out he was known for it and even walked his dog like that; 6 years after he spilt from MIL at which time that and all similar oddities ceased immediately, I think he was trying to make uber-upright MIL chuck him out

Hmm I'm in a wheelchair and anyone wants to tuck me out the way better get prepared for an ear bashing let alone the fact I infact need more room to move

Your Dd is not a little child in a buggy to me it seems very odd

Fuzzpig

I'm fairly sure the George Orwell version doesn't have any bestiality scenes, but this was indeed some cheesy porn version from the seventies by the looks of the bushes

Leftwingharpie why didn't you leave when they re-started the film.... think I would have 'gone to the loo' never to be seen again at that point! [bushock]

These are so funny. I can't believe some people. I may do something bonkers to see if I will end up being discussed in a chat room. [bugrin]

Although to be fair to the bed sheet on the carpet man, he may be one of those ultra fussy types who insists that everyone takes their shoes off when they come in his house and walk on his carpets. I suppose if the wheelchair wheels were the equivalent of outdoor shoes he was just treated the disabled person with complete equality. Did you have to take your shoes off, OP?

Having met THC, LMAO at the idea of her being tucked aside......

I'm sure vicar at friends Dd Christer ing will pop up soon or someone from the party . Who was asked where her then dp was . Describing the nutter who apologised saying Jesus could not make the christening due to work . But hoped to make the party after .

The look on her guests faces who thought I was taking the Mick and I was told in no uncertain terms that this is not an approaite time to make jokes like that .

Tried to explain I was not being funny Jesus really was busy. Not twigging as I was wrestling with a stropy 2 year old a grump ss age 9 and being pregnant and being pretty pissed of with Jesus too

In end friend had to say something as people were telling her that her friend was a nutter She stood up and said tHC is not loosing the plot and not called Mary her dp is really called Jesus .

I Am no longer with Jesus but do have 2 sons of Jesus

Gin I really have no idea! I suppose it wasn't so bad that we'd have wanted to make a scene about it, and it was a good tale to recount to all our other friends!

At least they weren't having full sex in the same bed as us, or conceiving their first child on the bunk below. By comparison with those tales it seems like quite reasonable behaviour!