I hadn't been at infant school for many weeks, when we were told to draw a picture of the seaside. I did the sea green and the teacher raised her voice, "WHY have you drawn grass?! I TOLD you to draw the sea! Everyone knows the sea is green."
"No miss, it's green, it only looks blue from the cliffs."
"It IS blue! Everybody knows it's blue!"#
"It's not, Miss, have you ever been to the seaside!"
"Don't you DARE be sarcastic to me!"
I was sent to the headmistress, who made me stay on a chair all day and wouldn't let me go to the toilet, so I wet myself. She then dragged me, soaked in piss, across the playground when my mother came, screeching, "Don't bring this filthy boy back until it's toilet trained!"
Two years of trouble and woe followed. There was a wet day and a boy ran over and pushed me off the path, into a deep puddle, right in front of a dinner nanny. She bawled me out, calling me a bad boy and said, "Stand on the wall."
There were some L-shaped walls, with concrete benches on the inside. You were supposed to stand in front, but she said, "Stand on the wall," so I climbed up and stood on it. She was ranting "I said stand on the wall," and pointing at the ground and I said, "That's in front of the wall. You said stand on the wall."
The headmistress came over, with more of the same. (I found out a few years later that the dinner nanny was the other boy's aunt, by the way). I argued with the headmistress, adamant that I'd done what I'd been told.
On the Sunday morning, we were woken early by someone banging on the door. It was the headmistress, who said I was never to darken her doors again. My mother started arguing with her and they ended up fighting on the lawn.
I went to the school in the next village, after that.