tell me about your oddest colleague?

[StealthPolarBear]

Past or present.
We used to have one who would pick his ears and then make the coffee, it used to have bits floating in the top.

MarinaIvy. "She seemed to think it was her right to do what she liked and the cleaners' - ahem - duties to clean it up"

That's seriously weird, isn't it? I mean it sounds as though your friend's PSer had quite logically thought it out (well, apart from the fact it's a disgusting thing to do and a disgusting thing for other people to see/clear up). But who goes into the loo at work and thinks "hmm, now where am I going to 'deposit' today?"

I bet she didn't do it in her own home.

Ive got a few. Firstly the bloke who was on his third time lucky after sufferring from throat cancer, still on 50 a day! He stunk of cigs too. He'd smoke them that quick that when he came back in the office we might aswell have shared it with him. Anyway, like I say he stunk and it wasn't just cigarette smell. He was foul. He'd live down south but work up north, he told us he stayed in a hotel but we saw him regularly sleeping in his car. I was at a Westlife concert once (yes Westlife) front row and swooning, when a picture message came through. One of the lads had found his tooth, an actual tooth, on the office floor, took a picture and sent it to me. Put me right off my concert. On his night shifts he'd take the opportunity to cut his toe nails and leave the clippings all over the floor. This guy was seriously revolting. Oh yeah and he was crusty. I know its a medical thing but he constantly itched and flaked EVERYWHERE!
Another in the same office would pick his nose and ears and just taste to see if everything was ok. He would come in with his porridge spilt down his jumper every day. When he sneezed he wouldn't cover his mouth/nose because "it wasn't germs it was hayfever". He would brew up and hand you the cuppa, half way though something would hit your lips. It was the teabag! On the rare occasion he removed the teabag he would leave it in the sink even though the bin was closer?? I can't do this guys wierdness justice I don't think, its something you have to see. Loveable but truly odd. Oh and he has the same holiday to Thailand every January and by paying the "ladies" he was contributing to their familys well being and of course the economy. Disgusting.

Just remembered another. Went on a work trip overseas for 4 or 5 days with 3 colleagues. One had serious gum disease. He told us he had been to the dentist but his gums would just bleed (so he had blood pouring down his front top teeth) and he couldn't tell. Myself and another colleague used to fight to sit next to him at meals (rather than opposite) so we couldn't see. We also often had to tell him (subtly) in front of clients he was bleeding. In fact the words most echoed on the trip were 'xxxx you're bleeding'. Urghh.

Also there was a lot of driving (in a car) involved so we used to constantly pass round smints to try and get him to have one. I hope he got it sorted.

I am rubbish at doing links but I really want to link this thread to another in AIBU asking "why on earth do some women want to be SAHM's?".

After reading all this I want to resign on Monday and NEVER NEVER NEVER work again!

:o good point

I got a lift home from one colleague after a night shift. Another car started tail-gating and flashing their headlights, swerved around behind us, tried to overtake on the shoulder of the road. A bit scary, they were being really dangerous.

When we stopped at a red light and they were behind us, still flashing their lights (btw, colleague had been driving normally the whole time), colleague popped the boot, got out of the car. I turned around to see what she was going to do and she had a baseball bat! God knows why she had it. She smashed their windscreen, put the bat back in the boot, got in the car and said "that should stop them bothering us."

I didn't know what to say, so we didn't ever mention it again. She was v normal, we became friends, went out to the pub etc. Never saw her act in anyway similar ever again. And never found out why she kept a baseball bat in her boot.

@Fru@ - Yeah, that outrageous sense of entitlement is an issue all of its own! As to whether she did it at home, who knows, but the original "phantom shitter" concept reminded me of a previous MN string starting with somebody AIBUing to expect cleaners, at £14/hr, to not have a "no toilets" policy.

I have another colleague - from ages ago. He was a columnist in a weekly newspaper, all kinds of issues: thought he was god's gift, constantly sexually harrassing, frequently drunk. When he eventually got sacked, he stormed about the place proclaiming that the [ethnic] community [that the paper served] will be rocked to its foundations!". (It wasn't, and it took him a while to get another job at a lesser paper).

OK, still not odder than most of the people I've read about here, but I'm rather proud of this next bit: one day he was showing off how much money he had in his wallet. Fortunately he took a while going around the room so I had time to think up a stinger.

"Look, I'll bet you never saw 1,500 in a wallet before".
"No, Mike, not in somebody else's wallet".

Not nearly as odd as some on here, but one (IT of course) guy would buy wine gums from the vending machine every day and chart the colours in excel to see if he could prove black ones weren't as prevalent

You'd think in publishing you'd meet loads of weirdos but alas nothing like as good as some of these. But in terms of PSers, I did work with a women (who I'm pretty sure was an alcoholic, she smelled of booze most mornings) who would not touch anything in the bathroom as she would 'get germs from everyone else".

This meant she would piss all over the seat as she wouldn't sit down - but not wipe it up, shit (mostly) in the loo but not flush or clean it, put tampax down but again not flush it, and after washing her hands she'd leave the (non-automatic) taps on so they would run until next person came in. Her poos stank of alcohol as well, just vile. She was totally unapologetic about her behaviour and expected us lot, who were 'less sensitive to germs' to clear up after her.

She was also one of the most senior members of the company, single and in her 50s, and at the office party she got roaringly drunk and hit on one of the junior sales team. He was a big bluff rugby guy (but still only 22 or so) and was horrified as she physically attacked him - grabbing at his nipples, zip, sitting on his lap, rubbing up against him like a cat on heat. It was serious sexual harrassment but because he was a guy no-one did anything about it.

To be fair to the CEO, her days were marked after that.