to get disproportionately angry when songs do not make sense

[WTAF]

In the car today, radio on, and they start playing All Around The World by Lisa Stansfield. Instantly I felt the rage creeping up.

'Been around the world and I, I
I can't find my baby,
I don't know why, why he's gone away '

YES YOU FUCKING DO, LISA! Allow me to refer you to your own words, not 30 seconds ago, when you said (and I quote):

'We had a quarrel, and I let myself go
I said so many things, things he didn't know
And I was oh, oh so bad'

And then, and then, LISA, you go on to say

'I did too much lying, wasted too much time'

So you do know, you know exactly why he's gone away, so you should just STFU and concentrate on finding him to apologise. Not singing that bullshit trying to make us feel sorry for you, when clearly it is all YOUR FAULT.

I feel better for that. Anyone else?

I will never be able to listen to these songs again without laughing! Love this thread!

"Santa Baby, please slip a sabre under the tree for me"?

Who does she think she is? One of D'Artagnan's friends?

Sable!

I love the DD who misheard Shakin' Stevens' "Merry Christmas Everyone!" I am going to sing her version from now on.

Am I the only one who has been irked by a few carols lately?

"Mild he lays his glory by..."

He does what?

laughing at "slip a sabre under the tree" now!! As pointed out, it's sable, and is of course highly un-PC now (or should that be PinC? )

Pishwife, I'd insert a comma there - "Mild, he lays his glory by" - perhaps meek would work better than mild in that context but humble won't fit.

I love this thread has kept me sane over the last couple of days at work.
I used to work at a university in Turkey and when I was there this song was the most popular on going.
AS a foreign song "Kuzu Kuzu" to my ears direct translation was I want to kiss/f**k my sheep.Turkish slang which took ages for me to understand it refers to lady bits, made slightly more sense but the singer is bi but v cute

lyricstranslate.com
ook! My arms and wings are broken
No, I couldnt hold on
Hard! To be without you is hard
I couldnt get used to
Hit this stupid head by the stone
Against the wall - to get sevap*
Then forgive me, come to me
Lean my head against your heart
I felt blue, wasted away without you
Here I came back just like you said before
How much times I wanted to bring myself to your knees
This time I burned my pride down and came to you
You can leave me if you want to
And you can kiss me
But look into my eyes and listen to me first
Trust me, I understood this feeling inside without you
I repented
Spread this hot pepper on my lips

thought i'd put the video at the end so you could read the lyrics first rather than being distracted by his stomach.

www.dailymotion.com/video/x47xu_tarkan-kuzu-kuzu_music

'hosanna in excelsis'
WTAF?

Glo
ooooo
oooooo
ooooo
oooooo
oooooo
oria

dh told me stuart and maconie did this on't radio t'other night....they picked up the thin lizzy jail break thing.

i suspect they did it first, but this thread still made me smile!

Trills

Milky Milky...?!? (particularly disturbing for those who can remember Punt & Dennis/The Mary Whitehouse Experience:)

"...I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Let's spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

They say I'm really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin' at my lump, lump.
You can look but you can't touch it,
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,
You don't want no drama,
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama
So don't pull on my hand boy,
You ain't my man, boy,
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,
And move my hump.

My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
In the back and in the front (lumps)..."

No explanation required:

"Spring was never waiting for us, girl
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages and were pressed,
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down...
Someone left the cake out in the rain
and I don't think that I can take it
'cause it took so long to bake it
and I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!"

"I've been looking so long at these pictures of you,
I can almost believe that they're real..."

Well then Robert, I really think you need to step away from the pictures and maybe stop using quite so much hairspray!

9 Million bicycles. I'd like to see your evidence, Melua.

So glad others are as nuts as me. And at bounce and rhyme, 'the baboon combing his auburn hair', sounds like an orangutan to me!

I heard Fireflies by Owl City on the radio yesterday and thought of this thread.

"I'd like to make myself believe that planet Earth turns slowly." Because actually it's whizzing round so fast that you can feel it.

"It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep." Yes, it probably is.

And it gets better.

"'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance
A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thead"

WTF is a sock hop?

It's almost on a par with Milow's You and Me (In My Pocket), which I think someone's already mentioned and which they play on the radio all the time here too.

Gloria Ah, now that finally makes sense (well, sort of). I always thought he was singing about a young girl he'd never seen and wondered how he'd managed to fall in love with her.

'I never meant to cause you any sorrow
I never meant to cause you any pain
...I only want to see you dancing in the Purple Rain'

WTF is purple rain and why is laughing in it so all important that you would cause sorrow and pain to the one you love??

Natasha Bedingfield's 'These Words' makes me want to throw the radio in the fire. I could have written those lyrics while on the toilet.

'waste bin full of paper
Clever rhymes, see you later'

Quite.

My DD's favourite bands are the Kinks (she thinks it's okay to be into inane pop so long as it's retro), the Smiths (oh god), the Beatles (um...), Pink Floyd (let's hope that she doesn't take her role models from music), Joy Division (kill me now), and Radiohead, whom I'd never heard of before she started blasting angsty experimental songs about "laughing till my head comes off". It seems to be full of slightly disturbing surrealism like that. The one that gets me, though, is half the Smiths' discography. "Why do I waste valuable time on people who don't care if I live or die" - if your life is so worthless, why is your time so valuable?!

I think a sock hop is some kind of 50s dance thing for teenagers?

(The things you learn from watching Kim Possible...)

"Santa Baby, please slip a sabre under the tree for me"

That's much better than the actual lyric. I'd be quite chuffed if Santa gave me a sabre for Christmas.

Thought of another repeat offender: Taylor Swift. Bad enough that her song about Romeo and Juliet stalked me in every public space I stepped into for about three months, but

'You were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter'

To misquote the Princess Bride:

"You keep using that [phrase]. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Taylor Swift, really now. You read to the end of Romeo and Juliet, right?

Wait, did you read The Scarlet Letter at all?

Peter Gabriel's Jeux Sans Frontier:
'Whistling tunes we're kissing baboons in the jungle'

Like to see you try, mate. They'll have your bloody face off!

Having read the wiki entry linked to above about "The pompetus of love" from Steve Miller, I misread the quote from his earlier Maurice song as episiotomy rather than epismetology - ouch...

Steve Miller The Joker

I don't know if this is right but I always thought it was "ever changing world in which we're livin'" in live and let die. Sorry if that's already been said...

A classic from Leonard Cohen

Don't go home with your hard on
It will only drive you insane
You can't shake it or break it with your Motown
You can't melt it down in the rain