Bit longwinded but anyone who bears with me can have 
and 
DD has a toy caterpillar named Sydney Tuna, she liberated him from a car boot sale when she was just gone 2 and has adored and worshipped him ever since.
Last Christmas Santa brought his mummy, Mrs. Mabel Tuna, to live with us. She had missed Sydney since he went to seek his fortune, so had written to Santa to ask him to find Sydney, and Santa gave her a lift to our house on his sleigh. Cue rejoicing and carolling and so on....
DD now informs me that this Christmas, Mrs T and Sydney are writing jointly to Santa to find Mr. Tuna, who rejoices in the name Miguel apparently, and is in the army, fighting for the peaceloving resistance caterpillars who want to stop the slaughter between the marmite and the maple syrup factions I kid you not AND I kept a straight face wile DD told me all this
So... and if you're still with me, a thousand thanks... I can lay my hands on a caterpillar identical to Mrs. Tuna, but how can I make him look like he's been liberated from the army/prisoner of war camp/somewhere else suitable to have kept him away for a long time? I thought about him having been kidnapped by Pirates to explain where he's been all these years, and that was when DD came out with the stuff about the army... any suggestions? DD is 9 and I think this could be the last year for Santa for her, we've had some pointed questions that I have so far lied my way out of managed by the skin of my teeth, so I want to do Mr. Tuna's homecoming right...
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WWYD? The Saga of the Family Tuna
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 27/09/2011 19:43
Spluttering into my tea now at the thought of everyones kids having to wait for their Xmas presents whilst their mums watch a stuffed toy reunion 
brilliant!!
If you could find a cheap toy camo jacket, perhaps you could buy two and customise the jacket with a pair of extra sleeves to fit Miguel's top section? Then finish off with a military beret and moustache, accessorise with a cardboard suitcase, tied up with string and full of letters sent to him by his family while he was in POW camp (complete with redactions, obviously), and you're there.
Bandage up a couple of his legs
No other suggestions, just fascinated 
Right - update on the Miguel Tuna Escape Committee...
We have purchased Mr Tuna's freedom, by stealth, from durance vile in Toys R Us, and found one exactly the same as Mrs. T. but with longer plushy fur so he is indeed hairier and therefore manly
We found a shot gun, pump action, an "alien pistol" in tasteful blue and orange, and a hand grenade with sound effects to go in his kit. I am going to pm whoever that lovely person with the camo stuff was on page 2 - A thousand thanks to you, I shall have a go at uniform and/or kitbag with the cloth and console myself that it needn't look briliant because it's War Torn
His legs are quite small in proportion to the rest of him, so I might amputate there's a pink pair so one of those or both, could go and plan on a scar, tattoos, and a mustache and possibly eye patch.
I love it when a plan comes together and will get some pics as he gets prepared, and on Christmas day when the Happy Reunion takes place...
I was thinking scars under the bandages so when Mabel and Sydney have Nursed him Back to Health, he will have the scars to show off his Honourable Wounds, and they will get him out of going back to the army any more can't have him AWOL
Sydney is 7 so I am reliably informed (we don't count the Time Before He Live With Us, that's just Dim and Distant Past or Futile Youth ) I am sort of drawn to a jar of marmite in his rucksack/kitbag/luggage - he has been a prisoner and fighting so it would have been hard to find presents and Daddy love Marmite and eats one of those HUGE cost a fiver size jars a WEEK so it will be very gratefully received
PomBear,
Have packed you up a shirt and rank slide in fetching Desert Cbt. I've also sent you Miguel a special surprise
Will post on my way home, so with any luck you'll get it by Fri
which looks like I need a wee but I don't honest
Sydney would share the marmite happily because it's not sweeties and sweeties are what Sydney has sharing issues with with everyone I think, he's a very well brought up caterpillar.
It's the pandas you have to watch out for 
No3 son has a panda collection second only to Imelda Marcos' shoes and has been told that there will be No More Pandas, which was in fact a blatant lie because pandas are so cute but that's a whole other thread..
He's not all that teeny Cristina, he's almost five feet long, about the same height as DD!
We're trying to rearrange and evict her brother so the boys are in one room and DD has her six by six feet shoebox room to herself. So far we've bought a lot of "stuff" and looked at a lot of paint colours, but hopefully she says slightly desperately by Christmas, it will all be done and there will be room for DD and the Tuna family while the brothers, and pandas, and dinosaurs, and assorted hangers on are in the other room... if not I expect she would cheerfully cast her brothers out into the snow to make room for Mr. T and not give them another thought
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Does anyone think that bottles of San Miguel beer would be a "step too far" even for Santa? DH has finally perked at the mention of marmite, and, as I tried to explain this lot to him, suggested a case of it would be a nice gesture on the part of Mr. T to his new family... 
not convinced
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