Weird things your teachers did, which they would be fired for today.....

[muriel76]

Bit of a random question, but I was chatting with an old school friend the other day and we were remembering our teacher at primary school having a new bathroom fitted and she wanted to check how the workmen were doing.

The whole class was told to 'line up at the door' and off we marched down the road to her house, with teacher leading the way (small town BTW she lived near the school!) but no other adults in sight.

We then all sat in her back garden while she chatted to the plumber!

Ok this was back in the 80s but it made me think - you would never get away with this today.

Anyone else got a similar story from before the days of the national curriculum and parental consent forms etc?!

omg what a fantastic thread
primary school teach yr 5 always outrageously flirting with yr 4's teach and taking her to the pub across the road for lunchtime drinkies.
when we asked him why it had "freehouse" written on the pub's sign, he explained that "it's because they do free drinks on a friday"- only realised the sad truth of this once well into my teens (it was the early 70s!)
headmistress of same primary made us rinse our mouths out with soap and water if we were caught swearing- the smell of imperial leather still makes me gag

Primary school teacher had a wooden sword called the 'Sword of the Spirit', which he used as a cane. When he sneezed, we all had to chant, 'Sire to your good health'.

Got my own back by painting all up both my arms and those of my friends when Mr W was out of the room for a while. I don't remember being punished for it. There were 45 in my class, and even though I didn't paint everyone, he must have been out of the room for a long time.

I do remember when I was running back into school (aged 10) after having nipped to the village shop to get all our sweets (we took it in turns to risk it), and my friends who were waiting for me suddenly disappeared. It was because they had seen what I hadn't - which was that Mr W was cycling behind me. I got into trouble for that.

Painting lovely squirly patterns, like tattoos.

A girl in Year 1 in the late l seventies being strip washed in the sink in the corner of the classroom and then put in different clothing by the teacher whilst the rest of us watched got on with some work, because she wasn't looked after properly by her parents. Even then I was shocked by this.

In Year 6 I fell down a mountain and injured my knee. When my teacher caught up with me, the first thing she did when she'd established I was conscious still, was light a fag.

Apparently I threw the odd tantrum at infant school (only child, never went to preschool - oh, and I was probably just a little shit). Mrs B would apparently get the rest of the class to dance round me and laugh. I've blanked this out but my mum told me it's what happened, think she actually agreed with it!

And no ones mentioned, unless I missed it, the being forced to eat all your dinner. I had a mild dairy allergy that I outgrew (don't remember that but apparently I did) Mrs B (her again) sat forcing me to eat all my cheese pie (that I do remember) Her shoes suffered....

looking back, I don't know what the diagnosis would have been, but my English teacher would go blank for about 10 minutes at a time. what i find odd, looking back, was that none of us did anything; didn't seek help, didn't misbehave. and then he would suddenly reanimate, and carry on. He died a couple of years later. he was lovely, when conscious.

housemum Yes I remember being force fed school dinners. I got so sick of being singled out that I made myself eat all my peas and promptly yacked the whole lot straight back onto my plate. Oddly enough they never forced me to do it again.
In secondary school we had an alcoholic R.E teacher. He once drew a circle on the wall, made a pupil rest his nose on it and then ran the length of the classroom with a protracter in his hand and stabbed the pupil in his arsecheek.
Weirdly enough no one thought this was remotely odd

I've read a few more since I made my post.
I had harmless eccentric teachers, DH had some bonkers one and one who, had he stayed in England, would have either gone to prison or definitely be put on the sex offenders register.
Because he was a priest, a lot of the parents at the school didn't belive the charges that were brought against him. He was found guilty in court and the parents got up a petition.
I don't know the ins and outs, but he was shipped off by his order to work in Jerusalem.

Mine are pretty boring. Our Art teacher used to use the still life fruit to throw at whoever she choose to dislike that day.

We also had a teacher who cellotaped a boy's lips together because he was talking too much.

We had one teacher who would walk round the class with a glass of water in his hand and anyone not paying attention would have it thrown over them.

Best though was our music teacher. He would sit in his office and let us bring records in and play them. I developed quite a liking for The Sex Pistols, SLF and The Jam. My mum could never understand it because we were only allowed. Radio2 at home!

once when on a week away field trip I got a bit over zealous with the fre hot chocolate machine, my science teacher a prune looking woman grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and said "DO YOU WANT TO DIE" whilst looking in my eyes really intensely, she was and utter psychopath but to be fair, I was a pretty annoying teenager.

At primary school, we had to take it in turns at dinnertime to go to the Headmistress's house to tidy up indoors and tend her garden.

At secondary school, one female games teacher used to stand at the end of the communal shower as we came out to make sure we 'were wet all over'.

The same teacher: if we forgot our leotard for dance, we would have to do the class in our pants and our aertex games shirt. If we yawned, we would be sent to run round the school grounds (which shared a boundary with a busy road), regardless of whether we were wearing leotards or just a top and pants.

My maths teacher was the head of Maths and had his own little office for smoking in. He'd set us work, then disappear till just before the end of the lesson. (late 70s)

Oh, and there was the guy who ran camps for kids, and was widely rumoured to 'feel you up'. Several years after I left, he was convicted. Got a year in jail.

We had a ballet mistress who was apparently always very drunk by the end of an evening.
She had a bottle wrapped in a towel.
She was sacked eventually and my mother asked me why I hadn't told her that Miss X was always drunk - I had no idea, that's why.
She seemed tired and had a headache as far as I could tell.

My primary school headteacher used to hold work conversations with teachers in front of us rather than having a private chat.

She used to spell out the incriminating words. She was still doing this when she retired when I was nine. She obviously felt it would remain confidential because apart from me and a few others the literacy standards in the school were appalling.

She should have been sacked for this let alone her verbal and physical viciousness to children. I imagine working for her was no picnic for the staff, either.

She had been a missionary in some African country and was open about her belief that working class children were lucky to be in school at all and were fit only as factory-fodder.

We were taken on a school trip to the nearest city. We were 12/13. Some of the teachers wanted to join a protest march (anti Thatcher march of some kind) and some wanted to go to the pub. So we were all told we could either join the protest march or come back and meet the teachers in 4.5 hours time.

Needless to say we all dashed off to do our own thing. When I told my parents, they weren't bothered at all by this.

I'm remembering the school trips. In junior school, I recall around 70 children and one teacher going to Devon and Kent for one week a year. One teacher.
In senior school, day trips to France where 120 11 YOs would be let loose on either Calais or Boulogne. Teachers went to the pub.
Only half of the trip had passports and one child was hanging off the side of the cross channel ferry.

We had a maths teacher who really smelled - proper unwashed disgusting smell and greasy hair. After about 4/5 months she only taught with another teacher. She left at the end of the year - I think she was sacked.

Remember our technical drawing teacher used to perve over the most attractive girls.

And going away on weekend trips to the schools run down cottage with 8-10 12/13 year olds, 1 teacher and 1 6th former to help out.

Also in primary 1 teacher who when you went in had written on the blackboard your work for the day. The work all referred to things like read page 4-8 of x book and answer questions on page 10. It always ended with, if you have finished this, choose a book from the class library to read.

Then she would get her newspaper out and procedd to read for the whole day while ignoring the class. You kind of knew not to ask her any questions.

Ashtrays on all the teachers desks
Staff meetings in the pub
Brothers' teachers doing a lot of "home tutoring"
gosh life was fun in the 70's

Two sport related ones from me and a male friend.

His PE teacher used to choose football teams by assigning boys either as "superstars" or "muppets".....e.g., "superstar, muppet, muppet, superstar". When everyone had a label he announced that the superstars should go with him to play on the football pitch whilst the muppets play amongst themselves on the tarmac.

As for me, before every netball match we were sent to the library where one of our teachers (who had nothing to do with the team!) would give us our "lucky red thighs"....yes the entire team would all queue to lie over his knee and he'd give us a whack so the handprint would stay red...to ensure victory you understand.

Oooh a few when I think of it. When we finished our last GCSE exam (I was 15) our Drama teacher bought in a some fizzy wine for us to share to celebrate.

My friend and I used to go to the caretakers house (which was in the school grounds) after school and have lemonade and biscuits in the garden with him and his wife who was one of the TA's.

If we didn't join in the "scrum" during rugby (I was a girlie girl and didn't like doing it because I didn't want to ger muddy ) our PE teacher would through us into a muddy puddle to teach us not to be so vain.

One of our teachers used to fire staples from the staple gun in the direction of kids who were misbehaving

One of my teachers, after I had complained to the head of the subject about her ridiculing a friends poem in front everyone, demanded in the next English lesson "Now I would like the little bitch who went behind my back to complain to stand up" She got a ticking off for it but that was all.

I am quite surprised when I think back because I finished school in the 90's so not as long ago as you might think.

* should read THROW us in a muddy puddle **