WWYD? The Saga of the Family Tuna

[PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn]

Bit longwinded but anyone who bears with me can have and
DD has a toy caterpillar named Sydney Tuna, she liberated him from a car boot sale when she was just gone 2 and has adored and worshipped him ever since.
Last Christmas Santa brought his mummy, Mrs. Mabel Tuna, to live with us. She had missed Sydney since he went to seek his fortune, so had written to Santa to ask him to find Sydney, and Santa gave her a lift to our house on his sleigh. Cue rejoicing and carolling and so on....
DD now informs me that this Christmas, Mrs T and Sydney are writing jointly to Santa to find Mr. Tuna, who rejoices in the name Miguel apparently, and is in the army, fighting for the peaceloving resistance caterpillars who want to stop the slaughter between the marmite and the maple syrup factions I kid you not AND I kept a straight face wile DD told me all this
So... and if you're still with me, a thousand thanks... I can lay my hands on a caterpillar identical to Mrs. Tuna, but how can I make him look like he's been liberated from the army/prisoner of war camp/somewhere else suitable to have kept him away for a long time? I thought about him having been kidnapped by Pirates to explain where he's been all these years, and that was when DD came out with the stuff about the army... any suggestions? DD is 9 and I think this could be the last year for Santa for her, we've had some pointed questions that I have so far lied my way out of managed by the skin of my teeth, so I want to do Mr. Tuna's homecoming right...

Ginormous loomers could be good - did you ever watch Allo Allo? "I too shall give my last pair of silk niqueuers for France!"

oops bloomers even

I have to say, I've no advice, but I love your dd! She is a creatve genius.

How about 4 handkerchiefs sewn together?

Oh yes! I have the perfect blue flowery table cloth that would make an excellent pair of bloomers and then parachute!

What do you think, Pombear?

or the real deal?

I love this thread. So pleased that I'm not the only one who will do silly things at Christmas. Am very jealous of your imagination though!

Can I vote for the syrup as I hate marmite or does that make me an enemy now?

Do use the tablecloth purple- it will be improvised - stolen from the Commandants washing line in the dead of night a la the A Team and demonstrate Miguel's ingenuity and determination to Make It Home no matter what And it will be "toy" so the DCs won't think of actually launching anything each other with it hopefully

I think we can be either need as long as we don't actually take sides, but just state our determination to Stop the War... apparently it goes on right under our noses, in the bushes, as we pass and we never see a thing!

Best. Thread. Ever.

Excellent

What shall I use to improvise a harness???

have to agree this is brill!

dunno purple, I am in awe at your creativity here! crochet maybe? so it's woolly - perhaps Mr. T learned to crochet to while away the long boring hours in captivity and secretly made his harness while nobody was looking after passing local kindly sheep all related to Timmy since we have several Timmies in residence here donated the wool through the fence undercover of darkness...

Oh yes!! I've got a nice chunky blue which will work up in no time. Perhaps he befriended a squid who donated some ink to dye the wool for camoflage purposes against the sky?

I love this thread!!

Your DD has the most amazing imagination, you sound like the most wonderful Mum, pidj is just fantastic and stealth made me laugh so hard that I snorted my drink through my nose!

Carry on

My DD would say "But mummy" still have no idea why she talks so much posher than the rest of the family "squid ink is sepia" she knows such things and has a head full of trivia just like me, there are days when we don't know whether to laugh or cry - she was the 3 yr old who told the nursery staff "Just like Schroedinger's Cat" when they read the "My Cat Likes Boxes" picture book however - woad gentians/speedwells/bluebells could have been fortuitously growing in the camp - if we see it on Horrible Histories it must be true so woad is favourite

This is going to be the best excape since Papillon

ex? escape

Woad it is then

I never said the squid had been born on this planet, though

Perhaps a kind passing clam dredges up distant memories of Roman Senators and purple togas

ooo an Alien squid.... resists, that would be farfetched and so far the whole thing is utterly plausible at every angle!

PomBear, so glad you got it, am amazed at the Post Office, I didn't get it there until 1600, so for you to get it today is bloody amazing!

I figured SSgt Tuna needed a medal for all his daring exploits - you'll just have to work out how to get the Northern Ireland bar off it, unless of course he was awarded it by the greatful Northern Irish Marmite Marauders who valiantly joined the fight to free their opressed sympathisers? not as good at this as your dd

Cant wait to see the photos

..or he could have unravelled a sock, also stolen from the commandants washing line, leaving the commandant so distracted in searching for his missing sock that he didn't notice Miguel's daring escape attempt?

One thing worries me, though (and I suspect will worry PomBear's DD) - if Santa intervened when Miguel was halfway through his escape tunnel, WTF was Miguel doing making a parachute in the first place?

As an alternative - parachute could be red and white and donated by Santa from the sleigh emergency kit?

I've just had a thought! I have a child's size camo helmet that might fit Mr Tuna?

It's been covered in stickers at some point but I'm sure they wouldn't take much getting off. The scrubbing might even make it look a little battered? Ds has never played with it.

The parachute is part of Miguel's daring Plan A, of course - it was sheer luck that Santa stopped by at such a propitious moment.

Miguel was digging his escape tunnel towards the 300' high cliff on which the prison camp was situated. Once he reached a point approximately 12' from the top of the cliff, he was planning to base-jump down to the ocean, wrap himself in the parachute to prevent hypothermia and to camoflage himself, and use just 2 pairs of legs at a time to paddle towards the Rock of Gibralter where he knew he'd find refuge at the British Embassy.

Oh you're good, Pidj

I was about to volunteer some nice shiny white satin which I am sure I had a reason for buying other than that is was cheap for a sleigh-emergency-kit parachute. (Actually, I know what I bought it for - it was plan A for snowman costume for DD, but then I went with white fleece in the end)