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WWYD? The Saga of the Family Tuna

361 replies

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 27/09/2011 19:43

Bit longwinded but anyone who bears with me can have Wine and Thanks
DD has a toy caterpillar named Sydney Tuna, she liberated him from a car boot sale when she was just gone 2 and has adored and worshipped him ever since.
Last Christmas Santa brought his mummy, Mrs. Mabel Tuna, to live with us. She had missed Sydney since he went to seek his fortune, so had written to Santa to ask him to find Sydney, and Santa gave her a lift to our house on his sleigh. Cue rejoicing and carolling and so on....
DD now informs me that this Christmas, Mrs T and Sydney are writing jointly to Santa to find Mr. Tuna, who rejoices in the name Miguel apparently, and is in the army, fighting for the peaceloving resistance caterpillars who want to stop the slaughter between the marmite and the maple syrup factions I kid you not AND I kept a straight face wile DD told me all this
So... and if you're still with me, a thousand thanks... I can lay my hands on a caterpillar identical to Mrs. Tuna, but how can I make him look like he's been liberated from the army/prisoner of war camp/somewhere else suitable to have kept him away for a long time? I thought about him having been kidnapped by Pirates to explain where he's been all these years, and that was when DD came out with the stuff about the army... any suggestions? DD is 9 and I think this could be the last year for Santa for her, we've had some pointed questions that I have so far lied my way out of managed by the skin of my teeth, so I want to do Mr. Tuna's homecoming right...

OP posts:
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 17:58

I sometimes think it would be easier to just fit a lever on my back that, when pulled, would dispense a tenner to the tune of Happy Birthday to You... Grin
And drum roll please DD has just said that not out of the blue, she was getting Sydney Tuna ready for bed and he was telling her that the last contact Mabel had with Miguel was when he managed to phone her on a borrowed mobile phone, and his last words were "my gun is broken" and the phone was blown out of his hand and that was it... at which point DH may he rot in a pub with no beer where Leeds lose 10-0 every day to Accrington Stanley said "OOOO well how does she know he's not dead then?" Angry forcing me to mop real tears and think very fast and say that they would "just know" if he was dead, and that the phone saved his life by deflecting the bullet, and a caterpillar as well trained and alert as Mr. Tuna would never be caught by surprise like that...
DH has now left the building and may or may not be allowed back in

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 18:13

DH may have just blown his chance at beer, I feel. Miguel will not be impressed when he learns of such heartless speculation and deliberate upsetting of Sydney and Mabel.

NormanTheForeman · 29/09/2011 18:15

DH is a heartless so-and-so if you ask me! Shock Poor old Miguel Sad

It's a bit like the time I got left in the holiday cottage and my owner's Dad said "Never mind you can always buy another one Shock!" (Don't worry the cottage owner found me and returned me in a jiffy bag).

dawntigga · 29/09/2011 18:40

I think I love this thread.

ReallyHopesTheCubDoesSomethingLikeThisTiggaxx

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 18:43

Oh Norman! thank goodness the Nice Owner was there!

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MrsSnaplegs · 29/09/2011 19:03

purplepidj

Parachute advice:

Make the harness so that it resembles a rucksack one from the front - i.e. an H but make the back bit an X

Attach the cover for the parachute (like the one on your linky) to the X bit at the shoulder sections and the point were the X meets in the middle

Now attach your connector for the parachute cords (probably something like a metal D ring will suffice) to the inside of the cover "packet"

Then attach your parachute cords to this ring

The other end of the cords need to be fitted to the corners of the chute

It's probably best if this is rectangular - think of the canopies you see of the military parachutists at displays and stuff. The "work" parachutes of the paras going in on military operations are circular but this would be harder to attach the cords to

Use a lightweight material for the chute - think something thin and silky Grin

Once you have all your component parts attached then you need to fold the chute into the packet without knotting the cords and so it slips out easily in one piece. I would suggest getting one of those cheap plastic toy parachutists to see how the cords are attached to the chute - it's hard to explain on here Grin

Hope that helps - let me know if you need anymore help Grin

MrsSnaplegs · 29/09/2011 19:05

Oh sorry forgot to say the bottom of the harness needs to go through the legs like a climbing harness but I have no idea how you will do this for a caterpillar Grin

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 19:07

Am so impressed by that Mrs S Grin My granda was a para, during WWII, he dropped at Arnhem - he was a paramedic and had the first aid kit and his main task was collecting dog tags from the bodies apparently so nanna says but she also said that he hated to talk about it so nobody ever knew most of what they went through. They spent about a month under the floorboards of a dutch farmhouse kitchen though - stayed in contact with the family until the day they died. :(

OP posts:
youarekidding · 29/09/2011 19:15

You DD sounds amazing.

I love it.

Am also picturing some kind of Harry Potter type series appearing starring Catapillars in years to come.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 19:19

Has vision "Sydney Tuna and the Pom Bear of Doom" Grin

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friendofPom · 29/09/2011 19:54

Remind me again, PomBear, why you got married?

Yes, this thread must be saved for posterity.

HavePatience · 29/09/2011 19:59

Oh I want to meet your DD. Grin I don't have suggestions yet, but love this thread Smile

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 20:00

Thank you! I have some satin stuff coming from Stealth for the chute itself.

I think I'll put a d ring in the middle then each cord can have a split ring. I'll keep the cords quite short as Miguel is probably quite short of time!

MrsSnaplegs · 29/09/2011 20:00

DH has just read the whole thread and is now keen to be involved interested. He then put his head in his hands and said I can't believe I'm doing this thinks we're all mad

If you want to do a round parachute then this is his suggestion for construction.

A circular piece of material - you can buy parachute silk from the army navy stores Wink however bloomers would be a good substitute

Take 4 long pieces of your cord (again you can buy proper para cord from A/N stores it's great for gardening and stuff)

Lay them first over the circle as if you were cutting a pie into 8 pieces. Where these cross over is where you want to attach your rip cord to open the chute.

Stitch them in position making sure you have enough length for them to drop down over the sides of the chute to be then attached to your harness.

Gather them so you have four on each side - attach the ends to a small D ring and attach the 2 D rings to the inside fixing on your pack.

Then get both "sets" of the cord - one in each hand and about half way up the length (above Miguels head height when chute is deployed) put a strap that connects them but doesn't bring them right together - again make it look like an H

DH seems to think this will fit better in your pack and look more "military" Grin

He has even drawn me a picture so I know what he is talking about cos he thinks I'm stoopid

Time for Wine however we also want to see pictures/video for the Xmas day reunion.

MrsSnaplegs · 29/09/2011 20:01

Snaplegs was a Captain (Army) I'm the Lieutenant (RN) Grin

stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 20:14

I have found the satin in the large heap modest box which is my fabric stash - it is heavier than parachute silk, but hopefully also more durable. It will be on it's way to you tomorrow, Pidj.

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 20:19

Lt Snaplegs I'll pm you my address when I get home. If we're near enough perhaps I could have some rl help?

MrsSnaplegs · 29/09/2011 20:38

I'm Hampshire purplepidj

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 20:52

Spooooooooooooky, me too!! It's fate Grin

MrsSnaplegs · 29/09/2011 20:54

Grin fate indeed
We are on the coast between Southampton and Portsmouth Wink

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 21:11

I'm the other side of the Water a £15 train ride away Grin

grumpykat · 29/09/2011 21:30

No advice really, but another nomination for classics here! Loving the family tuna and hoping our dd will have such a brilliant imagination.

NormanTheForeman · 29/09/2011 21:33

I have already nominated it on the "Classics nomination" thread, but no action taken yet, I see.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 21:58

You lot do realise that every time I envision the wonder that will be Miguel's parachute, the garage roof looks a little bit more tempting and I don't fit out of the landing window so would have to push one of the DCS out there to Do The Honours.

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mamaGool · 29/09/2011 22:44

I am getting a little teary-eyed at the thought of the Tuna family reunion. Could you drag it out prolong the excitement with a video email from Miguel, filmed in secret on a smuggled phone & broadcast via his wi-fi antennae, pre Christmas, while imprisoned, saying how much he misses his family & the only thing keeping his morale is the thought of seeing his DW & DC again?

This would give Mrs T, Sydney (& your DD) reassurance that Miguel is alive & well. Appreciate you wouldn't want to ruin the surprise of his appearance, but perhaps in the cramped space of his cell it was only possible for Miguel to film, say, one of his legs? Do you know anyone who could give a convincing caterpillar accent and build you a set?

Have I gone too far..?