Center Parcs & Anal sex

[shadyl]

So for the past 4 years I've been badgering DH for us to go to Center Parcs. He's been reticent on account of it being 'naff' and 'like Butlins but with trees' I disagree but anyway...

Eventually we went to Center Parcs, Longleat over the Christmas period (it was great) and I noticed that he had packed a tube of KY but didn't think anything of it. So we get back home and he makes some silly joke about 'no bumfun' despite 'my promises'.

Now there is no way in hell anything is ever going up my back bottom so I questioned what he meant (assuming he was joking). And he said that "according to Mumsnet" Center Parcs =anal sex. Apparently I had told him this over 4 years ago.

I have no memory of this link between Center Parcs and anal. Can someone confirm that there is a Center Parcs/anal meme in the same vein as nice ham?

Anyway, I got the hump.
He claims he was joking and made it all up because he thought I would find it funny
It's all too weird and I'm still a bit offended. Can't tell if I'm being oversensitive and it really was all a joke or whether he really did think that bum-business was on the menu.

I chOked on some spit, laughing at this thread

Centre Parcs. For a holiday the weather can't spoil. But your DH might.

We've never been to Centre Parcs - 'tis too posh and expensive for us . We tried Haven and Butlins instead, and the horrors of both still linger. But we like bumfun. Not sure how that is helpful or relevant.

Maybe it's because when you add up all the extra costs of the activities, you realise Centre Parcs have fucked you up the ass.....

What does nice ham mean then?

It's not Friday.

Have just scared people on the dlr with laughing

This is too funny, BUT when I read the title I remember a comedian recently linking the 2, don't have any more information floating around in my brain cells but I don't think hes made it up

Your husband is an absolute legend.

Googled the only link I could find was one comment on a thread but I don't know how to make links

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/uk/790405-how-can-I-actually-enjoy-center-parcs-next-time/AllOnOnePage

ha, I vote this for classics, the title alone should win an award. Poor you OP.

I think you probably have had a small sense of humour failure op, afterall we're all laughing we know mumsnet is always right but telling you about bumsex at centre parcs is taking it too far and you won't fall for his trickery.

Perhaps it might be a time to have a gentle chat about anal sex. Keep your family and holidays out of it, because that isn't the point. He just used that as a clumsy way of bringing up the subject. Does he want it, think about it?

Is it something you would do? Is it something you would let him do with someone else?

Sigh. Why are men so complicated???? Why do they look at disgusting shit on their computers and then think their lives are incomplete without it?

There's an American themed restaurant at Center Parcs, Longleat.
Perhaps he misheard that it was a good place to get "some Becks"

Fab thread

from the above link:

moondog Sat 25-Jul-09 16:23:27

CP sounds utterly utterly hideous.
I would rather have bum sex with Keny Ball than endure days of archery and tricycle riding in a walled camp.

Maybe Centre Parcs needs re-named to "A Little off Centre Parcs"

Fab thread

I think CP lends itself to trauma. I have been once - in Belgium - and was stood naked in the middle of the living room with the patio doors open, as you do - we backed on the lake so weren't overlooked.....

I looked up to find a whole family on a pedalo staring at me aghast! Those poor children.....

I adore the title of this thread!

I adore the title of this thread!

I was considering taking DD for a couple of days.
If DH isn't with us, who'll do my bumsex?

This is just marvellous.

Kreecher, if you don't bring your own bumsex partner, there are apparently "reasonably priced" alternatives available on site (no actual prices listed). They even have a 'watersports' section in case bumsex isn't exotic enough.

Willybreeder, I too have recently heard this expression used on TV by a female comedian on some panel show or something.

At the time I remember thinking, she must have got that line from a Mumsnet discussion. I'm going to rack my brain to remember who said it......