EPIC POST ALERT
When DS was born with Complex Special Needs, he was whisked out of my arms and rushed off to SCBU, I screamed at DH to go with him and to not leave his side whilst I was left to get cleaned up, showered, dressed alone and crying, confused and upset as to what had just happened.
I found all of my new baby's outfit and belongings that I had laid out, and my own personal possessions had been stuffed into a bag, and put in a side room on my return to the maternity ward after showering.
All I knew was that my baby had serious complications (non of which we knew about pre birth) and was in SCBU, hopefully with DH. I sat on my bed, crying and shaking until a Midwife came to get me and wheel me round to SCBU. I couldn't stay, I couldn't bear seeing him. But I forced myself to, with DH and refused to leave his side, day in day out, unless expressing BM for him.
The first time the Bounty rep came (a day after I had given birth I think) she asked where my baby was. Cheery as you like. I told her. She said of, what a 'shame', and that she'd come back at a 'more convenient time'........
She came back around lunch that day and left a pack on my bed. I was of course in SCBU with Nemo (our DS's Nick Name, our little fighter, our survivor) until gone midnight every day, regardless of the fact that I'm disabled and was on crutches, needed to rest etc as you do! I refused to leave his incubator. Refused.
Anyway, I was ordered (in the nicest possible way) to go and eat something once DH arrived after taking DD to school. I did only to find the said rep waiting, hovering, outside of my room. The truly wonderful midwives had left me some tea and toast because I'd missed the breakfast run as per but I couldn't carry anything, being on crutches......
I was starving, sleep deprived, in pain and emotionally drained and I arrived to a sales pitch like no other. This woman gave Everest Windows a run for their money!
I kindly explained my situation which seemed to fuel her desire to get me to agree to have photo's even more..... almost 'just in case the worst should happen....' I could hear the tone in her voice. She was politely shown the door.
If they are going to be allowed onto Maternity wards, then they should be TOLD about mothers like me, or who have lost their babies. They should be TOLD to leave us alone and maybe just to leave the info packs with contact details so that WE can decide for ourselves in time, if we want photos taken.
I was appalled and so very upset. The packs were no good to us either as Nemo was tube fed (and still is) from the start.
The packs are so boring and generic.
Why not have a SN pack? With helpful contact numbers in? Why not have specialist Bounty Reps, if they insist on being there, who can put parents in touch with others who are like them?
During Nemo's stay, he was eventually moved into a room with another little boy who also had 3 of the conditions that he did. We learnt so much from his parents, we felt so relieved to no longer just be two people who were given 'that look' as we went past the normal maternity ward.
I also didn't read the small print (where it existed) which told the new parents that all of your details would be passed onto various companies!
I know that the wards are chaos and so very busy but surely, someone could have informed the Reps that in our case, maybe it would have been better to let us contact them should we want to have pictures taken?
Sorry for the epic post, I think that they should be banned from the wards and maybe have a room that they can use for parents to go and see them in? Or be in the communal room that's on most wards but under strict instruction NOT to approach mums/dads? Times and dates that they'll be someone there for those who DO want Bounty photos etc?