Desperatley needing a night out

[jambo1707]

My God

how hard is it too try and arrange a night out with dh.

Today took ds(3years) and dt(14 months) to our nieces birthday party, the dj was playing adult night out music( you know the kind that sounds soooo cheesey but after a few vodies everyones jigging happily) and i thought we deserve a break and should maybe go out.

arranged to go with sisterinlaw and hubby but their babysitter pulled out.

Dh and I are having a bad time at present and we both thought a night out would be good, but since having the boys we have both kinda isolated ourselves from our old friends and only go round a selected few, now no-one to go with and dont want to go out in a couple only, more people would break the silence at help relax us both.

I am a bit worried this could be the end of the marriage and am feeling very low, sometimes wishing it was all to end, just about left the home two weeks past but my close friends(2 i allow into my life) gave me a bit of a shake

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry - can't help, but I know how you are feeling. I have always been quite smug about what a happy marriage and great life I had etc and then BAM since the twins were born the pressure has made everything unravel. We have lost contact with nearly all friends as they have no concept of what our new life is like. We don't even try and go out in the evenings and day trips en famille are so bloody stressful that it is barely worth it.

At least once a day I think that I just cannot do this anymore. This is no kind of a life to be living with no sleep, no time, no friends, no fun and no money. And then the guilt kicks in because of course I should just be so happy for my babies. But it is too hard. I dread how things are going to work out in the future.

Tinacolada i am almost glad i am not alone.

I feel so low at this time and finding i am unable to cope.

DS ( 3yrs) has told me that mummy is a crabbit bitch, i knew thing s were bad but when a child tells you it's heart breaking.

they don't understand why mummy is like this, have to go to docs as i no longer feel in control.

People are often quick to judge but if they were like this how exactly would they cope.

don't get me wrong i love my ds's deeply but just feel they should have more from mum

where are you girlies based?

OMG Jambo - you must have felt like shite when ds said that. Luckily my babies are too young to tell me what a cow I am being sometimes, but I sometimes snap at them, and of course they don't really understand and then I look at their little faces and feel like the worst mum in the world - and that has to be the most awful label in the world, right?

And it's so ridiculous because all I want to do is be a good mum and make them happy, and I just seem completely incapable.

I'll be interested to see what your doctor says - is he / she reasonable? When the twins were first born I had lots of healthcare professionals telling me how marvellously I was coping, when clearly I wasn't and on the few occasions I started to explain that actually I was barely holding it together I was just told that it would get easier. Great.

Tina, Jam, I'm a twin mum too. It is a lot of work and people don't really appreciate that. Where are you based? Do you have any access to twin groups etc?

HI

I am based in livingston west lothian

There used to be twins club around but it closed before I had mine.

have you tried looking here for one?

Yes been on their quite a few times

fair enough. If you'd been in London and close enough I would have offered to babysit for you occasionally. I know how much head space and adult time means. Sorry I'm at the wrong end of the country.

Thanx for the offer marslady

I wish i was near your area too, even for a general chat

If you CAT me then I'm happy to give you my number and you can give me a call. It's not easy with twins. I do love it, but I'm blimming exhausted. DT1 hasn't been well for the last few days. Temp sky high, vomiting etc. DH and I have hardly had any sleep. I've been covered in puke so often that even if I had the time for a bath the smell wouldn't wash away. Yeurckkkk!!!!!!!!!!

CAT is simply Contact another talker at the top of the screen.

Hi

It's kicking me of each time I try to enter details, Will try again though would love too chat

My dt2 has been v poorly alos, he stopped breathing about 6 weeks ago thankfully ok, docs thought he may have pnemonia but xray should all ok excep swollen valves in chest and fluid on left lung, still not fully recovered now he's going backwards again, HOSPITAL HERE WE COME AGAIN!!!!!!!

just bathing twins will try to CAT you later

Thanks have you found the phone yet?

Sorry to crash and not be any help on the relationship/twins front but I just wanted to say in terms of getting hold of reliable/reasonably priced babysitters I recommend finding out the number of the nearest college that offers childcare courses and asking them to put you in touch. The advantage is they're being trained properly! HTH so you can get a night off!

Thanx holly
will keep this in mind

Yes! Found it in DT2's sleepsuit! Just as I was about to put it in the washing machine. Can you believe it????????

you need to CAT me honey as you've opted not to receive email from mumsnet.