to think this couple are bonkers

[SlightlyJaded]

So we have got quite friendly with this couple through school. They are both professionals lawyer/banker and seem to have shedloads of money and live in a beautiful house. But I have always thought they are a bit odd - a few strange random comments and slightly bonkers opinions on things, but I don't mind strange and DD gets on well with their DD.

They invited us round to supper at their big posh house the other night and DH and I made a real effort to 'scrub up'. Paid for babysitter, dolled ourselves up and spent more on wine than we ever would at home.

We get there - all fine and lovely. Glass of wine and chit chat - slightly odd topics (sex life of Nomads in Papa New Guinea and a less interesting 15 minutes on Chinese banking but still...), then we sit down at quite a formal dinner table and hostess serves starter of.... tinned soup. We know it's tinned because it's Heniz tomato soup and there are 3 empty cans in bin... That's ok, we like soup and chat away. Hostess starts laughing uncontrollably at something. Host doesn't think this is odd but sits back and wait for her to stop. We smile and ask what's so funny but she just carries on laughing. Then she stops and carries on talking as though nothing had happened. She then makes a bit to-do and hoo-ha about serving up main course of.... macaroni cheese. Not even baked in the oven, just macaroni stirred into a cheese sauce - like I make for DCs. And that's it.

DH and I eat it and try not to catch each others eyes. Nothing is said about the choice of main course other than 'I hope you like macaroni cheese' so I start to wonder if my expectations were too high? And then we get pudding which is a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream out of the tub.

As we leave, host pinches my bottom in full view of everyone and says 'that was fun' and hostess laughs her head off and says 'pinch punch first day of the month' - even though it isn't. And that's it.

DH says they are a bit quirky and to stop going on about it but I think they are mentalists. I'm right aren't I?

[Horton]

They sounds really really odd. I agree that going round for dinner isn't really about the food, although it is very nice to get something delicious served to you - and in a way, a good meal that you haven't slaved over is part of the pleasure. But macaroni cheese and tinned soup is like offering ham sandwiches or something. Completely weird.

I must admit the swinger thing crossed my mind too. The hysterics would have made me completely paranoid, as well!

[ToniSoprano]

Perhaps they'd had a cooking disaster before you all arrived and were sharing a private joke with each other about the emergency food they ended up serving? Hence the hysterical laughter? Or maybe they had an elaborate meal planned but ended up having a few drinks and a pre-dinner bonk and forgetting to marinade the lamb or whatever?

Tinned soup and macaroni are so inconsistent with the silverware etc.

[FallingWithStyle]

Are you all on a massive comedown?

[Horton]

Gah, they sound, not sounds.

[StealthPolarBear]

ooh I know, invite them round and have cheese spead sandwiches with the crusts cut off, cocktail sausages, party rings and hula hoops

[Horton]

If they'd planned something better and it all went wrong, wouldn't they apologise, though? I know I would.

[MissAnneElk]

The laughing would have made me paranoid too although I would have had to ask what was so funny. How do you think they perceive you and DH?
I wouldn't return the invite if I were you.
On a positive note at least they didn't serve Heinz canned macaroni cheese

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

But did they live near Danbury? There is a village closeby which is well known as a swingers paradise. DH was invited to some friends house for dinner. I couldn't go. He took the dog.

[drivingmissdaisy]

My first thought was I think they might be swingers!

[Kewcumber]

"Perhaps I shall serve Chicken Nuggets followed by individual yoghurts..."

Nooooo - fingers fingers and baked beans followed by Frubes (preferably Toy STory ones - they can choose their favorite character).

Or just don;t invite tehm back - whatever the explanation, can you really be arsed?

[piprabbit]

Ooh Kreecher - do say where, it's not where I live is it?

[Elemental]

I want to know about their other bonkers opinions.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

Pip how do I know where you live? Are you a swinger by any chance.
It turned out the couple DH went to dinner with were. They were very disappointed to meet Pod rather than me.

[Antidote]

OK, I read this earlier and thought either 'complete stoner food, what drugs have they bee on?' OR an elaborate piss-take.

Glad I'm not alone!

[bnm]

Just be glad you hadn't invited them to yours first otherwise it could have been harder to get them and their odd ways out than you leaving when ready!

[piprabbit]

I can barely manage a wiggle these days, let alone anything as energetic as a swing.

I would have liked to see the look of horror (or not) when your DH arrived with a canine partner.

[SylvanianFamily]

I think they'd rowed just before you'd got there...

" I asked you to get the groceries for dinner! "

" I forgot. I was busy. I have a job, you know"

" I was relying on you. No fucking food in the whole house."

" For fuck's sake, these are people from school, not the bloody queen. They've come to talk to us. Just feed them whatever the kids had"

"Tomato soup, macaroni cheese and ice cream?!? are you out of your mind"

" What,s wrong with it? Everyone likes macaroni cheese? Jeez, I didn't realise I'd married fucking Nigella Lawson"

" OK, fine, fine, they,re here now. Just be nice please. Our Dds are friends, I can't avoid these people"

" Hellloooooeee. how delightful to see you. ha ha . ha ha. If i can just take your coats ( ummmmmmm.... ). yes, here is the entree. Consome Tomate a la mode. Ha ha . Hahhahahhhhaaaaaaahahahaha.. Ha ha, ( breathe deeply)"

............

"( you've got an arse like Nigella too, sweetheart)"

" ( fuck off, or next time you pull a stunt like that on me, I,ll be serving your testicles on platter)"

" Goodbyeeee"

"do you think they noticed anything?"

[StealthPolarBear]

SF you are right and that is hilarious!

[OrmRenewed]

Re the hysterical laughter, they were just stoned?

[HuwEdwards]

What a hilarious, if bonkers night!

[cestlavie]

SF that is very funny, I imagining something slightly different...

"Think we've got time for spliff before they get here?"

"Yes, sure, honey, let me quickly skin up"

(Few mins later)

"Fuck, this dope's a bit strong"

"Wrfffglge?"

"Bollocks, I think I'm caned off my chops"

"Schnurgleflurp?"

"Shit, that couple are coming round in a second. Pick yourself up off the floor honey. Man, I really want some fucking macaroni cheese..."

[Sidge]

They are either on drugs or it's just like SylvanianFamily said

I served cheesy beef to friends once. It wasn't supposed to be cheesy beef. We drank lots of wine to compensate.

[OrmRenewed]

In fact you were lucky you didn't get toast and marmite.