Thickos on TripAdvisor

[bupcakesandcunting]

I usually check reviews about places on Trip Advisor before booking a holiday. I've been having a snoop round this morning for a holiday and went onto Trip Advisor to read the reviews and honestly, some of them look like they've been written by a bear mashing his paws into the keyboard and hitting "send"...

AIBU to disregard reviews by people who moan that "nobode understand ENGLISH" "no chips/salad just greek food" "wayter rude" or should I be giving them the same attention as the others?

Is it only me that is upset that the Wooky is a place!

"When you step off the bus, it is like being mauled by a giant mound of sick. You can taste it as you walk past people queing up for Planet Dance. You expect something at least, a little decent looking at the website, no no no... when you get into the place, the feeling is the same as it would be if you accidentally shot a dog and ended it's life."

Thank you, Portofino, I have just read that out to my husband at a speed of one word every 3 seconds in a strangled voice with tears pouring out of my tiny, screwy eyes. I don't know if I will make it past page 3 of this thread.

You are most welcome. I have already booked!

I have actually stayed in the suicide hotel, albeit many many years ago. TBH I can sympathise with the poor man who jumped.

There are two employees that dress up like flinstones and smash clubs off the ground next to sleeping guests as a joke. People were getting quite upset with this.

really?

I am expecting new found respect from my dh when I am able to give him top quality prissie info.
I would like to think that at a 5star hotel the prostitutes have nice teak garden chairs.
Those white plastic ones never look terribly sturdy.

And when he asks me where I got my info I will be able to tell him" fellatio"

I can't see how that hotel makes money though if everyone gets free hard core porn. It must be a loss leader.

Prissie isn't a very good alternative to prozzie.

"girls, keep hold of your partners too!!! you get these girls who are basically tarts and are on a mission to sleep with men who are on holiday with there partners, bizzarre i know!! but for some reason they think its a way of life because they are basically little tarts who try to split ppl up, some of them succeed others dont!! be carefull!! i know from personal experience!! but no it didnt succeed lol!!! anything you want to know just ask!! theres absoloutley loads of things to tell but my fingers are hurting off typing!! oh gotta try the best restaurant in rhodes its on your way from the apartments to the town and begins with an A!! its really nice there. dont go to roumelii's and keep away from the man at the door because hes a slimeball and tries to flirt to get you in!!

so any other questions just ask!!!

holiday was really good, could have been a bit closer to the beach but the pool area was nice to sit around so im not complaining!!

no germans so you can easily get sun loungers during day!!! gotta try pina colada mmmm really nice!!"

All those exclamation marks!!!

To return to CallyMary of yore, I have a very sweet friend who hovers at the lower end of the bright spectrum, who told me of her puzzlement on Greek holiday.

Every morning, she said, I'd come down for breakfast and everyone would offer squid, I would always smile and shake my head and pull a yuk face and then towards the end of the fortnight when I'd got in the spirit, I thought oh fuck it, I'll go native and have the damn squid breakfast.

I just couldn't tell her.

I don't get it, Hully [fick]!

The ! Was for soupy btw!

Fuck it. Have another one.
!

Sorry, Jenai.

The Greek for good morning is Kalimera. The word for squid is Calimari.

Beaver has just made me cry.

This whole thread is fab.

I will read it when dd has buggered off to bed. David tenant is on the the Telly and it is too exciting for words. But now there is eye gunk ....

Arrggh...

Are you getting these from this website tripadvisor.typepad.com/?

Will be spending some time this evening having a laugh over these

Try working in a travel agent I hear it all !! You never told me it would rain, my apartment never had a washing machine. The best one was a woman the other week she came in with her dog and this is how the conversation went.

Her: Want to go on holiday duck do you know about doggy passports

Me: No its not something I deal with but I can try anf dind out which airlines do carry pets

Her: Can you not sort my dogs paasport out then

Me: No I cant and I seem to be struggling to find a carrier who will take you and your dog abroad

Her: Can I see ya boss duck

Me: Yes of course

My boss: Hi whats the problem

Her: This girl im 32 cant sort me and the dog out and I promised him a holiday

Me: Promised the dog a holiday wtf ? Nips to sop on way home to by a bottle of

Goodness maybe I shouldnt have had that glass of wine whilst I was typing excuse spelling.

Thank you, Hully.

She promised the DOG a holiday????

"You would get cleaner rooms , better meals and friendlier staff at auschwitz"

Really? Really?

You've got to love a 'good' holiday review!!

My dh set up HolidayWatchdog and ran it for 4 years before we sold it and we had such fun reading through what people thought were 'helpful' reviews. We did have a very strict policy on what was allowed on the site so as not to get ourselves into legal trouble.

HW had a few rules for what got posted.. Had to be in lower case as loads of reviews came through in caps as if to try and get their point across better. Text speak was not allowed, nor were 1 line reviews as they are not helpful!

Reading through some of your posts have really made me chuckle :)

The dog !!!!

April, that is exciting! Please tell me you are now DOT.COM millionaires.....or at least that you don't have to go to any of these shitty places on your holibobs

MrsChemist - that actually got an out loud gasp. Damn you for waking my sleeping son

Portofino..... I couldnt possibly say :o