Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Original poster

to think this couple are bonkers

754 replies

SlightlyJaded · 07/10/2010 10:40

So we have got quite friendly with this couple through school. They are both professionals lawyer/banker and seem to have shedloads of money and live in a beautiful house. But I have always thought they are a bit odd - a few strange random comments and slightly bonkers opinions on things, but I don't mind strange and DD gets on well with their DD.

They invited us round to supper at their big posh house the other night and DH and I made a real effort to 'scrub up'. Paid for babysitter, dolled ourselves up and spent more on wine than we ever would at home.

We get there - all fine and lovely. Glass of wine and chit chat - slightly odd topics (sex life of Nomads in Papa New Guinea and a less interesting 15 minutes on Chinese banking but still...), then we sit down at quite a formal dinner table and hostess serves starter of.... tinned soup. We know it's tinned because it's Heniz tomato soup and there are 3 empty cans in bin... That's ok, we like soup and chat away. Hostess starts laughing uncontrollably at something. Host doesn't think this is odd but sits back and wait for her to stop. We smile and ask what's so funny but she just carries on laughing. Then she stops and carries on talking as though nothing had happened. She then makes a bit to-do and hoo-ha about serving up main course of.... macaroni cheese. Not even baked in the oven, just macaroni stirred into a cheese sauce - like I make for DCs. And that's it.

DH and I eat it and try not to catch each others eyes. Nothing is said about the choice of main course other than 'I hope you like macaroni cheese' so I start to wonder if my expectations were too high? And then we get pudding which is a scoop of Neapolitan ice cream out of the tub.

As we leave, host pinches my bottom in full view of everyone and says 'that was fun' and hostess laughs her head off and says 'pinch punch first day of the month' - even though it isn't. And that's it.

DH says they are a bit quirky and to stop going on about it but I think they are mentalists. I'm right aren't I?

OP posts:
Marchpane · 07/10/2010 19:28

Ooh you could give them a Haribo each between the starter & main course as an amuse bouche Grin

OP I will need to know your menu for when you have them over. Great thread!

Original poster
SlightlyJaded · 07/10/2010 19:34

march have posted potential menu - refer back. Feedback welcome :)

OP posts:
Namechangingwuss · 07/10/2010 19:46

They sound like a pair of insane swingers!

BobbieSox · 07/10/2010 19:47

If you're that side of London I know ( not from experience) there's a well known set of swingers very near a particular tube station on the district and piccadilly line...could it be them?

I think the couple do sound a bit worrying but maybe as others have said they're too posh to know how to cook?

CardBoardFox · 07/10/2010 19:58

Not sure if this has been suggested already, but I reckon it was a set-up. They THOUGHT you might be MNetters but didn't want to ask. So, they set up a bizarre dinner party, knowing that it would be a typical AIBU thread, and are now sitting back reading this thread saying 'ha! we were right!'.

You, of course, HAVE to invite them back. Stater - nice ham
Main - Greggs sausage rolls
Pud - grapes - and then you can start the 'eating them before the check-out conversation'

Feign any knowledge of terms like fanjo and norks (which sound like they might be hot topics), and if asked outright, say you have NO idea what Mumsnet is... Grin

Tippychoocks · 07/10/2010 20:00

Did they owe you hospitality? Are they the kind of sticklers who would ask you so that they didn't owe you but couldn't be bothered to do a proper party? Or indeed meal?

They sound like fun though. Invite them for Christmas drinks: a fruit shoot and a share in a packet of Wotsits.

teaandcakeplease · 07/10/2010 20:04

I thought the same minipie as well. I was very relieved as I read the thread to realise I wasn't the only one. I liked Borntofolks suggestions too.

This thread has given me such a giggle tonight, I needed it Smile Especially Cestlavie and SF's posts.

You must report back after the next meal.

chandellina · 07/10/2010 20:08

amazing. frankly i'd be offended if that was the menu and really annoyed with them for messing with my mind.

DurhamDurham · 07/10/2010 20:11

It sounds like fun, can I come to the next one? I love Heinz soup and Neopolitan icecream! Grin

GeekOfTheWeek · 07/10/2010 20:14

Are they the swingers off Alan Partridge?

ShirleyKnot · 07/10/2010 20:19

Was there any...black pudding lurking around?

Kewcumber · 07/10/2010 20:29

Isleworth is the wife swapping capital of Europe - anywhere near you?

Marchpane · 07/10/2010 21:58

Isleworth you say? That's not very far from me. I bet they all go to Waitrose. I'll try to spot them for fun. Perhaps by their shopping:

Bottle of Chablis, pea shoots, artisan loaf, pain au chocolat, nice ham, stuffed olives, French brie, probiotic yoghurts, small bar of Green & Blacks chocolate, fair trade bananas... gigantic tube of lube and a cock ring

DunderMifflin · 07/10/2010 22:18

this thread is incredibly funny - my dh and i are pissing ourselves!

bookmarking for any updates (my life is sad and doesn't have any swingers or even tinned soup going for it!)

Maria2007loveshersleep · 07/10/2010 22:22

Hilarious.

I would hate the giggling thing though. Would drive me mad not knowing why they're giggling.

GrendelsMum · 07/10/2010 22:27

No, I think SF is right and that they'd had a massive row before you arrived, hence the weird conversation, no food and giggling.

Or they'd forgotten the date, and you arrived, and they had to feed you what was in the house.

OR, my elderly aunt and uncle are rather posh and very well off, and tomato soup, macaroni cheese and ice cream is certainly what my uncle would serve up at a weekday supper for friends. (Look, you should count yourself lucky you didn't get sardines on toast, which we've been served repeatedly.)

piprabbit · 07/10/2010 22:35

Or, they had a last minute quickie before you arrived. Planned food was burnt, wife left feeling giggly and teenager-ish, husband full of the joys of spring (hence bum pinching).

readywithwellies · 07/10/2010 22:45

Do they have a pampass grass in the front garden?

beachyhead · 07/10/2010 23:02

I think they thought, I quite like that couple, shall we invite them round? Then they just gave you food that they like.

You had a nice time ( bar the bottom pinching, which you should have shouted about at the time)....

I think they are just a bit inept (sp!) and if you like them, have them back, maybe with some other liberal friends, who might click with them.....might be the start of a lifelong relationship.

Original poster
SlightlyJaded · 07/10/2010 23:17

Actually kew not Isleworth but, based on an educated guess... Not more than a mile or so from you - assuming you are of the botanical garden variety...

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 07/10/2010 23:26

indeed... ooh I might know them... Grin

DiscoSquish · 07/10/2010 23:54

They sound bizarre. Kreecher do you mean LB, WM/W or B?

FunkyCherry · 08/10/2010 00:14

PMSL at this thread!!!

Maybe they thought you were up for swinging, but when you turned up realised you actually wanted food and had to see what they had in the cupboard.

Bumperlicious · 08/10/2010 00:40

This is going to become one of those 'i wonder what happened with...' threads isn't it? Grin

Op you have to have them over to yours & report back on further weirdness.

Ryuk · 08/10/2010 02:26

Am I the only one who is surprised that Kreecher's DP actually took a dog to a dinner invite?

It had me imagining an entire alternate series of events resulting in an AIBU thread about the hosts saying they're allergic/scared of/just don't like dogs, DP being turned away, and a seven-page discussion over whether Kreecher should be offended or not. :)