to get disproportionately angry when songs do not make sense

[WTAF]

In the car today, radio on, and they start playing All Around The World by Lisa Stansfield. Instantly I felt the rage creeping up.

'Been around the world and I, I
I can't find my baby,
I don't know why, why he's gone away '

YES YOU FUCKING DO, LISA! Allow me to refer you to your own words, not 30 seconds ago, when you said (and I quote):

'We had a quarrel, and I let myself go
I said so many things, things he didn't know
And I was oh, oh so bad'

And then, and then, LISA, you go on to say

'I did too much lying, wasted too much time'

So you do know, you know exactly why he's gone away, so you should just STFU and concentrate on finding him to apologise. Not singing that bullshit trying to make us feel sorry for you, when clearly it is all YOUR FAULT.

I feel better for that. Anyone else?

And another thing

Beyonce, love. It probably doesn't suck to be him right now. He's probably really happy and getting on with his life, in fact he is probably well rid of the psycho/stalker who goes on and on and fucking on about how over him she is. She's so over him, she writes a song about it and screeches it to the world.

How about the Spice Girls' "Yellow man in Timbuktu". Wrong, and a bit offensive too.

Ain't no hollaback (sp) girl? Excuse me?

I think it means, "if you yell obscenities at me in the street, I'm not going to retaliate verbally. Let's just have a fight and sort it out now."

"Do they know it's Christmas time?"

Well, that depends on how indoctrinated they were by colonisation and the Christian missionaries, doesn't it?

WORST SONG EVER MAKES ME SO ANGRY ARRRRGH

Melpomene you're spoiling it! I'm going with dick cheese.

Haircut 100 - worst filler lyrics ever:

Where do we go from here?
Is it down to the lake, I fear.

Ay ay ay ay ay ay.
Ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay...

For cheese - please say you mean Richard Cheese. He's awesome and makes stupid songs brilliantly funny, in a lounge style. He was particularly fun at Sonisphere :)

Sugarhill gang gobbledygook :)

i said a hip hop the hippie the hippie
to the hip hip hop, a you dont stop
the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie
to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat

Absolute nonsense x 1000.

What about Shakira's small and humble breasts?

Brilliant OP. Shades of Stewart Lee.

Kanye West's "Golddigger" - "Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger"...OK Kanye, so what seems to be the problem? "...but she ain't messing with no broke niggas". Well, in that case you ARE saying she's a gold digger, Kanye; that's exactly what you're saying, in this line and in the rest of the song. So don't be coy.

This isn't an example of a song that doesn't make sense, but Paul McCartney's "Live and Let Die" always makes me cross. I usually scorn grammar pedantry, but how could he not have noticed the idiotic extra "in" that messes up the line "this ever changing world in which we live in"? If it was a scanning problem, he could have just made "live" have an extra syllable, thus "li-ive", which is a bit rubbish, I grant you, but at least makes sense.

Ahh I can answer the 'Relax, don't do it' question.

It's don't relax, (don't relax if you want to 'finish')

...and that's straight from the horses mouth - my brother actually asked Holly Johnson!

"If I had myself a flying giraffe, I'd have one in a box with a window" stereophonics, saw upthread about someone's dh changing song lyrics.... thanks to my dh it will now always be "last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you said you were gay....."

Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball.

Righto Noel. Liam. Frank. Whichever of you wrote that abomination. My money's on Frank.

hedley don't even get me started on "supersonic"

I always felt was a trifle foolish...

What about therecent cover of The Calling's 'Where ever you will go' by Charlene Soraia?? "I'll go where wevver you will go"

It's where ever you idiot!!! Pronounce it properly or don't sing it all! You can do it in the first chorus so why can't you at the end!

The Reflex is a lonely child
He's waiting by the Park
The Reflex is in charge of finding
Treasure in the dark
And watching over lucky clover, isnt that bizarre?
Every little thing the Reflex does
Leaves you answered with a question mark

?

I LOVE this thread. I was in such a grumpy mood and this has cheered me right up! Thank you all!

I share the anger but get some pleasure from focusing the rage and would miss it if all songs made sense.

I have a feeling that small and humble breasts is biblical - Song of Songs maybe? Song of Solomon?

Coldplay's Parachutes is baffling.

I love daft lyrics- Katie Melua always gets a bashing on these threads (rightly so)- but it is Mike Batt's fault- he who gave us- 'Remember you're a Womble'- like you might wake up one day and forget

And Wonderwall, btw was named after a film of the same name, and the sountrack, which was written by George Harrison. Still doesn't explain what one is though

Just to bring it back to Alanis Morissette...

Didn't she get pelted with a load of Dictionary's because there's absolutely nothing ironic about her song "Ironic"?

I don't like it when a rhyme is more important than good grammar. If I were the Queen I would have outlawed the word "ain't" a LONG time ago.

Donny Osmond / Boyzone:

Don't love me for fun, girl
Let me be the one, girl
Love me for a reason
Let the reason be love.

Tautology if ever I heard it.

Just a quick question for Denice Williams. So, your baby don't talk sweet, ain't got much to say, Dont dress fine, may not be rich and sings off key. What is it that he does so well, because he doesn't appear to have a great deal going for him?