BODEN the endless threads about quality. These have been around since Dawn of time.

[Fregley]

In the Beginning there was the word and the word was with johnny. And the word was johnny.

Through him all clothes were made; without him nothing was made that was of bad quality.

In him was sass and that sass was the light of women.

Lol also at three fabrics.

Coming to this thread late but just want to make clear that Johnny Boden did NOT invent me, on the first day or any other.

Though this thread is PROPER FUNNY. Old MN style. Wit aboundeth here.

SuePurblit = SuPurb.

Johnnie did look upon the land and did decree that the anointed shall receive an invitation to a Town Hall Sale, to held in a barn on an industrial estate. For two weeks the apostles will fast and devote themselves to Boden.

Under the cover of darkness the weary apostles shall gather having travelled from afar. At first light they shall survey the queue and quickly divine the Heathens amongst them and pity their belief in false gods. At the ninth hour the door of the barn shall open. In rusheth the chosen. Those on their first pilgrimage will look on in reverence at the 1000 square foot of true Boden.

High Priestesses, in their feverance, shall pile their baskets high with all of the Boden of Mini. Whereuponce they shall pay for their goods, return home and spread the good work of the Lord by selling the wares on Ebay.

But, Lo, the sun darkened and the moon would not give its light. And the Lord God Johnny B showeth himself to be a jealous God!

'Submit to my 'fun' cord skirt and stretch boots!' sayeth he, 'And turn not towards thy false idols, White Stuff and Fat Face, for they know not the (chic, embellished) way of the Lord and are worshipped only by the wicked and misguided Tunicites and Floralites and others from the evil Twelve Tribes of Peruna...'

etc etc

very funy thread, btw!

Thus it came to pass that the Pharisees, who were verily clothed only
in Per Una Speziale, went forth.
Johnnie wept.

The nextites fell before Johnny and did flagellate.

'Begone' he sayeth, 'you have forsaken me oh foul daughters of those Tribes of Peruna. You are damned to walk the earth for all eternity in fussy garments with disproportionately large embellishments.'

And they did weep

But verily even as they rent their tunics the web drew them further in with enticing offers and cunning words and further tunics to replace the rent and even there were raiments for those bearing child for Johnny did covet all the little children to be brought unto him even whilst in utero

And to spread the good word, Johnnie did decree that there be parteeeeees.
At church halls, schools and loyal followers' homes the disciples arrived . Hear the swish of their skirts and the clip clop of their pony skin flats.
And Johnnie reminded them" Thou shalt not covert thy neighbours' fun skirt or their favourite V neck cardigan. Thou shalt only be redeemed when thou purchase thine."

And just as the loyal followers were just about to loose their way and waver in their blind following of all that johnnie proclaimed up popped a message from the lord himself. Delivered by the favourite tool(email) it said "come my loyal followers and read the true views of my disciples and how they demonstrate their loyalty for they are just like you." And so the loyal flock dutifully logged on and clicked the reviews and found that there were many believers, all waxing on about their fun loving tunics or flat pumps or hotch potch wears and they felt relieved all was not lost to them.

This thread had me laughing out loud today sitting at the next table to a "johnnie follower" keep it up ladies.

Lol at pony skin clip clop

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I dressed in appliqued garments as a child: but when I became a woman, I should have put away childish things. For now we see in a glass dimly in the changing room of life that there cometh a time for every woman when she must renounce the fun T shirt and the flippy skirt and embrace chinos and sensible flats.

Now black, silver and navy pumps abide but the greatest of these is navy .

And the Lord Johnnie spoke to Aylleesun (favourite colour: vintage clematis flowerburst) and bade her forsake not the favourite cami in ocean blue and the brushed cotton pull-ons while she drive-eth the children to school. For glory shall come unto thee who shows that Boden loveliness shall be effortless and can be dressed up with lace trimmed cardigan. And Aylleesun obeyed the Lord and the Lord gave unto her an early summer preview.

SuePurblyBit, you literally made me LOL ....

"Then sayeth Thalia (33), that the glory was to be found in fresh baked bread. But the masses knew she speaketh with forked tongue and did Not Do Carbeths "

Lol at summer preview

Surely his Spring Previews and 15% off e-vouchers will follow me
all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of Johnny B forever.

The lords my shepherd I shall not want.
He maketh me to skip tweely in green pastures
He causeth me to look fondly at surfie children beside still waters
He restoreth my soul.

And though I walk in the valley of the shadow of white stuff
I shall fear no evil baggy shapelessness
For johnny is with me and his hotch and his potch bringeth me comfort

And those that were untrue to the Lord Johnnie or worshipped at other altars; and those whose mockery and jibes were graven upon the binary tablet; and those whose nets were cast maternal; yea, even these said lo! let one of our number inscribe the number of these verses at the place where the Lord tweeteth, so that the Lord may see and know what he has done. For the Lord may laugh even at himself; and if he be an Egg, may prove himself thereby to be Good.

Then sayeth Thalia (33), that the glory was to be found in fresh baked bread. But the masses knew she speaketh with forked tongue and did Not Do Carbeths

SuePurblyBit you too are so funny and you made me lol!!

I bloody love this thread

And lo, the

And actually nothing’s changed in all that time

My aim in life has just been confirmed: to be as funny as @SuePurblybilt

This thread is amazing.

I'd love to bring this thread back from the dead - still funny 😁

Still as relevant as it was 11years ago!

Haven't laughed this much in ages 😂