Mumsnet campaign on rape and sexual violence

[KatieMumsnet]

Hiya

Following on from lots of discussions and requests for a MN campaign on this - we've been putting a bit of thought into how we can help and are planning on making getting a campaign going in mid March. Before this we'll get on with a survey, asking for Mumsnetters experiences, and working on a press release to raise the profile of the campaign - and hopefully tackling a few myths.

KateMumsnet's been collaborating with Rape Crisis and the End Violence Against Women coalition, and we're hoping to host a webchat during the course of the week.

Before we start finalising detail though, we really need your help.

1. The title of the campaign - 'I believe you' - I know was really strongly supported on here (and is popular with us too). But after a bit of discussion in the office, we were wondering if 'we believe you' is more effective - showing the collective effect of our campaign, and emphasising that we're not just lone voices supporting individuals? It would be good to have your thoughts.

1. Dispelling myths. What are the 5 most important myths to dispel (rape is usually by a stranger, victims are usually to blame) - suggestions really appreciated - we'll then source the best facts to prove them wrong.

And as ever - do let us know any other thoughts.

MNHQ

Is there no Gloria Steinem of the UK?

Scratch that -- does it even have to be a feminist activist? Is there no prominent and popular woman who could be enticed to speak to this?

Actually I followed WUS for quite a while before I knew GS was involved. They did a great job with social media promotion.

Most important myth to break is far and away the "women making false allegations in order to ruin blokes' lives" one. Ridiculous and really damaging for women who are (in the majority) making genuine allegations.

I'm sure Baroness Stern, Vera Baird and Helena Kennedy would support this (just a few names off top of my head, there must be many more)

I also would like 'grades' of rape addressed in this campaign. I also like the We believe you/I believe you slogan and think there are some other great ideas on this thread.

I know my survey on here (it's ChristinedePizan under a new name) wasn't particularly scientific but in that, 1 in 4 women who responded said they'd been raped.

I suspect, from the number of people on that thread and in the survey who said that they hadn't considered what had happened to them in the past to be an assault, but thinking about it in the context of the thread, it most definitely was, that if you add in sexual assault, the numbers will be a lot higher.

(sorry, the grammar in that last para is hideous but I hope you get the gist)

And I'm very pleased that this is happening :) Thanks MNHQ. It's a cause very close to my heart.

I bet julie bindel and cath elliot and bidisha would support this (feminist writers; all have feqtured in the gaurdian)

I love this: "One out of four women in the UK is raped or sexually assaulted. We believe them. We vote."

What are the 5 most important myths to dispel

My thoughts:

That a victims sexual history is relevant
That a victims clothing is related to risk (and in particular the highly offensive 'analogy' that is always made with theft eg it's like walking around a bad part of town with money hanging out your pocket)
That the rate of false allegations is high
That there are degrees of rape
That if a woman has been drinking she only has herself to blame

Thank you Mumsnet and everyone involved.

I will support this - let me know what I can do

Yay!

chibi "I bet julie bindel and cath elliot and bidisha would support this"

I bet we would too :)

It looks like it's going to be a great campaign. It's enraging that it's necessary but sadly it is. Oh, and I think "We believe you" is a great title. Thanks to everyone at Mumsnet for their work on this. x

That's brilliant.

'We believe you. We vote.' Excellent.

Double yay!

Wow! That's amazing, thank you Julie and Cath.

i wish i could take credit, but they did not hear about it from me! they are ace at getting in on grassroots activism though, so i was pretty sure they'd say yes :)

In line with the 'we vote' approach -- does anyone do a report card/grade sheet on MPs and their positions/votes on sexual violence or similar issues?

I'm thinking of what a number of NGOs do in the US, for example the ACLU:

action.aclu.org/site/VoteCenter?page=voteList&cr=1

It's one thing to remind politicians 'we vote' -- it's even better if we could say 'we have an easy way to show everyone how wrong you are on this issue'. Accountability terrifies a lot of politicians

1-5 That there is anything, at all, ever, that is mitigating.

I think this is a brilliant idea, just a shame there is such a need of it.
One thing that has not been mentioned is female on female assault. I can't be the only person to have experienced that?

Marking place.

I am right in the middle of a move and cannot spend much time on this but would like to be involved - will definitely do some blog posts about it.

Would the BN be able to coordinate a blogger campaign like we did for the miscarriage campaign? Am happy to help organise that but won't the till late next week when we are in Scotland.

The linked up blogs was successful last time.

PM me if there is interest cause I'm not on MN much ATM.

What consent is and is not. Sick of the idea that there is this grey area which allows men to do what they want. I remember an awful article in Cosmo all about what they called 'not quite rape' which detailed lots of rape stories describing them as not quite a proper rape. Grim.

agree on consent. this pretending that maybe he didn't realise (does he usually have sex with catatonic frozen women who are totally shut down? is crazily clutched to by some people who don't want to face that yes normal seeming men do rape, not just demented pscyhopaths in dark alleys on taggert.